The Mental Militia Forums

Special Interest => Gulching/Self-Sufficiency => Food, Cooking, Brewing, Vinting, Distilling => Topic started by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:01:06 pm

Title: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:01:06 pm

Some folks disdain the little lumps of weight, they sneer at the lowly fruitcake.

Why I ask? Why?

These little brickish loaves are chock full of the kind of surival stuff that Epic tales are made of.

Walnuts, Cherries, Pineapple, Butter, Rum, Grain of some sort, why if they had named them "emergency survival logs" people would order them by the case full.

They last forever, I can honestly say that after 3 years in a longterm storage device (a metal tin with with a design on the top of it) they taste the same as they did when they came out of the oven.

So do not turn your back on this cake with the approximate density of a Dwarf Star, become the "Fruit Cake" maven of your area, it may save your life in a tight spot.

The lowly Fruitcake, long may you be regifted...... :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 03, 2007, 08:05:47 pm
You are probably right.
But man they are gross.
I've eaten some pretty wild shit but fruitcake just puts a knot in my gorge.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:07:55 pm
You are probably right.
But man they are gross.
I've eaten some pretty wild shit but fruitcake just puts a knot in my gorge.

Be tough trooper!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 03, 2007, 08:09:03 pm
Yes please, I rather like dog and is rat any different from nutria?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:10:20 pm
I love fruitcake.  Especially, my mom's homemade fruitcake.  She even used to make fruitcake cookies that were awesome as well.

Never understood why so many people dislike it so much...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:11:07 pm
Dog is rather tasty, too.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:11:54 pm
Yes please, I rather like dog and is rat any different from nutria?

Hmm, maybe they could throw some rat in one just for you...mmm Rat....

I am not sure you could taste the difference.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:14:34 pm
I love fruitcake.  Especially, my mom's homemade fruitcake.  She even used to make fruitcake cookies that were awesome as well.

Never understood why so many people dislike it so much...

Growing up ( a matter of opinion to be sure...) we used to be the recipients of orphan fruitcakes, with a little margarine on them they were edible at least.

Has anyone ever seen a spoiled fruitcake? I haven't and we had some for 2 years or so.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 03, 2007, 08:19:09 pm
Good idea padre!!!  I'll have to see if I can find any I like the taste of - ie not too loaded with sugar.
Should be the right time of year to get a good deal on them too! :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 03, 2007, 08:20:40 pm
why if they had named them "emergency survival logs" people would order them by the case full.

Okay! Now all you people who've been wondering how you could get out of your grey cubies and find yourself a gulch business -- there it is. Make your fortune in "emergency survival logs."


And padre29, you can make your living ghostwriting my columns for me. You have the gift (and I don't mean the gift of fruitcake).
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:24:16 pm
why if they had named them "emergency survival logs" people would order them by the case full.

Okay! Now all you people who've been wondering how you could get out of your grey cubies and find yourself a gulch business -- there it is. Make your fortune in "emergency survival logs."


And padre29, you can make your living ghostwriting my columns for me. You have the gift (and I don't mean the gift of fruitcake).

I don't know Claire, some of my best friends think I'm a fruitcake, so I know of what I speak....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Lightning on January 03, 2007, 08:26:55 pm
Uh-oh. 

Does the suitability of fruitcake for survival food use mean that there will now be a Fruitcake! thread in addition to the Twinkies! thread?  :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Shevek on January 03, 2007, 08:34:01 pm
Quote
Dog is rather tasty, too.
Once upon a time, when I visited a southeast Asian area, I was instructed not to ask what I was eating.

I didn't. :huh:
Title: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:34:47 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_cake

Fruitcake: Survival food?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:36:05 pm
YES  THERE NEED TO BE A FRUIT CAKE thread     it is only fair

Done.  Look in Gulching since it's a survival food.  ;)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:36:36 pm
Uh-oh. 

Does the suitability of fruitcake for survival food use mean that there will now be a Fruitcake! thread in addition to the Twinkies! thread?  :ph34r:

Blessed be the fruitcake......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:39:43 pm
Quote
Dog is rather tasty, too.
Once upon a time, when I visited a southeast Asian area, I was instructed not to ask what I was eating.

I had a bunch of Korean guys standing around snickering and watching me enjoy this absolutely wonderful dish.  They asked me in broken English how I liked it and I told them the truth: that it was delicious and I asked what was it?  They replied, "Woof Woof".

I shrugged my shoulders and kept eating.  It was good so why get upset?
 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 08:42:54 pm


Kings and Parliments feared the fruitcake as a source of survival food

Quote
In the 18th century, Europeans were baking fruitcakes using nuts from the harvest for good luck in the following year. The cake was saved and eaten before the next harvest. Fruitcakes proliferated until a law in Europe restricted them to Christmas, weddings,

The peasants used to stock up on fruitcakes to save grains and fruits and resist despots, can't have that, wouldn't be prudent, we need a law......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: enemyofthestate on January 03, 2007, 08:45:44 pm
IIRC, the modern fruitcake is descended from a type of ration made during the Crusades.  An even earlier incarnation might have been "Scripture cakes" which originated in First Century Rome.  I've heard and read anecdotes about their longevity but I don't know of any serious study of the subject.  I do recall the army once considered a "fortified" fruitcake for soldiers on patrol without resupply.  Considerig an average fruitcake has about 1500 to 2000 calores per pound and a one pound cake is pretty compact -- about the size of an empty toilet paper roll -- padre29 could be onto something here.

http://stinet.dtic.mil/oai/oai?&verb=getRecord&metadataPrefix=html&identifier=ADA129878
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: Thunder on January 03, 2007, 08:46:36 pm
If'n you don't mind, FDD....  I'm going to try to get a mod to delete this thread.  They asked for a Fruitcake thread like the Twinkie one so I created this one.  Then I thought, well shit!  Why not just continue using the one they've got?


So, hopefully, this thread will disappear.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 03, 2007, 08:53:17 pm
Quote
Dog is rather tasty, too.
Once upon a time, when I visited a southeast Asian area, I was instructed not to ask what I was eating.

I had a bunch of Korean guys standing around snickering and watching me enjoy this absolutely wonderful dish.  They asked me in broken English how I liked it and I told them the truth: that it was delicious and I asked what was it?  They replied, "Woof Woof".

I shrugged my shoulders and kept eating.  It was good so why get upset?

That's how I got to snake the first time, cept it wasn't Koreans or even anyone foreign.
It was in Campo Kalifornia the serpent in question had been apprehended in the yard and cooked.
I wasn't told til after I ate.
After that I had no issues with python in Malaysia.
Sort of like fish.


 
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 03, 2007, 08:58:53 pm
Fruitcake is kind of a cannibalistic concept for FDD anyway.

Sorry, sorry I know you want it to go away.....sorry.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: jack frake on January 03, 2007, 09:01:21 pm
Quote
I've eaten some pretty wild shit but fruitcake just puts a knot in my gorge.

Hey Bucctoo,

That comment reminded me of an ad for a cartoon my little girl wants to see. I can't remember the name of the movie but the clip had two rats in it talking and one says to the other one " If you can just muscle your way past the gag reflex it opens up a whole new world of food possibilities."

Priceless.

Jack
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 03, 2007, 09:05:10 pm
OK,
Admittedly I'm truly straying into HReardon territory here but did you know rats can't vomit?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: jack frake on January 03, 2007, 09:14:27 pm
Quote
did you know rats can't vomit?

Actually I'd never really thought about it, but it makes it seem funnier to me now.
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: padre29 on January 03, 2007, 09:39:05 pm
or merge them

Besides the smarm, fruitcake really was used as a ration back in the day. there was some decent info that came from that...who knew?

Living on fruitcake doesn't sound very fun though, maybe a fruitcake cookie with the doggie chow mein?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 03, 2007, 09:59:58 pm
Dog = Stew meat
Cat = Roof-rabbit

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 03, 2007, 10:18:19 pm
One word,...... dandelion.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Habu on January 03, 2007, 11:09:46 pm
Forgotten perhaps, but not really a secret.  As far back as the Klondike Gold Rush (if not earlier), fruitcakes were carried as emergency or cold weather rations.  They were recommended by Calvin Rutstrum and other outdoor writers of the first half of the 20th century, and were fairly common among cold weather campers until around 1970 or so.   

Is this going to degenerate into a dog-recipe thread?  Maybe I need to dig out my cookbook . . .
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Habu on January 04, 2007, 01:27:40 am
People talk about unusual foods, and most have tried one or two, but the jokes usually overwhelm any serious discussion. 

In answer to your question, a marsh rat will look and taste about like nutria from the same area.  Other diets will tend to make the rat meat look and taste different.

Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: LawyerZeke on January 04, 2007, 02:22:57 am

Living on fruitcake doesn't sound very fun though, maybe a fruitcake cookie with the doggie chow mein?

Well, fruitcake would look a lot better if your rock-bottom survival ration was Purina Primate Chow (yes, they make one).

It's all relative, doncha know?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Jack21221 on January 04, 2007, 05:11:58 am
Jim Gaffigan has a bit about fruitcake.

From memory, pardon me if it isn't verbatim.

"Fruit, good... Cake, great... Fruitcake: Nasty crap. What are the ingredients in fruitcake? Anything but fruit? *numnum* What is this, a skittle? *numnum* A treasure map??"
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!! - naming names
Post by: redclay on January 04, 2007, 05:59:07 am
Down here in the south, the jokes abound about old Claxton fruitcakes found many years later used as doorstops in some older homes....but my vote goes to the Southern Supreme fruitcake co. in NC - if you are in to fruitcakes, they make them in all useable sizes....they sold out once again for the holidays this year, but should start making them again by midyear....I don't know about their storage life......the company has a seasonal staff, since fruitcake is considered a fall/winter holiday treat. There are bus tours to the plant as well..... Just google them for the website...rgds, redclay 1/4/07
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: cowardly lion on January 04, 2007, 06:07:34 am
Mrs Lion makes a **fantastic** fruitcake, we have to limit how often she makes it or I'd eat it all the time.  Survival food, hell, I'd be eating it long before I got to the rice and beans.

cl
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on January 04, 2007, 06:57:09 am
bucctoo, I think a homemade fruitcake would have less sugar and fat in it than the commercial one you listed; besides, noone usually eats a fifth  of a homemade fruitcake. I wonder how large (or small) than tin was that it came in?

Here's a good recipe:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_8157,00.html

or maybe Mrs. Lion would give us hers.

Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: coloradohermit on January 04, 2007, 07:57:12 am
You all could  come to visit Colorado and participate in
Quote
THE 12TH ANNUAL FRUITCAKE TOSS IN MANITOU SPRINGS
DATE: SATURDAY, JANUARY 6TH 2007
TIME: 9:30 AM – 2:00 PM
NEW LOCATION: Manitou Springs High School TRACK
ENTRY FEE: One canned food item or one non-perishable food item to be donated to
the local food bank.
WINNERS IN THE LAUNCH, TOSS, HURL AND PNEUMATIC DEVICE WILL RECEIVE TROPHIES
SPONSORED BY: THE MANITOU SPRINGS CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, THE
DULCIMER SHOP, PURE QUALITY SOUND PRODUCTIONS & MANITOU
CLIFF DWELLINGS & MUSEUM
RULES:
1. Participants should bring their own fruitcakes. Fruitcakes must contain glaceed fruits, nuts and
flour. They cannot contain anything inedible. Fruitcakes will not be “taste tested”. Fruitcakes
must be visible to the inspectors, no duct tape, foil, etc. All Fruitcakes will be examined by the
“Fruitcake Toss Tech Inspectors.”
2. A limited number of fruitcakes will be available to rent for $1.00 if you were not fortunate enough to receive
one of your own or if you were unable to find the time or recipe to bake one.
3. For the distance competitions there will be two weight classes:
under 16 ounces (1 lb)
16 – 32 ounces (2 lb)
If a Fruitcake goes over its weight class, it must be cut to weight.
4. For the Fruitcake Launch the device used to launch the fruitcake must not be powered by fuel (ie:
no motors, engines, gasoline, diesel, etc.) The maximum length of the hurling device will be 10 feet.
Safety is the most important issue. Any device deemed not to be safe by the organizing
committee will not be allowed to compete.
5. Pneumatics or air powered (spud guns) will be a separate competition. Only pneumatic spud guns can be used.
Guns must be made entirely out of either ABS pipe or PVC pipe. DO NOT MIX PIPE TYPES. Length of spud gun is up
to the contestant keeping in mind the contestant must have complete control of spud gun at all times. Only compressed
air from bicycle pumps will be allowed on the field. No 12 volt tire or big air compressors.
6. The distance competitions are as follows:
The Fruitcake Launch - Using a mechanical device
The Fruitcake Toss - One person physically throwing a fruitcake
The Official Fruitcake Hurl - Using the catapult built by the organizing committee
The Pneumatic Spud Gun - Using pneumatic spud gun brought to the competition by the contestant
Kids Toss - 3 age groups (3-5, 6-9, 10-12) One Girl & One Boy winner in each age group.
No weight classes for Fruit Cake in Kids Toss.
The fruitcake in each weight class that goes the longest distance will determine the winner in each division
7. Glamour & Travel Competition
Prizes awarded for: Most Beautiful Fruitcake, Ugliest Fruitcake, Most Creative Use of Fruit Cake,
Fruitcake that traveled the greatest distance to the event (proof provided by post marks on package)
8. Participants may enter in any and all categories.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 04, 2007, 08:40:50 am
While of course I agree that TCF simply must have a Fruitcake!!! thread, I also agree with Thunder that we probably really don't need two. So I've merged his thread with padre29's original. Since the messages merge according to the time they were posted, this might have made for some weird-looking discussion as two different conversations melded into one. Sorry 'bout that.

OTOH, weird-looking discussion seems quite appropriate here.

Now, should I move this thread to Gulching, where it can wander side-by-side with Twinkies? Or leave it here.

BTW, that was fascinating to learn that fruitcakes actually were survival food. And banned. Whodathunk?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Vydunas on January 04, 2007, 09:05:43 am
I love fruitcake.  Especially, my mom's homemade fruitcake.  She even used to make fruitcake cookies that were awesome as well.

Never understood why so many people dislike it so much...
Embalmed fruit.
Never, ever make fruitcake out of anything designed solely to be put into fruitcake. No candied citron, glace cherries, etc. Also beware of recipes calling for molasses, unless you really like that sort of thing. Find a recipe that creates a light-colored batter. Then fill it full of dried fruit from your local health-food store / food co-op.  Yellow raisins and apricots are essential. Pineapple, papaya and mango are also good. Dried blueberries and cherries are wonderful, but pricey. I've even used goji berries!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Vydunas on January 04, 2007, 09:07:15 am

I don't know Claire, some of my best friends think I'm a fruitcake, so I know of what I speak....

You are what you eat.
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!!
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 04, 2007, 09:17:53 am
Well, fruitcake would look a lot better if your rock-bottom survival ration was Purina Primate Chow (yes, they make one).

But Zupreme (or Zoopreme?) primate food is good stuff.  I used to snack on that at the pet store all the time!!  Excuse me while I go scratch myself.....

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: cowardly lion on January 04, 2007, 09:39:18 am
Vydunas, I didn't say my wife's fruitcake was *good* for me, I said it was delicious.    :laugh:

cl
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on January 04, 2007, 10:26:06 am
Reasons why the Twinkie thread will remain supreme:

1) Twinkies inspire talk of science projects, blowing things up, launching things into space, Fruitcake inspires discussion of fond memories of eating dog, and it goes downhill from there.

2) Fruitcake has no creme filling.  While probably unhealthy, "Creme Filling" is fun to say and invites sexually suggestive discussion as to it's nature and origins.

3) Twinkies have done all sorts on interesting and exciting things in our lifetime,  fruitcake requires historical digging to get to the interesting stuff (ie survival food, government bans, revolutionary participation).  Lets face it, you are more likely to remember the time you squashed a Twinkie on your sister's head, and make a brief reminiscent post before logging out than saying "Oh what the hell, I'll just look up on the net real quick and see if there is any historical reference to fruitcake as assassination weapons before I go to bed". With Twinkies, you just know they have been, and can think of ways off the top of your head.

4) Fruitcake is complex, it's hard to imagine anything you could mix with it, or add to it that isn't already in there.  Twinkies invite experiment, They beg for creative tinkering.

5) Twinkies have a cool mascot, he's got a cowboy hat and boots, and a gun, and no pants! you just know he's got to be one of us! Fruitcakes always have "Scenes" a horse and buggy on a crowded street in a snowy new england town, or a sled ride past a mill pond with 4 or 5 iceskaters... and probably more than one dog in the scene (hmmmm)...  Basically fruit cake tries too hard to be something it's not.

Fruitcake may be a fantastic survival food, but it's just not something you TALK about outside of morbid discussions about the Donner party, and academic historical accounts of deep importance.  Not likely to even remotely challenge the mighty edifice that is the Twinkie thread.
 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 04, 2007, 10:31:08 am
  Would a Hardyville fruitcake have a picture of the Drunken Cowboy on it?

  Damn, I spelled Hardyville wrong again! Edited to correct my faux pas.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 04, 2007, 10:40:14 am
  Would a Hardyville fruitcake have a picture of the Drunken Cowboy on it?

The drunken cowboy IS a Hardyville fruitcake.

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 04, 2007, 10:45:00 am
Fruitcake inspires discussion of fond memories of eating dog, and it goes downhill from there.
.........
3) Twinkies have done all sorts on interesting and exciting things in our lifetime,  fruitcake requires historical digging to get to the interesting stuff (ie survival food, government bans, revolutionary participation).  Lets face it, you are more likely to remember the time you squashed a Twinkie on your sister's head, and make a brief reminiscent post before logging out than saying "Oh what the hell, I'll just look up on the net real quick and see if there is any historical reference to fruitcake as assassination weapons before I go to bed". With Twinkies, you just know they have been, and can think of ways off the top of your head.

And really, who doesn't have fond memories of eating dog.....?

To rectify the lack of exciting fruitcake memories, we need a Hardyville "Fruitcake Experimentation Club".  The possibilites are endless depending how you interpret the club name!

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Vydunas on January 04, 2007, 11:18:03 am
"Deep-fried fruitcake" just doesn't have the same ring.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dare2BFree on January 04, 2007, 11:30:22 am
"Deep-fried fruitcake" just doesn't have the same ring.

hmmm..... I think I work with one or two of those  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on January 04, 2007, 12:55:03 pm
 :laugh:
Quote
To rectify the lack of exciting fruitcake memories, we need a Hardyville "Fruitcake Experimentation Club".  The possibilites are endless depending how you interpret the club name!
   Oh I LOVE it, it's a fantastic idea, I'm just saying that compared to the pervasive nature of the Twinkie, it would be a select club by nature on par with the Freemasons, secretive, esoteric, maybe not exclusive by design, but certainly by choice. Yes I think a sort of "non-masonic" Hardyville society of freethinking fruitcake experimenters has real good possibilities. Like the order of the Possum on the Red Green Show.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 04, 2007, 02:04:45 pm
Reasons why the Twinkie thread will remain supreme:

Not likely to even remotely challenge the mighty edifice that is the Twinkie thread.

Mr. Dare -- best laugh I've had all week.

And speaking of the Mighty Edifice ... I just ventured in there for the first time in months & it occurred to me that it's possible -- just possible -- that TCF can lay claim to the longest (and certainly the most pointless) thread in the history of the entire Internet. Wouldn't that be amazing? Maybe Guinness could write us up, even.

I must agree, a fruitcake thread probably doesn't have potential to match that.

At least I pray that this fruitcake thread doesn't have that potential. Oh gods, please save us if it does ...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 04, 2007, 04:33:14 pm
Geez,  I figured by now someone would have a bulk fruit cake buy organized.  For a good price I am difinitely in for a stack of cases! :mellow:  I heard you folks have large holdings of Twinkies but fruit cakes have got to be alot better for you and last just as long. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 05, 2007, 08:38:33 pm


Are there any Twinkie throwing contests that involve catapults?

Can you use a twinkie as a door stop?

whoever went off to battle carrying a twinkie?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 05, 2007, 08:46:17 pm
hmmmm   very good point  :laugh:

Yarrgggh! :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on January 05, 2007, 08:53:35 pm
http://moblog.co.uk/view.php?id=53397
Quote
Dude. I am so your girl here. Do you know how much Twinkie-related crap I HAVE in this house? I (literally) have a small siege engine DESIGNED to catapult Twinkies (yes. I really do own a Twinkbouchet.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 05, 2007, 09:16:03 pm
http://moblog.co.uk/view.php?id=53397
Quote
Dude. I am so your girl here. Do you know how much Twinkie-related crap I HAVE in this house? I (literally) have a small siege engine DESIGNED to catapult Twinkies (yes. I really do own a Twinkbouchet.)


Fruitcakes don't need "mini" trebuchets, they can use the fullsized models.

 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 05, 2007, 09:28:04 pm
Hell, here I thought they filled the counterweight with fruitcake for better range.

So if you had to defend your home, would you prefer a frozen twinkie, or a frozen fruitcake?

Fruitcakes multi task as both food and weapon.......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 05, 2007, 09:53:05 pm
Oh fruitcake for sure.
Although, one must excesses extreme caution with fruitcake the density is liable to cause it to collapse into itself and create a gravitational singularity from which even the operator could not escape.
 :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 05, 2007, 09:59:01 pm
If you make your fruitcake out of micro cellulose, you could either eat for breakfast or burn it in your wood stove....

(No, I do not have a witty reply to the singularity at this moment, I'm doing battle with a DSL trying to get it to access my dsl connection)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 05, 2007, 10:12:18 pm
Whatta ya mean.
You don't really think Uranium had anything to do with the Manhattan project do you?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 05, 2007, 10:17:07 pm
Oprah is more like osmium.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on January 05, 2007, 11:02:06 pm


Are there any Twinkie throwing contests that involve catapults?

Can you use a twinkie as a door stop?

whoever went off to battle carrying a twinkie?
http://elothtes.pbwiki.com/Defense%20Twinkies
The History of the Defense Twinkie

Quote
Developed in the years shortly following The Unsundering, by people of the Parsonyan Kingdom these twinkies were the first in a line of covert gadgets to be used by spies with the onset of Black Ops as provoked by the War Men.
   Still working on the door stop angle, found several people using them to stop drafts coming in under the door...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Bill on January 06, 2007, 10:58:38 am
Oprah is more like osmium.

You mean, she's as dense as can be, and smells bad too?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 11:30:31 am

And speaking of the Mighty Edifice ... I just ventured in there for the first time in months & it occurred to me that it's possible -- just possible -- that TCF can lay claim to the longest (and certainly the most pointless) thread in the history of the entire Internet. Wouldn't that be amazing? Maybe Guinness could write us up, even.

I must agree, a fruitcake thread probably doesn't have potential to match that.

At least I pray that this fruitcake thread doesn't have that potential. Oh gods, please save us if it does ...

Ah, Claire, this sounds like a challenge!! Fruitcake vs. Twinkies. Though the Twinkie thread has a head start, there is lots of nonsense available in a fruitcake. (But then again, I repeat myself.)
Item: Fruitcakes can be thrown farther than watermelons.
Item: Fruitcakes can be rolled easier than a 2x4
Item: Fruitcakes have a longer life expectancy than a yuppie. (Though not as long as a Twinkie, I admit.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on January 06, 2007, 11:36:09 am
If the fruitcake is dense enough, it could be broken up into spitball size and used in slingshots. (Catapult not needed.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 11:40:06 am
If the fruitcake is dense enough, it could be broken up into spitball size and used in slingshots. (Catapult not needed.)

The fruitshot (a slingshot for fruitcake) was invented by the son-in-law of the woman claimed to make the worst fruitcake in history. Her name was Gretta. She lived in a small town in Romania.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 11:53:09 am
  It is not commonly known, but some of the first wheels were actually petrified fruitcakes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 12:11:43 pm


Et tu Fruitcake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 12:34:18 pm


Et tu Fruitcake?

Fruitcake, fruitcake. Wherefore art thou fruitcake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 12:48:17 pm
Alas for poor fruitcake, I knew him twinkie, a food of infinite indigestion and fine fair, he hath filled my stomach a thousand times, and look he is still as fresh as when we put him into the ground....

Hamlet
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 12:55:03 pm
   Pyr.  Sweet fruitcake, I thank thee for thy nuttes and suche,
I thanke thee fruitcake, for tasting now so goode:
For by thy gracious, golden, glittering selfe,
I trust to taste of truest fruite and nuttes.
But stay: O spight! but marke, poore fruitcake,
What dreadful dole is heere?
Eyes do you see! How can it be!
O dainty Ducke: O Deere!
Thy taste so good; what staind with blood!
Approch you furies fell:
O Fates! come, come: Cut thred and thrum,
Quaile, crush, conclude, and quell.

Thus did fruitcake bring it's joye to Pyramus.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 01:09:30 pm
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow and all of the fruitcakes past
creeps in this thread from day to day
Until the last post recorded at this time
And all of the twinkies have lighted like candles
Our fruitcake is on it's way to a dusty hiding place
Eat Eat the fruitcake
Twinkies are but a snack cake filled with creme
This is a tale told about fruitcake, full of nuts and fruit and spirits
Signifiying survival, and will be eaten more.....

MacBeth
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:13:35 pm
   Moon.  All that I have to say, is to tell you, that the
Fruit is the Cake; I, the man in the Fruitcake; this
fruitcake; my fruitcake; and this twinkie, my twinkie.
   Dem.  Why all these should be in the fruitcake: for
they are in the man. But silence, heere comes


twinkie
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 01:24:40 pm
fruitcake strive with none, for none is worth it's strife
Fruicake I loved and next to fruitcake, Twinkies
I warmed my hands over the fire of a burning fruitcake
It is all gone, I grow ready to depart
To buy more fruitcake....

Dying words of an old philosopher Walter Savage Landor
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on January 06, 2007, 01:28:25 pm
Isn't it time to take this show on the road? You might play well in Peoria...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:29:07 pm
   Marchant.  Proceed Solinus to procure my fall,
And by the doome of fruitcake end woes and all.
   Duke.  Merchant of Siracusa, plead no more.
I am not partiall to fruitcake;
The enmity and discord which of late
Sprung from the rancorous outrage of fruitcake,
To Merchants our well-dealing Countrimen,
Who wanting gilders to redeeme their fruitcakes,
Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with their blouds,
Excludes all pitty from our threatning lookes:
For since the mortall and intestine jarres
Twixt thy seditious fruit and cake,
It hath in solemne Synodes beene decreed,
Both by the Siracusians and our selves,
To admit no fruitcake to our adverse townes:
Nay more, if any fruitcake of Ephesus
Be seene at any Siracusian Marts and Fayres:
Againe, if any Siracusian sickened
By rancid fruitcake of Ephesus, he dies:
His fruitcake confiscate to the Dukes dispose,
Unlesse a thousand markes be levied
To quit the penalty, and to ransome it:
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
Cannot amount unto a hundred Markes,
Therefore by Law thou art condemn'd to eat your owne fruitcake.
   Mer.  Yet this my comfort, when the fruitcake be done,
My woes end likewise with the evening Sonne.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:34:46 pm
A glooming peace this morning with it brings,
The fruitcake, for Twinkie will not shew his head;
Go hence, to haue more talke of these good things,
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished.
For neuer was a Storie of more Wo,
Then this of Fruitcake, and her Twinkie.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 01:42:33 pm

Thou still uneaten food of quietness
Thou child of bakers old
Epicurial Historian, who can express you?
A food tale more sweetly told?
What loaf shaped legend haunts about thy shape?
Of food or brick, or both?
In Tempe or Shaobogan?
What food or substance are these? What maiden's loaf?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:44:09 pm

Thou still uneaten food of quietness
Thou child of bakers old
Epicurial Historian, who can express you?
A food tale more sweetly told?
What loaf shaped legend haunts about thy shape?
Of food or brick, or both?
In Tempe or Shaobogan?
What food or substance are these? What maiden's loaf?

padre, I don't recognize that one.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 01:49:59 pm

Keat's "Ode on a  Grecian Urn"
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:51:09 pm
Actus Primus. Scoena Prima.

Thunder and Lightning. Enter three Fruitcakes.

  1. When shall we three meet againe?
In Thunder, Lightning, or in Raine?
  2. When the Twinkie's cream is done,
When the Fruitcake's lost, and wonne

   3. That will be ere the set of Sunne

   1. Where the place?
  2. Vpon the Hearth

   3. There to meet with Twinkie, or death

   1. I come, my fruit, my cake

   All. Padock calls anon: faire is foule, and foule is faire,
Houer through the fogge and filthie ayre.
Whither Twinkie, Fruitcake or Dare.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 01:52:30 pm

Keat's "Ode on a  Grecian Urn"

Ah.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 01:59:27 pm
"With his spirit raging from hunger
With a fork at his side, a loaf hot from the oven
Shall in this gulch hear the minarch's voice
Cry Havoc, and let's eat fruitcake"

I think I have butchered enough poetry and prose for one day.... :laugh:

Julius Caesar
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 06, 2007, 02:49:13 pm
You guys are hilarious!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You have convinced me, I am going to go buy a fruit cake.
And now that you have finished waxing on high about this worthy repast, how about gettin' that bulk fruit cake buy together???  Fruit cakes are both great nourishment and a comfort food - perfect.  Should we all buy different brands so we can make reccommendations and write reviews?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 06:30:33 pm
 Walking By Fruitcake On A Snowy Evening
  By Robert Cold

  Whose Fruitcake this is, I think I know,
  His house is in the village, though,
  He will not see me stopping here,
  To watch his cake fill up with snow.

  My little horse must think it queer,
  To stop with aged fruitcake near.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on January 06, 2007, 06:41:01 pm
My only real issue with fruit cake is the recipe.  Some vile fruits are sometime put in it that I would only eat if I was starving.  I guess that does prove the point.......

A good recipe would probably go a long way in making it a good survival food.  I can remember many times mom made the cinamon-raisin bread that would sit on the counter for a wake up snack for going out to the chores.  Usually when it was "tree time" in November.  The "gift" fruitcake was right beside it, and when the recipe was right, it could disappear faster than the raisin bread.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 06:43:55 pm
Vile fruits? I never met a fruit that was vile. (Except, maybe, the fruits from the Government.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on January 06, 2007, 07:21:51 pm
Some fuits have....an aftertaste.  It is a vile one, so while they are healthy, they are on the "only if starving" list with cockroaches and such, but much higher ranking.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 07:30:18 pm


Once upon a gulch dreary, as I pondered weak and weary
Over many a MRE quaint and filing
While I nodded weak from hunger, my dropping to the floor There came smell
A smell a smell came wafting through my hardened door
Tis some some food and no more


Ah distinctly i remember, the meals we had in many a December
And i searched the floor for some crumbs
And sorrow I felt for my dear cheese steak
Gone gone to be mentioned no more

Quote the Raven, "you should have bought more fruitcake"
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 07:44:04 pm
I pledge Allegiance to the Fruitcake of the United Gulchers Anonymous. And too the survival, for which it stands, one fruitcake, divisible, with Twinkies and laughter for all.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 07:55:03 pm


Two fruitcakes walk into a bar and one of them has a duck under it's arm....

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dare2BFree on January 06, 2007, 07:56:22 pm
You two seriously need to find a hobby to harness all the energy you're spending on fruitcakes  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 07:57:02 pm


Two fruitcakes walk into a bar and one of them has a duck under it's arm....



The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ducks here."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dare2BFree on January 06, 2007, 08:00:02 pm
you may have me on that one   :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 08:02:20 pm
Two ducks walk into a bar and one of them has a fruitcake under it's arm....


The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ducks here."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 06, 2007, 08:05:28 pm
Two ducks walk into a bar and one of them has a fruitcake under it's arm....


The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ducks here."

One fruitcake then says "Duck what Duck this is my wife"
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 08:08:13 pm
Two ducks walk into a bar and one of them has a fruitcake under it's arm....


The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ducks here."

One fruitcake then says "Duck what Duck this is my wife"

ba-dump- bump
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Lightning on January 06, 2007, 09:34:24 pm
Actus Primus. Scoena Prima.

Thunder and Lightning. Enter three Fruitcakes.

Hey now.  Why ya draggin' me into this?   :huh:

 :mellow: ;)

I'm only one Fruitcake.   :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 06, 2007, 09:47:24 pm
Actus Primus. Scoena Prima.

Thunder and Lightning. Enter three Fruitcakes.

Hey now.  Why ya draggin' me into this?   :huh:

 :mellow: ;)

I'm only one Fruitcake.   :laugh:

Wondered if you would pick up on that.  :laugh: Thought it was kinda fun to leave that in. Nothing personal. Just good fun.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 09, 2007, 05:03:03 pm

Here is some background on fruitcake storage:

Quote
Fruitcakes and Liquor
After being slowly baked, the finished fruitcakes get their preservative treatment. Cheesecloth is soaked in brandy, bourbon, whiskey, rum or other liquor and then wrapped around the cooled fruitcake. The whole shebang is then wrapped in foil to ripen and age.
Fruitcake Storage
Fruitcakes soaked in liquor can literally last for years if you periodically add more liquor. Some fruitcake fans won't even touch a fruitcake until it has aged at least three years, although it's generally recommended that soaked fruitcakes be consumed within two years. Fruitcake should be tightly wrapped and stored in the refrigerator. Unwrap every few months and drizzle with liquor. Re-wrap tightly.

Interestingly enough, although fruitcake can be frozen, its life is shorter than if refrigerated, only one year.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 09, 2007, 05:06:41 pm

Here are some fruitcake recipes:


http://www.cooksrecipes.com/cakes/fruit-cakes.html




Applesauce Cheddar Fruitcake

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons Calumet Baking Powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup chopped Planters Pecans
1/2 cup chopped dates
1/2 cup chopped maraschino cherries, well drained
2 cups Kraft Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup applesauce
1 (3-ounce) package Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened
3 to 4 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon brandy extract
2 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar

   1. Mix flour, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg in medium bowl.
   2. Mix pecans, dates and cherries in large bowl; stir in 1 cup of the flour mixture and cheese.
   3. Beat butter and granulated sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add remaining flour mixture alternately with applesauce, mixing well after each addition. Gently stir in cheese mixture.
   4. Pour batter into well-greased 12-inch tube pan or fluted tube pan.
   5. Bake at 325°F for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pan. Cool completely.
   6. Mix cream cheese, milk and extract until well blended. Gradually add powdered sugar, beating until light and fluffy after each addition. Serve over cake.

Makes 16 servings.


16 servings!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pessimist on January 09, 2007, 07:36:29 pm
In a galaxy far away and long ago, I used to be a real estate salesman.  Our office had a "draw a name" gift exchange at Christmas time.  The fellow who drew my name did something incredibly brave.  He gave me a fruitcake made by the Collin Street Bakery in Texas.  I was shocked.  And then I did something most of you have, apparently, never done.  I ate some of it.

IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!

Now, there are some BAD fruitcakes out there.  But there are some VERY good ones, too.  I've had good ones from three different makers: the Collin Street Bakery, the Capitol Cake Company of Baltimore, and Hickory Farms.  In general, there are two kinds: the "light" ones, and the "dark" ones.  Always get the light ones.

But before you decide fruitcakes are some sort of horror (based on Johnny Carson jokes), you really should try some good ones.  Any of the above three will do.  The ones from Hickory Farms are the easiest to find.

Sometimes I'll take a GOOD fruitcake to a gathering at Christmas time, and the general response is, "Ugh, I don't eat that stuff!"  But with some good-natured prodding, some people will actually try some.  Then the fruitcake is almost always completely eaten up, and people learn something they didn't know before.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: GreenArrow on January 09, 2007, 09:43:59 pm
I have finally caught up reading this thread and was pretty surprised to find out that fruit cakes were survival items in the past. I have'nt always liked fruit cakes but I was given one for christmas this year that I did like and lol and behold I found this thread.........I think I am going to try making a couple up and see how they turn out.........thanks for the recipes and the historical background guys............GA
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on January 10, 2007, 10:37:22 am

Here are some fruitcake recipes:


http://www.cooksrecipes.com/cakes/fruit-cakes.html




Applesauce Cheddar Fruitcake

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons Calumet Baking Powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup chopped Planters Pecans
1/2 cup chopped dates
1/2 cup chopped maraschino cherries, well drained
2 cups Kraft Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup applesauce
1 (3-ounce) package Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened
3 to 4 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon brandy extract
2 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar

   1. Mix flour, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg in medium bowl.
   2. Mix pecans, dates and cherries in large bowl; stir in 1 cup of the flour mixture and cheese.
   3. Beat butter and granulated sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add remaining flour mixture alternately with applesauce, mixing well after each addition. Gently stir in cheese mixture.
   4. Pour batter into well-greased 12-inch tube pan or fluted tube pan.
   5. Bake at 325°F for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pan. Cool completely.
   6. Mix cream cheese, milk and extract until well blended. Gradually add powdered sugar, beating until light and fluffy after each addition. Serve over cake.

Makes 16 servings.


16 servings!

substitute real cherrries for maraschinos.
swap dates with semi dried apple or banana chunks.
No "cheese frosting"

And I think that was what we had, maybe more cinnamon.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on January 10, 2007, 10:38:10 am
Try this with Twinkies!!!!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007010432,00.html
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 10, 2007, 10:50:11 am
What about a fruitcake made using Twinkies in place of the flour?

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on January 10, 2007, 11:03:25 am
Interesting, I like it! :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 10, 2007, 11:20:51 am
a twinkie fruit cake ?  :puke:

That would be miscegenation!



And how is it (you conspiracy buffs especially should be asking this) that the FRUITCAKE thread has suddenly been subverted into TWINKIE-THREAD "lite"??? Partisans of the Fruitcake Resistance, are you going to allow this incursion of vile modern junkfood into the Great Fraternity of the Noble and Subversive Fruitcake to go unchallenged?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Vydunas on January 10, 2007, 11:48:04 am
a twinkie fruit cake ?  :puke:

That would be miscegenation!
"Not that there's anything wrong with that"!

But cheese in a fruitcake...really, now...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on January 10, 2007, 02:54:56 pm
Quote
But cheese in a fruitcake...really, now...


Isn't that a cheesecake? Let's start a cheesecake thread...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 10, 2007, 04:55:21 pm
a twinkie fruit cake ?  :puke:

That would be miscegenation!



And how is it (you conspiracy buffs especially should be asking this) that the FRUITCAKE thread has suddenly been subverted into TWINKIE-THREAD "lite"??? Partisans of the Fruitcake Resistance, are you going to allow this incursion of vile modern junkfood into the Great Fraternity of the Noble and Subversive Fruitcake to go unchallenged?

Ahh Claire, there is subversion going on but not of the Fruitcake Mighty Fruitcake, the more twinkie folks post here, the less that the twinkie thread gets bumped back up.

It's a co option of the Twinkie for Fruitcakian purposes.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 13, 2007, 10:46:01 pm
Ahh Claire, there is subversion going on but not of the Fruitcake Mighty Fruitcake, the more twinkie folks post here, the less that the twinkie thread gets bumped back up.

It's a co option of the Twinkie for Fruitcakian purposes.....

This is such a diabolical concept, padre29 that I could almost take you as a member of the Certain Persons Cabal.

You are fiendish indeed -- and please take that as a high compliment.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on January 13, 2007, 10:48:58 pm
It's a co option of the Twinkie for Fruitcakian purposes.....

But I must also add that while I heartily approve of such co-option for philosophical, strategic, tactical, and discussionary purposes, I stand foresquare with those who insist that, in real life, Twinkies must never, never, never, ever be used for Fruitcakian purposes. Please. Oh mercy, please.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 14, 2007, 08:19:30 am

Chuck Norris broke his foot kicking a fruitcake.......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 14, 2007, 08:22:32 am

Chuck Norris broke his foot kicking a fruitcake.......

and the fruitcake survived intact.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on January 17, 2007, 03:49:26 pm
Chuck Norris IS a fruitcake!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 05:44:09 pm
Thus spoke Fruitcake:
  The waters run deep and clear. See the running deer. ..... Bam! .... See the fallen deer. Take this cake, which is part of me. Eat it, for there is nothing left to eat. Verily I say unto you, when all the Twinkies are gone, still I will be with you.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 05:47:29 pm
The many gathered at the foot of the mountain, for they had heard the Tales the old ones told of ..... Fruitcake, and knew the time had come. And they rejoiced. Blessed be the fruitcake, they shouted.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 05:53:40 pm
The old man and woman sat on the mountain top, hearing the people praising the Fruitcake. They remained silent. Still the people cheered the Fruitcake. The couple remained silent. The voices of the people echoed up to them as they sat on the mountain top.
Finally the old man spoke.
"My dear," he said, in an whispery voice, for he was old and tired. "Can we finally get rid of this goddam Fruitcake?"
"No." she replied hastily. "I'm saving it for Christmas."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 05:59:09 pm
  Days passed. The days became weeks, and still the many gathered at the foot of the mountain. Hoarse from shouting, they could not speak, yet they supplicated themselves at the base of they mountain, hoping against hope the old couple would grant their wish and release the Fruitcake. Still, the old lady refused.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 06:04:20 pm
  A young girl stepped forward and said, "I will go to the top of the mountain."
  Up, she climbed. Her body was tired, yet still she pressed on. Her feet were bleeding from the sharp rocks, as were her hands, and still she continued. Finally, reaching the top of the mountain, she saw the old couple.
  Oh, my poor child!" the old lady said, inviting the girl to sit by her. "It's almost Christmas time, isn't it? Would you like some nice Fruitcake?"
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 06:10:09 pm
   The Tale as told by the Learned Ones was carried down through the ages, and the parable of the Fruitcake taught the Many a harsh lesson of life. 'If you want some Fruitcake, get off your butt and climbed the Mountain. (Make sure it's near Christmas time, though.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on January 20, 2007, 06:23:58 pm
The one, indisputably superior thing about fruitcakes is that they can be made at home, not relying on the modern industrial world to provide.  In post-TSHTF America, there can still be fruitcakes made with local items. 

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 20, 2007, 06:31:45 pm
Ahh! Not only a comfort food, sweet and tasty with a bit of alcohol, not only a survival food since the Crusades, but a food with its own mythology!  Nourishment worshiped by the ancients!!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 06:34:21 pm
Ahh! Not only a comfort food, sweet and tasty with a bit of alcohol, not only a survival food since the Crusades, but a food with its own mythology!  Nourishment worshiped by the ancients!!!

I see you have studied the words of the ancient ones. There is much wisdom to be found.

Shorty
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 07:02:51 pm
In a little town in Iowa, there lived a fellow everyone knew only as Rocky. Rocky was very old, though even he didn't know how old he was. He wore a hat that looked like it had seen better days, yet it was the same hat he always wore.
  Rocky would come into town, once in a while to show the town-folk things he had found digging around the ruins of the old Bonner place. He was sort of an ancient archaeologist, you see, and he loved to dig for interesting things.
  Well, ... one day, Rocky came riding into town, ridin' on his old mule, Frederika, and he was a whoopin' and hollerin', holding up a burlap bag, high in the air. The folks in town gathered to see what old Rocky had found. Now, Rocky liked to be dramatic, and he waited till folks were ready to see what he had found. At the appropriate time, he put his left hand inside the bag, (His right hand, you see, was missin' two fingers, which he lost, so he always said, fighting a coyote.),and pulled out ..... a fruitcake, which had been buried, as near as Rocky could tell, for over 6 hundred years. And, then, in front of the assembled crowd, he proceeded to take a bite of it. With a laugh, he declared the Fruitcake, "Tasty as ever."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 20, 2007, 07:30:42 pm


A little known historical factoid.

When Genghis Kahn was riding over the steppes of Asia, he was known to eat fruitcake to toughen himself up, anyone who couldn't eat three whole fruitcakes, wasn't considered a true "Mongol".
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kel on January 20, 2007, 07:34:22 pm
If my math is right, this thread got this far about 2 days faster than "Twinkies" did. Seems to be concrete evidence of the inherent superiority of a "food" that you can make yourself.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 07:37:00 pm


A little known historical factoid.

When Genghis Kahn was riding over the steppes of Asia, he was known to eat fruitcake to toughen himself up, anyone who couldn't eat three whole fruitcakes, wasn't considered a true "Mongol".

I've heard tell of that padre. It is also true that the Abenaki tribe had a ceremony that was an initiation of warriors, in which the young brave, wishing to become a Warrior wound run between two rows of 20 warriors who would throw Fruitcakes at him. If he was successful in dodging the Fruitcakes, he became a warrior. If he was not successful, well, ... have you ever been hit by 40 Fruitcakes?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 20, 2007, 08:15:34 pm

Another small factoid:

There was a lead shortage in England in the years 1587 and 1588, Queen Elizabeth, at her wit's end saw a fruitcake on one of the royal banquet tables.

When the English Navy attacked the Armada, it was fruitcake that did the greatest damage to the Spanish, not only did the high velocity fruitcakes blow holes in the Spanish Man-o-Wars, but the crumbs caused a vermin explosion aboard the ships.....

Once again, fruitcake can either feed you, or kill you....be nice to the fruitcake
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 08:21:24 pm
  Supply records from the siege of the Alamo record that before the final attack by Santa Anna's troops, the defenders had run out of Fruitcake.

  Fruitcake. Get enough. It could save your life.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 20, 2007, 08:33:13 pm


In 'Nam, when Victor Charles was dug into deep tunnel complexes, the US would leave hungry fruitcakes at the entrances to the tunnels, no one really know what happened, but three weeks later the tunnels were cleared of VC and there was a multitude of fruitcakes lined neatly into rows outside the tunnels.

The term du-ma-nhieu still draws a strong reaction in Vietnamese folks unto this day...

(I think it means the cherry filled killer....)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 20, 2007, 08:41:55 pm


In 'Nam, when Victor Charles was dug into deep tunnel complexes, the US would leave hungry fruitcakes at the entrances to the tunnels, no one really know what happened, but three weeks later the tunnels were cleared of VC and there was a multitude of fruitcakes lined neatly into rows outside the tunnels.

The term du-ma-nhieu still draws a strong reaction in Vietnamese folks unto this day...

(I think it means the cherry filled killer....)

My brother spent some time crawling around in those tunnels. He never said much about it, but I saw the look on his face, one Christmas day, when a Fruitcake was placed on the table.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 21, 2007, 09:42:25 pm
padre!!!! :angry: I am shocked by your sudden and unprovoked outpouring of derogatory and false stories  about this ancient and revered life sustaining mana.  WHAT is the matter?  Is this a case of misplaced hostility???   :huh: :huh: :huh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 21, 2007, 10:01:10 pm
padre!!!! :angry: I am shocked by your sudden and unprovoked outpouring of derogatory and false stories  about this ancient and revered life sustaining mana.  WHAT is the matter?  Is this a case of misplaced hostility???   :huh: :huh: :huh:

They were rum soaked fruitcakes......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 21, 2007, 10:19:18 pm
padre!!!! :angry: I am shocked by your sudden and unprovoked outpouring of derogatory and false stories  about this ancient and revered life sustaining mana.  WHAT is the matter?  Is this a case of misplaced hostility???   :huh: :huh: :huh:

They were rum soaked fruitcakes......

Perfectly understandable, padre. Fruitcakes, particularly those soaked in good Jamaica Rum, can do strange things to a man.
By the way, is there any of that Fruitcake left, perchance?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 21, 2007, 10:25:25 pm
Quote
Perfectly understandable, padre. Fruitcakes, particularly those soaked in good Jamaica Rum, can do strange things to a man.
By the way, is there any of that Fruitcake left, perchance?

Well of course, let's uncork a fruitcake and enjoy a slice of good cheer...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 23, 2007, 10:03:38 am
  Fruitcakes. So misunderstood.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 23, 2007, 10:10:44 am

You will not find a fruitcake wringing it's hands over what people say about them ......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on January 23, 2007, 11:28:02 am
Hmmm..... Rum and Poppyseed.........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 24, 2007, 03:11:28 pm
Ah, I understand!  Well now we know, fruitcake is such a powerful food it has to be consumed in moderation - like one shots worth at a time padre!  Hey, do we know how many calories there are in fruitcake - there is another reason for moderation.  High calorie food - great for surviving, but not for the couch potato.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 24, 2007, 03:24:10 pm
Oh, BTW padre, if you didn't get too crocked on that fruitcake how about giving us a review?
Taste, texture, quality, aroma, age of fruitcake?  And just how much of that fruitcake did you eat?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kel on January 26, 2007, 09:40:26 pm
I humbly admit that I have also posted in the "twinkies" post. Please forgive my transgression, I am weak.

humbled before your massive eminence

kel
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 26, 2007, 09:46:46 pm
I humbly admit that I have also posted in the "twinkies" post. Please forgive my transgression, I am weak.

humbled before your massive eminence

kel


I have, too. I try to give the twinkie folk a false sense of security.

Shorty
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 26, 2007, 11:16:17 pm

Twinkies are like beautiful summer days, warm and sunny, not a cloud in the sky, gone before you realize it.

Fruitcakes are like old family dogs, often overlooked, but in the end ultimately loyal..
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 28, 2007, 10:24:41 am
Up, up, up and away, thou quaint cake of fruit. That which we call fruitcake would serve us well by any other name.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Jebur27 on January 28, 2007, 07:07:48 pm
Just baked my first fruit cake yesterday. :mellow:  It should be ready in a couple of weeks. :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 28, 2007, 07:11:44 pm
Just baked my first fruit cake yesterday. :mellow:  It should be ready in a couple of weeks. :laugh:

Or a couple of months. Aged Fruitcakes are very special.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on January 28, 2007, 08:18:35 pm
Just baked my first fruit cake yesterday. :mellow:  It should be ready in a couple of weeks. :laugh:

Or a couple of months. Aged Fruitcakes are very special.  :laugh:

Or a couple of years.  Aged Fruitcakes are very special.  :laugh:

Like a good cheddar cheese.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 30, 2007, 09:43:00 am
  Your average fruitcake can keep your tummy full, and keep a smile on your face, as well.  :mellow:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on January 30, 2007, 09:46:57 am
In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
But what is not known,
And now can be shown,
His voyage across the great big lake,
Was really in search of the elusive fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 01, 2007, 05:44:07 pm
Origin and History of the Venerable Fruit Cake
The rest is at:  http://www.ingestandimbibe.com/Articles/fruitcake.html

"Food scholars date fruitcake back to ancient Egypt and the Roman Empire. According to some historians, Egyptian fruitcake was considered an essential food for the afterlife and there are those today who maintain that this is the only thing they are good for. In ancient Rome, raisins, pine nuts and pomegranate seeds were added to barley mash, making the fruitcake not only handy and lethal catapult ammunition, but also hearty compact foodstuff for the long campaigns waged by the conquering Roman legions. Centuries later, during the Middle Ages, preserved fruits, honey and spices were added, bumping the status of fruitcake up from granola bar to decadent dessert.

"Pickled" or "aged" fruitcakes, as their devotees (and there aren’t many) like to call them, have the legendary ability to last a long time. Crusaders were said to have packed cakes into their saddlebags and backpacks, presumably because there were few bakeries along the rocky road (the road, not the ice cream) to the Holy Grail. Panforte, a thin chewy fruitcake originating in Italy more than a thousand years ago and taken on The Crusades, is still made today. The history of fruitcake is also closely related to the European nut harvests of the 1700s. After the harvest, accumulated nuts were mixed and made into a fruitcake that was saved until the following year. At that time, the fruitcake was consumed in the hope that its symbolism would bring the blessing of another successful harvest."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 02, 2007, 08:06:15 pm


How about some chocolate fruitcake?


Title: Chocolate Fruit Cake
Yield: 1

Ingredients

      1    lb. mixed candied fruit
      4    oz. cherries, dried
      4    oz. pineapple, dried
      3 c  golden raisins
      2 c  currants, dried
      1 c  dates, chopped
      1 c  bourbon
      1 c  molasses
      3 c  mixed nuts, chopped
    1/2 c  white sugar
      1 c  brown sugar
      8    eggs
      2 c  flour
    1/2    tsp. baking powder
      1    tbsp. cinnamon
    1/2    tsp. nutmeg
    1/2    tsp. allspice
  1 1/2    oz. unsweetened
           chocolate, melted or
  1 1/2    pkg. choco-bake

Instructions

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In large bowl, combine fruits.
Pour bourbon and molasses over all. Cover; let stand over-
night, then add nuts to fruit mixture. Cream butter with
sugars. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Add chocolate. Add
remaining ingredients to mixture; mix well. Add fruits and
nuts; pour into 2 greased and waxed paper-lined 9 x 5 x 3-inch
pans. Bake for 3 hours. Cool cakes in pans for 1 hour, then
cool on wire racks. Wrap in foil until ready to use.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 04, 2007, 07:30:34 pm
  It is a little known fact that Wagon Trains heading out of St. Louis always had a fruitcake or two in each wagon.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on February 04, 2007, 07:55:58 pm
  It is a little known fact that Wagon Trains heading out of St. Louis always had a fruitcake or two in each wagon.

But they were referred to as "land anchors".

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 05, 2007, 07:45:37 pm
I figured they were hitching to San Francisco to be with a more understanding and sympathetic crowd... but what do I know. :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 05, 2007, 09:55:05 pm
  It is a little known fact that Wagon Trains heading out of St. Louis always had a fruitcake or two in each wagon.

Another little known fact: the Donners did not bring any.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 05, 2007, 09:59:18 pm
  It is a little known fact that Wagon Trains heading out of St. Louis always had a fruitcake or two in each wagon.

Another little known fact: the Donners did not bring any.

Sad, but true.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 05, 2007, 10:11:59 pm
  It is a little known fact that Wagon Trains heading out of St. Louis always had a fruitcake or two in each wagon.

Another little known fact: the Donners did not bring any.

Sad, but true.

Fruitcake stuffing?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Thunder on February 06, 2007, 07:31:00 am
As if we didn't already know this, but fruitcake has a higher approval rating than Bush does.  Granted, stepping in dog crap and getting kicked in the crotch also rank higher than Bush.

Think I'm kidding?

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/02/-things-with-a-28.php
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 06, 2007, 07:36:38 am
Well, that settles it. Fruitcake for President!!!!! Or do I repeat myself.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: prometheus on February 09, 2007, 02:30:37 pm
p
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 09, 2007, 03:22:49 pm
Well, to get back to serious Fruit Cake discussion! :rolleyes:
Thank you padre for the yummy sounding Chocolate Fruit Cake recipe.  I have been  looking - unsuccessfully - for an original recipe from the Crusades era.  I suspect the original Fruit Cakes did not have white sugar, white flour and eggs in them and probably kept better and were better for you.  Has anyone found the original recipe?  A Crusade for the Original Fruitcake Recipe!!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 09, 2007, 05:36:42 pm
Well, to get back to serious Fruit Cake discussion! :rolleyes:
Thank you padre for the yummy sounding Chocolate Fruit Cake recipe.  I have been  looking - unsuccessfully - for an original recipe from the Crusades era.  I suspect the original Fruit Cakes did not have white sugar, white flour and eggs in them and probably kept better and were better for you.  Has anyone found the original recipe?  A Crusade for the Original Fruitcake Recipe!!!

As I recall, the Euros used Honey or sugar beets.

Ahh, here you go:

http://ingestandimbibe.com/Articles/fruitcake.html

Food scholars date fruitcake back to ancient Egypt and the Roman Empire. According to some historians, Egyptian fruitcake was considered an essential food for the afterlife and there are those today who maintain that this is the only thing they are good for. In ancient Rome, raisins, pine nuts and pomegranate seeds were added to barley mash, making the fruitcake not only handy and lethal catapult ammunition, but also hearty compact foodstuff for the long campaigns waged by the conquering Roman legions. Centuries later, during the Middle Ages, preserved fruits, honey and spices were added, bumping the status of fruitcake up from granola bar to decadent dessert.

"Pickled" or "aged" fruitcakes, as their devotees (and there aren’t many) like to call them, have the legendary ability to last a long time. Crusaders were said to have packed cakes into their saddlebags and backpacks, presumably because there were few bakeries along the rocky road (the road, not the ice cream) to the Holy Grail. Panforte, a thin chewy fruitcake originating in Italy more than a thousand years ago and taken on The Crusades, is still made today. The history of fruitcake is also closely related to the European nut harvests of the 1700s. After the harvest, accumulated nuts were mixed and made into a fruitcake that was saved until the following year. At that time, the fruitcake was consumed in the hope that its symbolism would bring the blessing of another successful harvest.

Panforte is the crusade fruitcake....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 09, 2007, 06:23:24 pm
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: padre, are you joking me???
That is exactly what I posted just before your chocolate recipe!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I have found several vague descriptions like this of The Original Fruit Cakes and Panaforte, but no real recipes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 09, 2007, 09:56:32 pm
Of course, we have all known fruitcakes of the non-baked variety. As a matter of fact, I have been called a fruitcake more than once in my life. It is a title I accept with great honor.  :laugh:

Shorty
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Lightning on February 10, 2007, 09:26:42 am
Of course, we have all known fruitcakes of the non-baked variety. As a matter of fact, I have been called a fruitcake more than once in my life. It is a title I accept with great honor.  :laugh:

Shorty

Amen, Brother Fruitcake!  Testify!  :notworthy:

You have hereby earned the Golden, Red and Green Polka-Dotted Velvet Fez of the TCF Fruitcake Preservation Society.  Wear it in good health!  (And by the way, you're leading next week's meeting at the Society lodge.)   :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on February 10, 2007, 03:21:01 pm
For an old-fashioned fruitcake recipe, you might find something here:  http://www.godecookery.com/allrec/allrec02.htm

This Gode Cookery website has been one of my favorites for medieval recipes.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 10, 2007, 06:51:27 pm


Amen, Brother Fruitcake!  Testify!  :notworthy:

You have hereby earned the Golden, Red and Green Polka-Dotted Velvet Fez of the TCF Fruitcake Preservation Society.  Wear it in good health!  (And by the way, you're leading next week's meeting at the Society lodge.)   :laugh:

Um .... I don't know where the Lodge is. Can anyone give me a hint? (I was blindfolded when they brought me.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 11, 2007, 02:36:05 pm
Pagan, Good site for old recipes - I was surprised there were not any for Fruit Cakes! :huh:

Exalted Fruit Cake Dawkins - This IS the Lodge!!!  See you next week!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 11, 2007, 10:43:19 pm

  "It is not commonly known, but some of the first wheels were actually petrified fruitcakes."


I knew a fellow in Maine had one of those little tiny cars Yugo's ?
Tinny rate he had two fruitcakes in his trunk at all times.
One light flour one for survival and one dark flour one as a spare for his Yugo.

My favorite ?
Lots of nuts and even more Rum.
Hey,  I'm a sailor what did you expect ?


Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 11, 2007, 10:47:08 pm

  "It is not commonly known, but some of the first wheels were actually petrified fruitcakes."


I knew a fellow in Maine had one of those little tiny cars Yugo's ?
Tinny rate he had two fruitcakes in his trunk at all times.
One light flour one for survival and one dark flour one as a spare for his Yugo.

My favorite ?
Lots of nuts and even more Rum.
Hey,  I'm a sailor what did you expect ?




Funny thing. I helped a guy change a tire. On Route 95 in Maine. He had a Yugo, and his spare was, ...... you guessed it, fruitcake. Small world, isn't it.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 11, 2007, 11:02:13 pm


Was his name Bert ?

He lives just north of BaaHaaBaa.

Nice guy but he won't share his fruitcake.
I had to go buy my own. The piker.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 11, 2007, 11:06:20 pm


Was his name Bert ?

He lives just north of BaaHaaBaa.

Nice guy but he won't share his fruitcake.
I had to go buy my own. The piker.....

Yep, Bert. Yeh, no fruitcake, but we shared some brown ale.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 11, 2007, 11:11:33 pm
Yah know, come to think of it, it was my brown ale we shared. The piker.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 11, 2007, 11:22:26 pm
He had a funny accent too.
Said his name was Buut.
The tag on his shirt said Bert.

Had a strange dog with him too.

Buut and I ...  was standing by the door to the store and this fellah from Away asked Buut "Does your dog bite ?"
Buut says Noo. So the guy reaches out his hand to pet the dog and the dog takes a good chomp on his hand.
He hollers at Buut "You told me your dog doesn't bite but he bit me."
Buut looked him straight in the eye and "Taint My dog".

Nows I recall that fruitcake was right next to the dog so maybe that dog was only protecting that fruitcake.
I've known'em to do that ...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 13, 2007, 10:53:43 am

6,000 year old fruitcake ? [Egyptian funeral stores]

I understand that fruitcake "should" be aged but that seems excessive to me .....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 15, 2007, 11:45:41 pm

6,000 year old fruitcake ? [Egyptian funeral stores]

I understand that fruitcake "should" be aged but that seems excessive to me .....

Well I didn't do it. I can't seem to let my fruitcake sit for more than a few days before I devour it. Mmmmmm..... tasty.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 16, 2007, 08:28:19 am
"Early one mornin' Buut an I went down to the dock to staat up the Bluebuhd."

Another little known fact - Altho neither Buut, nor I, were Fruit Cakes (well, back then anyways), the Bluebuhd actually ran on Fruit Cakes that Mainers had stored for too long!

Shorty - You really need to work on your instant gratitude problem.  You are losing your Yankee roots. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 16, 2007, 08:41:00 am
ripsnort,
  Ayuh, seems like every time I see one of those delicious little beauties sittin' on the countuh, well, I just cahn't help myself. Gratification is so gratifying, isn't it.

Shorty
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 16, 2007, 12:32:25 pm

My Problem is that once I do cut into the little darlin' it leaves an "exposed" end [or two if circular]
that simply MUST be trimmed to avoid contamination.
Then two hours later...
Horrors ! .... another trim is required.

It's insidious I tell ya....
that contamination is persistent stuff.
{he mumbles with a mouthful of fruitcake....}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 16, 2007, 08:17:49 pm


Recently it has come to my attention that..dare I say it.... there is a recipe to mix two things that should not be...

Kudzu and Fruitcake..

This culinary misogyny exists like some creature from a forgotten time, it is out there, just waiting for some innocent to mix the two.....

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 16, 2007, 10:01:28 pm


Recently it has come to my attention that..dare I say it.... there is a recipe to mix two things that should not be...

Kudzu and Fruitcake..

This culinary misogyny exists like some creature from a forgotten time, it is out there, just waiting for some innocent to mix the two.....



Where did you see it, padre? Sounds like undercover work from the NWO guys. Preposterous, I say! Absolutely preposterous!! You positively mustn't mix kudzu and fruitcake. It just isn't cricket, you know.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 16, 2007, 10:14:29 pm


Recently it has come to my attention that..dare I say it.... there is a recipe to mix two things that should not be...

Kudzu and Fruitcake..

This culinary misogyny exists like some creature from a forgotten time, it is out there, just waiting for some innocent to mix the two.....




Where did you see it, padre? Sounds like undercover work from the NWO guys. Preposterous, I say! Absolutely preposterous!! You positively mustn't mix kudzu and fruitcake. It just isn't cricket, you know.

Something was wrong my "fruitcake sense" was tingling, so a google search found the reason "why"

A cookbook on amazon carries it, I haven't defamed my eyes by reading that recipe, but IT LIVES!

The only thing worse would be a fruitcake and brussel sprout recipe. Every child knows that brussel sprouts are grown on the sulfurous plains of hell specifically to torture them..


(all kidding aside, almost the entire kudzu plant is eatable, so fruitcake and kudzu might carry some poor soul through some really tough times  some really tough times...)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 17, 2007, 07:15:14 am

Quote
This culinary misogyny exists like some creature from a forgotten time, it is out there, just waiting for some innocent to mix the two.....
Or you may just get a doorstop that when placed in the cellar, will first take over the entire house and then your entire region of the country...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 17, 2007, 07:59:31 am
(all kidding aside, almost the entire kudzu plant is eatable, so fruitcake and kudzu might carry some poor soul through some really tough times  some really tough times...)

Really ? Kudzu edible ?
As "greens" ?
Who'd a thunk it ?
Are there recipes ?
This MIGHT actually be useful info for some at some time in the future.

HOWEVER, to sully a recipe for Fruitcake with Any vegetable is a ... a Sacrilege.

Shame on you.

Why the very thought .... {shiver ...}

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 17, 2007, 08:00:26 am
Quote
(all kidding aside, almost the entire kudzu plant is eatable, so fruitcake and kudzu might carry some poor soul through some really tough times  some really tough times...)
Quote

Yeah, but all kidding aside padre, don't put the Kudzu in the Fruit Cake!!!  Kudzu main dish, Fruit Cake desert.
I don't think Shorty or Gooch would be tempted by Kudzu Fruitcake - even if "the little dahlin was sittin' on the countah with exposed edges".
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 17, 2007, 12:45:37 pm
(all kidding aside, almost the entire kudzu plant is eatable, so fruitcake and kudzu might carry some poor soul through some really tough times  some really tough times...)

Really ? Kudzu edible ?
As "greens" ?
Who'd a thunk it ?
Are there recipes ?
This MIGHT actually be useful info for some at some time in the future.

HOWEVER, to sully a recipe for Fruitcake with Any vegetable is a ... a Sacrilege.

Shame on you.

Why the very thought .... {shiver ...}



Hmm perhaps it should be named the Kthulu cake?

Now for the asked for Kudzu recipes:

http://home.att.net/~ejlinton/jelly.html

http://www.nancybasket.com/gpage.html
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 18, 2007, 10:22:39 pm
Quote
(all kidding aside, almost the entire kudzu plant is eatable, so fruitcake and kudzu might carry some poor soul through some really tough times  some really tough times...)
Quote

Yeah, but all kidding aside padre, don't put the Kudzu in the Fruit Cake!!!  Kudzu main dish, Fruit Cake desert.
I don't think Shorty or Gooch would be tempted by Kudzu Fruitcake - even if "the little dahlin was sittin' on the countah with exposed edges".

Nay, pilgrim. Not a morsel of such a travesty would I touch.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 18, 2007, 10:26:58 pm

A kudzucake is a fine meal.......if you are a groundhog....and starving..and it's twenty below...in June....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 19, 2007, 08:55:05 am
   Just a little extra Troll Protection from we Fruitake lovers.  :hello:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 11:12:49 am

Fruitake lovers ?

You help your self ....

I'll stick to Fruitcake myself.

Sheesh, just when ya think ya know somebody .....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Kregener on February 19, 2007, 12:56:40 pm
Sorry, but I see fruitcake as a perfect addition to one's survival preparations. Lets look at some of the possible uses:

Use it to brain rabbits
Hold down map edges in a wind
Sharpening stone
Boat anchor
Paving
Bookend
Fireplace liner
Tire chocks

You only have to look beyond the obvious...

  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 19, 2007, 01:02:14 pm

Fruitake lovers ?

You help your self ....

I'll stick to Fruitcake myself.

Ah, but don't you know that Fruitake is a variety of candied mushroom, much prized by gourmets? Gooch, you're missing out!

However, it's clearly a threadjack to introduce Fruitake in a discussion dedicated to Fruitcake. Shame, shame.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 19, 2007, 01:07:26 pm
Sorry, but I see fruitcake as a perfect addition to one's survival preparations. Lets look at some of the possible uses:
You only have to look beyond the obvious...

Hm ...

Barricade your door with a stack of fruitcakes to keep out marauders
Build a fruitcake wall for concealment (or are fruitcakes dense enough to qualify as cover?)
Weigh down bodies dropped into a lake
Fling at the heads of invading JBTs (while still being plausibly able to persuade the media you weren't armed)
Hide files in them to deliver to friends in prison (no, wait a minute, you'd need a file, or perhaps a splitting maul, to get the file out ...)

You could even, in a really extreme circumstance, actually eat the things.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 01:17:51 pm
Post deleted due to total administrative incompetence. The message was not -- REPEAT, NOT -- a Twinkie-lover's plot. Nor was it the responsibility of the entirely innocent Gooch.

Claire speaking -- though cleverly disguised as someone else.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 01:26:00 pm

You could even, in a really extreme circumstance, actually eat the things.


OK.  That's a gauntlet thrown If ever I saw one.
Prepare yourself Woman.
A True Fruitcake  :notworthy: is in your future.

[One of the truly delicious fruitcakes made for eating not "gifting"]
Do you prefer more fruit to nuts or more nuts to fruit ?
I, personally, prefer the more nuts to fruit variety but Hey that's me.
[more nuts than fruity ...]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 01:39:06 pm
For Real ?
Yeech candied mushrooms? Yeech.
Mushrooms need butter and a saute pan or chopped into a fritata. IMHO
However, I retain my right to be "educated" in this case should "someone" decide to provide said "candied mushrooms". {yeech}

Gooch,

If people will eat

Sheep's eyeballs
Yak blood
Whale blubber
Baby eels
and
... fruitcake

Surely someone out there will eat candied mushrooms, too.



Would someone explain to me how "I" posted something that "I" did not post?

AND

What happened to the post "I" did post?


edit for second question
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 01:45:21 pm
For Real ?
Yeech candied mushrooms? Yeech.
Mushrooms need butter and a saute pan or chopped into a fritata. IMHO
However, I retain my right to be "educated" in this case should "someone" decide to provide said "candied mushrooms". {yeech}

Gooch,

If people will eat

Sheep's eyeballs
Yak blood
Whale blubber
Baby eels
and
... fruitcake

Surely someone out there will eat candied mushrooms, too.



Would someone explain to me how "I" posted something that "I" did not post?

AND

What happened to the post "I" did post?


edit for second question

I had planned on adding this;

http://www.rootsweb.com/~txnavarr/business/collin_street_bakery/index.htm

But now the entire Post is ........

{Is this a Twinkie [ptooie] plot ?}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 19, 2007, 01:51:57 pm
Ohcrap, gooch. Not an Evil Twinkie Plot, but a mea culpa. Sometimes Magical Admin Powers go drastically awry. I meant to hit "quote" on your post. Instead I hit "modify." I have no way of automatically undoing it now. But if you want to repost your original post from memory, I'll delete the mess I made of it. THEN I'll make sure I hit "quote" next time.

See? This is just one more reason why nobody should be trusted with any REAL power. Just think if it had been GWB and the big red button instead of me and the "modify" button ...

Sorry.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on February 19, 2007, 01:54:58 pm
Would fruitcake make an acceptable substitute for ballistic gelatin?

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 19, 2007, 01:55:32 pm
Excellent work special twinkie agent "wolfsbane", Your commendation will be made a part of your permanent secret file. :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 19, 2007, 02:00:20 pm
Excellent work special twinkie agent "wolfsbane", Your commendation will be made a part of your permanent secret file. :ph34r:

OhgodNO! Please, fellow Fruitcake partisans, I SWEAR I'm not a Twinkie mole. I'm on your side. Really I am. Truly. Don't listen to that evil Mr. Dare. He's clearly ... he's ONE OF THEM! After him! After him! Quick, before he escapes to Twinkieland!!!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 19, 2007, 02:07:10 pm
 um ... HEY! Now somebody is messing with MY posts! Thats um... not what I said at all! Yeah, they are uh... twisting my words! I uh... said "shoe for industry" and "Fruitcake Forever!" um... "Comrades" ...I mean "Porgy" yeah that was it! "Shoe's for industry comra...PORGY" Fruitcake forever! Yeah that was it...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 02:15:20 pm
Ohcrap, gooch. Not an Evil Twinkie Plot, but a mea culpa. Sometimes Magical Admin Powers go drastically awry. I meant to hit "quote" on your post. Instead I hit "modify." I have no way of automatically undoing it now. But if you want to repost your original post from memory, I'll delete the mess I made of it. THEN I'll make sure I hit "quote" next time.

See? This is just one more reason why nobody should be trusted with any REAL power. Just think if it had been GWB and the big red button instead of me and the "modify" button ...

Sorry.

I was attempting to explain to Kregener that he obviously was referring to the commercially made faux fruitcake in his post and that I was going to recommend that he try a True Fruitcake  :notworthy: from Collins Street Bakery in Corsicanna, TX.

http://www.rootsweb.com/~txnavarr/business/collin_street_bakery/index.htm

While the commercially made faux fruitcake can be used for the things he mentioned True Fruitcake  :notworthy: is, in fact, a worthy addition to ones survival gear.
No true patriot would think of heading off to the front without a True Fruitcake.  :notworthy:

You might just as well delete the Oops and ...

WAIT ! There he is ... sneaking through the bushes stinking of those    those  {blaat] Things

Halt There   you Knave    stand and submit dastardly knave
Drat, he's slunk away again. Just like them......

Now about that accusation Ms Wolfe or is it Agent Wolfsbane  ?  Hmmmmmmm?

edit: include Collins  link
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Kregener on February 19, 2007, 02:22:26 pm
I am forming the new Administrative Control, Inc.

We will work tirelessly to remove moderator capabilities from everyone except the police and the military.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 02:31:39 pm
I am forming the new Administrative Control, Inc.

We will work tirelessly to remove moderator capabilities from everyone except the police and the military.

ACK ! Not the dreaded ACFYOG*.

{...help help ..... running in circles wringing his hands hiding his Fruitcakes  :notworthy: }







*Administrative Control For Your Own Good.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 19, 2007, 04:20:45 pm
Tsk, tsk!  This is what happens when you eat too much fresh Fruit Cake, espeicially the rum soaked ones with the herbs.  There is a reason Fruit Cakes were put in steel containers and stored in the back of the top shelf or hidden in the basement.

Another little known fact: The orginal Fruit Cake tins were from the time of the crusades and had locks on them.  The key also fit the chastity belt the knight put on the dahlin he was leaving behind.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 19, 2007, 04:34:31 pm
Quote
Tsk, tsk!  This is what happens when you eat too much fresh Fruit Cake, espeicially the rum soaked ones with the herbs.  There is a reason Fruit Cakes were put in steel containers and stored in the back of the top shelf or hidden in the basement.
Sounds suspiciously like what they do with nuclear waste...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 19, 2007, 05:26:54 pm
Quote
Fling at the heads of invading JBTs (while still being plausibly able to persuade the media you weren't armed)

Simply tell the media that the JBT's looked hungry, and that one was being neighborly by trying to feed them with the ballistic mat....err"Tasty and fun holiday treat"

That's the ticket..
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 19, 2007, 08:45:19 pm
Quote
Tsk, tsk!  This is what happens when you eat too much fresh Fruit Cake, espeicially the rum soaked ones with the herbs.  There is a reason Fruit Cakes were put in steel containers and stored in the back of the top shelf or hidden in the basement.
Sounds suspiciously like what they do with nuclear waste...

Dare, That stuff is dangerous for over a 100,000 years, so they just put it in big casks that they think will last 100 years, and they leave them out in the open.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 19, 2007, 09:47:27 pm

Fruitake lovers ?

You help your self ....

I'll stick to Fruitcake myself.

Ah, but don't you know that Fruitake is a variety of candied mushroom, much prized by gourmets? Gooch, you're missing out!

However, it's clearly a threadjack to introduce Fruitake in a discussion dedicated to Fruitcake. Shame, shame.

Um, ..... I was just testing you. Yeh, that's what it was, testing your powes of observation.

(I can't believe I ate the whole thing. ..... burp!.... ah! I'm better now.)
(I can see Gooch asking: Better than what, Shorty?)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 19, 2007, 09:55:48 pm
um ... HEY! Now somebody is messing with MY posts! Thats um... not what I said at all! Yeah, they are uh... twisting my words! I uh... said "shoe for industry" and "Fruitcake Forever!" um... "Comrades" ...I mean "Porgy" yeah that was it! "Shoe's for industry comra...PORGY" Fruitcake forever! Yeah that was it...


Special Agent Dawkins of the FCI, here. (That's Fruitcake Intelligence, a real oxymoron if I ever heard one.)
Drop your Fruitcake, Dare. How dare you, Dare! As punishment, you shall refrain from eating rum-soaked Fruitcake for twenty minutes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 11:01:02 pm

Fruitake lovers ?

You help your self ....

I'll stick to Fruitcake myself.

Ah, but don't you know that Fruitake is a variety of candied mushroom, much prized by gourmets? Gooch, you're missing out!

However, it's clearly a threadjack to introduce Fruitake in a discussion dedicated to Fruitcake. Shame, shame.

Um, ..... I was just testing you. Yeh, that's what it was, testing your powes of observation.

(I can't believe I ate the whole thing. ..... burp!.... ah! I'm better now.)
(I can see Gooch asking: Better than what, Shorty?)

Hmmm ....  Opinion withheld pending further developments......

My "powes of observation" are observing something   ... not sure just what yet.

um ... HEY! Now somebody is messing with MY posts! Thats um... not what I said at all! Yeah, they are uh... twisting my words! I uh... said "shoe for industry" and "Fruitcake Forever!" um... "Comrades" ...I mean "Porgy" yeah that was it! "Shoe's for industry comra...PORGY" Fruitcake forever! Yeah that was it...


Special Agent Dawkins of the FCI, here. (That's Fruitcake Intelligence, a real oxymoron if I ever heard one.)
Drop your Fruitcake, Dare. How dare you, Dare! As punishment, you shall refrain from eating rum-soaked Fruitcake for twenty minutes.

TWENTY MINUTES ! Yikes, that's ... that's inhuman Shorty.  Surely you can be a little more lenient. It was after all his first conviction of err attempt at infiltration?
Or have I missed something in his "record" ?
Sheesh, I must be getting "soft" in my dotterage.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 19, 2007, 11:06:50 pm
Your powes are still sharp, gooch.

Maybe I was too hard on Mr. Dare. I mean ... twenty whole minutes.... sentenced reduced to time served. Now, let's dig in to some of gooch's really good fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2007, 11:15:07 pm

Oooo I knew you were planning something Shorty Dawkins.
MY Fruitcake In Deed. Harummph.

Now I see your nefarious plot for what it is. A brazen attempt to make a run at my jealously guarded err  umm
wisely set aside supply of True Fruitcake.  :notworthy:

It won't work I tell ya. 
Now IF You bring that good homemade rotgut err brown ale and we'll talk about this shall we ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 19, 2007, 11:24:26 pm

Oooo I knew you were planning something Shorty Dawkins.
MY Fruitcake In Deed. Harummph.

Now I see your nefarious plot for what it is. A brazen attempt to make a run at my jealously guarded err  umm
wisely set aside supply of True Fruitcake.  :notworthy:

It won't work I tell ya. 
Now IF You bring that good homemade rotgut err brown ale and we'll talk about this shall we ?

Curses! I've been found out. You're a sharp one, indeed, Mr. Gooch.
Brown ale, huh? (I'm thinking.) For good fruitcake? (ooh! Tough one!) Yeh, but it's fruitcake, dummy. Gooch's GOOD fruitcake! Hello? Anybody in that pea brain of yours Shorty? (Yeh, but he wants some of my good brown ale.)

So, was that good fruitcake for good brown ale? Such a deal.
Good trade, Gooch. Dammn you drive a hard bargain.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 21, 2007, 09:17:28 pm
Does anyone care to speculate whether free Fruit Cake would entice padre and Shorty into continuing their short stories?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 21, 2007, 09:22:02 pm

You heard the man Shorty.

Here take this li'l heel slice with you.
And thanks for the {urrp} brown ale.
 
padre ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 21, 2007, 09:31:30 pm


I'll take a pass on the brown ale, tee totaling at the moment.

Have to keep my wits about while I infiltrate the Twinkie Clan.... :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 21, 2007, 09:34:32 pm

You heard the man Shorty.

Here take this li'l heel slice with you.
And thanks for the {urrp} brown ale.
 
padre ?

Thanks for the Fruitcake, gooch. (licks fingers, pats stomach)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 21, 2007, 10:34:12 pm

Here take this li'l heel slice with you.

A heel on a Fruit Cake???
Oh, does eFruit Cake have heels?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 21, 2007, 11:49:14 pm
A heel on a Fruit Cake???
Oh, does eFruit Cake have heels?


Your question, sir, brands you as a novice baker and as penance you should bake at least two True Fruitcakes. :notworthy:  :notworthy:

Recipes may be found within this thread. 

TRUE FRUITCAKE  :notworthy: is not wheel shaped.

That  form was invented by a {dare I say it ?  no best not ...} someone other than a true believer.
My personal opinion is that there were made some round Fruitcakes from leftovers to fill out some cookie tins that were laying around and through some twisted perversion they were mailed as Christmas presents.  To this day the cowardly knave that sent them out won't admit his crime.

Most Homemade Fruitcake  :notworthy:  is loaf-of-bread shaped. OR MORE CORRECTLY Fruitcake pans were used to make that much inferior other baked good. Bread. {Although Some homemade whole wheat breads do very nearly attain the status of FOOD. Although none even approach the status of Survival Staple that True Fruitcake  :notworthy: enjoys}
Historical Note: The Original True Fruitcake  :notworthy:  is thought to have been pancake shaped. Although it's pretty clear that pancakes were a poor imitation of the Original True Fruitcake .  :notworthy:

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 22, 2007, 08:37:14 pm
Quote

Your question, sir, brands you as a novice baker and as penance you should bake at least two True Fruitcakes. :notworthy:  :notworthy:

Recipes may be found within this thread. 

TRUE FRUITCAKE  :notworthy: is not wheel shaped.
Quote

I admit to being less than a novice Fruit Cake baker.  I have never, alas, baked a Fruit Cake - I still search for an original recipe.  Blind I am to the recipes in this post.  As for the undocumented claim of Fruit Cakes not being round, HERESY YOU KNAVE!!!  The hole in the middle where the alcholic beverages were poured in and allowed to soak in.

Thank you Shorty for another installment.  Have another slice off the exposed edge of this dahlin.  And padre, one for you too?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 22, 2007, 08:43:26 pm


I'll have another piece, just pass the philly spreadable cream cheese (strawberry flavor if you please).

Brewing some coffee to go along with my philly fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 22, 2007, 10:20:14 pm
What about a nice, single malt Scotch, for after dinner.

Coffee was good, padre.  :laugh:

ripsnort, thanks for the second helping.

Damn, Fruitcake, cream cheese, coffee, brown ale and single malt Scotch all with good folk. It doesn't get any better, does it?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 22, 2007, 10:51:56 pm
What about a nice, single malt Scotch, for after dinner.

Coffee was good, padre.  :laugh:

ripsnort, thanks for the second helping.

Damn, Fruitcake, cream cheese, coffee, brown ale and single malt Scotch all with good folk. It doesn't get any better, does it?

It all sounds so...British.... :laugh:

To make it Scottish, we need some hagis and some fried sausage balls.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 23, 2007, 11:05:57 am
Quote

Your question, sir, brands you as a novice baker and as penance you should bake at least two True Fruitcakes. :notworthy:  :notworthy:

Recipes may be found within this thread. 

TRUE FRUITCAKE  :notworthy: is not wheel shaped.
Quote

I admit to being less than a novice Fruit Cake baker.  I have never, alas, baked a Fruit Cake - I still search for an original recipe.  Blind I am to the recipes in this post.  As for the undocumented claim of Fruit Cakes not being round, HERESY YOU KNAVE!!!  The hole in the middle where the alcholic beverages were poured in and allowed to soak in.

Thank you Shorty for another installment.  Have another slice off the exposed edge of this dahlin.  And padre, one for you too?

DRAT !

Why does my pewter keep removing my {T I C} "smiley" ?

Quote:
"The hole in the middle where the alcoholic beverages were poured in and allowed to soak in."

Interesting "theory" [with mayhap some historical precedent] However, My understanding [Occasionally misguided ? Hmmm ... True] ,
is that the alcoholic beverage was poured Over the entire "cake" before and after baking. [Before for flavoring and after to "replenish" the alcoholic content evaporated in the baking process and as a "preservative"]

Historian Fussitarians; Please feel free to add comment on this "Original Configuration discussion".

The following message is in "Fruitcake Code" to frustrate any "snoops" or "spies" from that Pretend Food thread.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
ripsnort,

The "novice" comment was meant entirely "in fun" and I do freely admit to being a novice Novice Baker myself.
No oven at all in my current abode ......
Apologies for any insult or injury, real or imagined, is herewith extended.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
End coded message

The cream cheese was an excellent addition padre. Yummy
Coffee wasn't bad either. 'specially after adding a little sweetener [good dark rum] .

Well, being of Welsh stock I would prefer a good rarebit and have to admit to not having tried haggis in my Entire.
Have you got one in the oven there padre ?

Sheesh with all this snacking I'd better get back to my sorting or I'll outgrow these carhartts.

Later gents
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 24, 2007, 11:27:08 am
PM to gooch
    It seems that we have found yet another use for Fruit Cake!!!
It is an elixer for authors.  A couple slices of Fruit Cake and look what they are turning out!!!
An' they are survival stories yet!
Let's just keep one of the little dahlins on the sideboard with its edges seductively exposed right where they can get at it whenever they pass by.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 24, 2007, 11:31:58 am
PM to gooch
    It seems that we have found yet another use for Fruit Cake!!!
It is an elixer for authors.  A couple slices of Fruit Cake and look what they are turning out!!!
An' they are survival stories yet!
Let's just keep one of the little dahlins on the sideboard with its edges seductively exposed right where they can get at it whenever they pass by.

Ah, but authors do not live on Fruitcake alone.
Love and adoration help.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 24, 2007, 02:13:38 pm
PM to gooch
    It seems that we have found yet another use for Fruit Cake!!!
It is an elixer for authors.  A couple slices of Fruit Cake and look what they are turning out!!!
An' they are survival stories yet!
Let's just keep one of the little dahlins on the sideboard with its edges seductively exposed right where they can get at it whenever they pass by.

Hmmm Say what ?

{toweling his head off ....}

When you got to "seductively exposed" I had to go take a COLD shower.


Shorty
Love and adoration ?
On Fruitcake  :notworthy: ?
OK if you say so ....
I'm occasionally into Kinky .....
Seems an awful disrespectful use of the Ultimate Survival Food to me 'tho'.
Now all I need is a willing Female accomplice.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 25, 2007, 03:21:48 pm
Gooch, a woman once told me that women love men who love fruitcake. I kid you not.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 25, 2007, 07:44:11 pm
OOPS, I thought I had PMed not posted! :huh:
And OOPS, I forgot to put out the philly spreadable cream cheese so here it is.
I still have not had time to decifer the Fruitcake Code.
Gooch, don't take a cold shower, just slice another piece off.
           but leave plenty for padre and Shorty as a show of our love and adoration
                                                                                         (doce rof xent gapes)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 25, 2007, 08:16:54 pm
OOPS, I thought I had PMed not posted! :huh:
And OOPS, I forgot to put out the philly spreadable cream cheese so here it is.
I still have not had time to decifer the Fruitcake Code.
Gooch, don't take a cold shower, just slice another piece off.
           but leave plenty for padre and Shorty as a show of our love and adoration
                                                                                         (doce rof xent gapes)

Have you noticed how goofy we Fruitcake officiandos tend to be. Is it something we ate, do you think?
Ripsnort, Love cream cheese on Fruitcake.
Padre, have another coffee.
Gooch, here's another brown ale.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 25, 2007, 08:39:38 pm

Alll Riiight Shorty

I'm gonna have to lay off the suds for a while these britches are shrinking again......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 25, 2007, 08:46:36 pm

Alll Riiight Shorty

I'm gonna have to lay off the suds for a while these britches are shrinking again......

You need to try the new Fruit of the Cake britches. They expand as needed.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 25, 2007, 09:34:34 pm


Would Scotty have used Fruitcake instead of Dilitium crystals if he had a choice between the two?

Cap'n I'd love to transport you back up but I ate all the fruitcake after my last bottle of scotch spilled on it..

Try doing that with a dilithium crystal......

(A bit late in the evening for Coffee Shorty, Diet Sprite for me tonight...)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 25, 2007, 09:40:33 pm


Would Scotty have used Fruitcake instead of Dilitium crystals if he had a choice between the two?

Cap'n I'd love to transport you back up but I ate all the fruitcake after my last bottle of scotch spilled on it..

Try doing that with a dilithium crystal......

(A bit late in the evening for Coffee Shorty, Diet Sprite for me tonight...)

"I'm givin' 'er all the Fruitcake I can, Captain!"  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on February 26, 2007, 09:31:28 am
Ahhh... but the entire Star Trek series was powered by Twinkies! Lol
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 26, 2007, 05:26:39 pm
Ahhh... but the entire Star Trek series was powered by Twinkies! Lol

Can't be twinkies violate the prime directive:

Eat more Fruitcake.... :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 26, 2007, 06:48:57 pm
Ahhh... but the entire Star Trek series was powered by Twinkies! Lol

Can't be twinkies violate the prime directive:

Eat more Fruitcake.... :laugh:

Not to threadjack, but surely every ancap and libertarian here must have noticed that in every plot of every Star Trek episode Our Federated Heroes violated the prime directive (whatever it actually may have been).

Not sure about that actual eating of fruitcake. But how 'bout the corollary to the prime directive (would that make it the sub-prime directive?): Talk about more fruitcake.

It just isn't right, not right at all, that some twinkie-come-lately is so far ahead of the Noble and Historic Fruitcake in TCFspace.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Not a TMM member on February 26, 2007, 06:59:45 pm
A
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 26, 2007, 07:40:20 pm
Actually fruitcake was the "anti matter" used in the drive for all Star Fleet interstellar vessels.
It violates nothing but the laws of physics.
And really, what are those worth anyway?

That "anti-matter" [ Fruitcake   :notworthy:  ]  was the basis for the "shields" that protected the Enterprise.
It will become a well known fact [ in our spacefaring future ala Star Trek ] that Fruitcake under immense pressures and spun at near light speeds will produce a "repellent field" [ which will be called a "shield" ] that can be manipulated by varying the pressure gradients.
Not for the feint of heart.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 26, 2007, 08:41:22 pm
Ahhh... but the entire Star Trek series was powered by Twinkies! Lol

Can't be twinkies violate the prime directive:

Eat more Fruitcake.... :laugh:

Not to threadjack, but surely every ancap and libertarian here must have noticed that in every plot of every Star Trek episode Our Federated Heroes violated the prime directive (whatever it actually may have been).

Not sure about that actual eating of fruitcake. But how 'bout the corollary to the prime directive (would that make it the sub-prime directive?): Talk about more fruitcake.

It just isn't right, not right at all, that some twinkie-come-lately is so far ahead of the Noble and Historic Fruitcake in TCFspace.

That is because the purity of the fruitcake has been tampered with in the fruitcake and twinkie time space continuum, in all actuality fruitcake is from an advanced civilization that existed only as blip in a qwerk that formed so long ago that time is useless in trying to describe the gap between their time and our time.

Fruitcake renders the prime directive meaningless, as fruitcake exists in several different dimensions simultaneously, besides, twinkies are always misspelled according to the TCF spellchecker, further proof that they are not fit for Vulcan consumption.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on February 26, 2007, 08:56:09 pm
padre said: 
"That is because the purity of the fruitcake has been tampered with in the fruitcake and twinkie time space continuum, in all actuality fruitcake is from an advanced civilization that existed only as blip in a qwerk that formed so long ago that time is useless in trying to describe the gap between their time and our time."

So does this mean that Fruit Cake is actually much older than we have previously suspected?? 
How will I ever be able to find the original recipe???
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on February 26, 2007, 08:58:51 pm
It will become a well known fact [ in our spacefaring future ala Star Trek ] that Fruitcake under immense pressures and spun at near light speeds will produce a "repellent field"

I got news for ya, gooch. It's already a well-known fact that fruitcake, merely sitting on a table in its tin, produces a very powerful "repellent field." Of course, this could possibly be viewed as evidence of the truth of your theory.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 26, 2007, 09:24:45 pm
It will become a well known fact [ in our spacefaring future ala Star Trek ] that Fruitcake under immense pressures and spun at near light speeds will produce a "repellent field"

I got news for ya, gooch. It's already a well-known fact that fruitcake, merely sitting on a table in its tin, produces a very powerful "repellent field." Of course, this could possibly be viewed as evidence of the truth of your theory.

You didn't accidentally put it on a "lazy-susan" did you ?

This could be very bad folks ....

Where did I put my tin-foil hat ....? ?

{ P S = How's Frosty doing ?}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on February 26, 2007, 10:45:07 pm
 I, for one, would like to know why folks are always calling Susan Lazy. I have know her for many years to be hard-working and loyal. Also, very fond of Fruitcake. Susan can turn on a dime, and give you nine cents change. She can reverse direction at will, and can place in reach any of the ingredients of Real Fruitcake.

 Hail to Susan! Hail to Fruitcake! Have some coffee, and pass the cream cheese.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 01, 2007, 10:44:17 am
Can't let a valuable thread like this one fall too far down the list. :hello:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on March 01, 2007, 10:47:00 am
No, someone might get hurt... Don't forget "It's for the CHILDREN."
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 01, 2007, 10:52:32 am


French toast fruitcake anyone?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on March 01, 2007, 02:37:51 pm


French toast fruitcake anyone?

Desecration!!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 01, 2007, 02:39:46 pm


French toast fruitcake anyone?

Desecration!!!

That is if we were using the "old" fruitcake recipe, this is a new fruitcake recipe.......

Quote
fruitcake 'facon pain perdu' (french toast) served warm with vanilla ice cream.


link: http://www.chowhound.com/topics/339805

where real Fruitcakelovers gather...... :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 05, 2007, 09:47:42 pm
  I can't believe how far down this thread slipped. Horrors!

  "I regret to say I have but one fruitcake to give to the revolution." (The rest are mine.  :ph34r:)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 05, 2007, 10:08:29 pm


Fruitcake, it does a body good.

Few people know that Albert einstein was an avid fruitcaker, he theorized that if a fruitcake gained weight exponentially, in two days it would fall to the center of the earth causing a shift in the magnetic field of the earth,
causing the polar ice caps to shift position, allowing him to ice skate in September.

I read that in wiki......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 05, 2007, 10:13:40 pm
I've never seen a fruitcake as light as a Twinkie. Fruitcake sticks to your ribs. Mountain men were known to be avid fruitcake eaters.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 05, 2007, 11:31:35 pm

All except for Jeremiah Johnson.
He had some kind of problem where he wound up eating a lot of Crow.
It must have been something he said ?
If he had stuck with Fruitcake  :notworthy:  He wouldn't have had that problem I bet ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 13, 2007, 08:38:05 am
  For all the newbies, the "real secrets" of the revolution are found in the mysteries of the Fruit cake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on March 13, 2007, 04:16:31 pm
OK, I'll tell the real story.  When a fruit cake is made using the original recipe and that fruit cake is well aged then partaking of it is the fastest way to true understanding and enlightenment and long life.  The longer the fruit cake was aged the faster and deeper the enlightenment and longer the life.  When the crusaders left on their long jouney we know they carryed fruit cakes.  What is not known is that along the way they buried some of their fruitcakes for the return journey.  Many of them did not return and their fruit cakes are still there.  They are akin to the holy grail.  A small number of us has been searching for them.  There have been many bizzare and dangerous adventures in the search for the Tombs of the Lost Fruitcakes.  That's as much as I can tell you now. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 13, 2007, 04:26:00 pm


Did the plaid monk try and stop you from finding the secret again Ripsnort?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on March 13, 2007, 05:34:00 pm
When a fruit cake is made using the original recipe and that fruit cake is well aged then partaking of it is the fastest way to true understanding and enlightenment and long life.  The longer the fruit cake was aged the faster and deeper the enlightenment and longer the life.

I ate a cinnamon/raisin bagel like that once.... whew!

Kent
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on March 13, 2007, 08:01:11 pm
OK, I'll tell the real story.  When a fruit cake is made using the original recipe and that fruit cake is well aged then partaking of it is the fastest way to true understanding and enlightenment and long life.  The longer the fruit cake was aged the faster and deeper the enlightenment and longer the life.  When the crusaders left on their long jouney we know they carryed fruit cakes.  ...  There have been many bizzare and dangerous adventures in the search for the Tombs of the Lost Fruitcakes.  That's as much as I can tell you now. 

A fascinating tale, ripsnort. And of course I don't doubt a word of it. But ... er, if the Crusaders are examples of what true understanding and enlightenment do to a person, then I hope those Tombs of the Lost Fruitcakes remain lost. Forever.

OTOH, given known similarities between Crusaders and Certain Others ... is it possible those tombs have already been discovered and their contents transported to a secret location in Washington, DC?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on March 13, 2007, 08:03:10 pm
Hey, I just started Fruitcake Page 20!

(Not that we devotees of the True Fruitcake have to resort to padding our threads with spurious page-count posts like fans of a certain lesser type of cake ...)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: merlin419 on March 14, 2007, 09:45:10 pm
Maybe so but as long as the Fruitcake Fairy is 5' tall, 300 lbs, doesn't shave or bathe.  Now the Twinkie fairy is much nicer and better looking. feralfae.  :rolleyes:


besides given my choice I prefer Rumcake to both.

edit for spelling.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 14, 2007, 09:56:09 pm
   The truth is, that the Crusaders were on a Crusade to have their Fruitcakes blessed by the Priests of the Ancient Order Of Fruitcake. The y couldn't find them, and in a fit of anger attacked Jerusalem.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 14, 2007, 11:00:06 pm

The knights who say neep were on a quest for fruitcake......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: merlin419 on March 15, 2007, 10:10:26 am
Still sounds like Gypsis in the Palace to me.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 16, 2007, 10:25:31 pm
   There was a Gypsy who snuck into the Palace looking for Royal Fruitcake. He took one bite of it and realized it was not True Fruitcake. He lost all respect for Royalty and became an anarchist.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 16, 2007, 10:36:34 pm


Romani lived on fruitcake when the czars would try and tax them....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on March 17, 2007, 10:13:59 am
The Tunguska explosion happened when someone tried to add just a little too much vodka to the new fruitcake recipe that they were creating in their remote Siberian cabin.  If you look, many, if not most, historical events are fruitcake connected.  It is the Fruitcake Conspiracy.  We "Fruitcakes" know the true score, though.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: merlin419 on March 17, 2007, 10:23:26 am
I've wondered why this thread hasn't been moved to the Gulching board..just a thought.

If you collect enough fruit cakes could you use them like bricks to build protection against projectiles to help your gulch to survive straw bullets?  :huh:

Would the bullets bounce off or be absorbed by the fruitcake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 18, 2007, 11:23:55 am

Would the bullets bounce off or be absorbed by the fruitcake?

It depends on the age of the Fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 18, 2007, 12:03:50 pm
The Tunguska explosion happened when someone tried to add just a little too much vodka to the new fruitcake recipe that they were creating in their remote Siberian cabin.  If you look, many, if not most, historical events are fruitcake connected.  It is the Fruitcake Conspiracy.  We "Fruitcakes" know the true score, though.

A maneuver known as the "doomkov maneuver" from that day forward.
The precautionary tactic now employed is to "pour-sip-pour-sip".  Using this technique IF one does actually reach the "doomkov" threshold then the last act of ones existence would be of "sipping/toasting" FAREWELL to ones derrière.
Most liquors made from grain {or the ideal = sugar cane} do not cause this reaction on contact with aged Fruitcake.  :notworthy:
This may be the reason for {beginning of ?} the old wives tale about not mixing vegetables and fruits in the same dish?

A little known fact concerning the "Surrender" by Gen. Lee was the return of the Atlanta Fruitcake Stores taken by Sherman in his Campaign of Destruction.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on March 18, 2007, 02:08:08 pm
OK, I'll tell the real story.  When a fruit cake is made using the original recipe and that fruit cake is well aged then partaking of it is the fastest way to true understanding and enlightenment and long life.  The longer the fruit cake was aged the faster and deeper the enlightenment and longer the life.  When the crusaders left on their long jouney we know they carryed fruit cakes.  ...  There have been many bizzare and dangerous adventures in the search for the Tombs of the Lost Fruitcakes.  That's as much as I can tell you now. 

A fascinating tale, ripsnort. And of course I don't doubt a word of it. But ... er, if the Crusaders are examples of what true understanding and enlightenment do to a person, then I hope those Tombs of the Lost Fruitcakes remain lost. Forever.
OTOH, given known similarities between Crusaders and Certain Others ... is it possible those tombs have already been discovered and their contents transported to a secret location in Washington, DC?

Ah!! Salutations Esteemed Alfa Claire!!
   If I might further and humbly clairefy my prior remarks.  The crusaders were only the carriers, whose unknowing job was to hide the fruitcakes in an arid climate where they could age to perfect full potency, forgotten, except in the now ancient texts. Like the Hidden Falls on the Tsangpo, myth turns out to be reality!
  The only Fruit Cakes that the Crusaders ate were not aged enough to benefit them and the (small case) fruit cakes in Washington (the philosophical descendents of the Crusaders) have just begun to hear rumors of the long hidden Fruit Cakes, but since they couldn't find the WMDs I doubt they will find the Fruit Cakes of Enlightenment.  However it has been a matter of great discussion and debate how they would react to ingesting one.  I must humbly refrain from saying more
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 20, 2007, 08:05:53 pm
Has anyone gotten fat eatting Fruit Cake?

I don't think anyone has ever tried to get fat eating fruitcake...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 22, 2007, 01:37:55 pm
  The only Fruit Cakes that the Crusaders ate were not aged enough to benefit them ...

Except for the POSSIBILITY that the Knights Templar MIGHT have gotten into the Fruit Cake shipment causing the near complete turn-around of their politics and all the subsequent brou-ha-ha about their "Secrets" and "Treasures" etc.

Did you ever notice that MOST castles and keeps resemble Fruit Cakes ? {When viewed from above}
Coincidence ?   
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 27, 2007, 10:05:06 pm
   Ah! Now were into Fruitcake Conspiracies, huh? Well, I've seen a secret dossier that says that Napolean at a special fruitcake with his right hand, which left a permanent stain on it, hence his hiding it in his coat.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 27, 2007, 10:14:21 pm


There exists a parallel dimension in which Fruitcake roams wild and free, unfortunately in the winter a plane shift occurs and otherwise happy and innocent fruitcakes are mistaken for the kind that are baked in ovens.

Normally though, the fruitcakes that find themselves out of time, normally exist for several years in this dimension traveling from home to home in a strange regifting ceremony...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 31, 2007, 03:35:19 pm
Has anyone gotten fat eatting Fruit Cake?

I intend to try. [ with a B'Day Fruit Cake*]
I consider it my duty to put an end to this rumor that "Fruit Cake makes one fat...." .












*A Fruit Cake sans candles. Fire Prevention don't ya know.
Why a Fruit Cake with as many candles as I would require would create a "heat column" large enough to alter the local weather pattern.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 31, 2007, 04:22:25 pm
  Happy B'Day gooch!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 31, 2007, 04:25:13 pm

[sip munch swallow]

Thanks Shorty
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: the small one on March 31, 2007, 10:06:31 pm
Many happy returns of the day, Captain!  May there always be a breeze in your sails and a slice of fruitcake in your pocket!   :laugh:

 :wav:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on March 31, 2007, 11:40:07 pm
Uh, don't put too much fruit cake in your pocket.  Go overboard and it can drag you down!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: merlin419 on April 01, 2007, 03:43:49 pm
Isn't it against International Maritime Law to have a fruitcake on board a vessel? I thought the stated that only Rumcakes were allowed at sea.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 02, 2007, 12:16:14 am

Ahem ...
Rumcake is Fruit Cake.
Well OK  some people make theirs without fruit but really what's that about ?

Thanks for all the kind wishes..... IF I'd known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself. :rolleyes: 

[How 'bout wishin' me wealthy instead of so darned good lookin' ?   :rolleyes: ]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on April 03, 2007, 02:30:14 am
denotify
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 11, 2007, 02:12:12 pm
   Ah! Now were into Fruitcake Conspiracies, huh? Well, I've seen a secret dossier that says that Napolean at a special fruitcake with his right hand, which left a permanent stain on it, hence his hiding it in his coat.

And here I thought that he had a couple of slices of Fruit Cake under his coat and was keeping them warm with his hand.
Hmmm .....
Doesn't he seem a little "chunky" in the mid-section to you? Is it just me ?
I guess I'd better restudy my history.





Hey All  ... a whole week ?
We might need to set up some sort of "check the oven" [check the board ?] "watch"  ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on April 11, 2007, 02:23:36 pm


A whole week? Bahh in fruitcake time that is like 10 minutes, I would bet that Napolean's fruitcake was not only still edible today, but the Louis the 14th cognac was still potent........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 14, 2007, 01:27:48 pm

Oooo  .....Oooo ....Pour me some ?

Kog Nack is one of my favorites.
Right after Rum of course ... :rolleyes:

Fruit Cake with Con Yack on it and in a snifter beside it .... Aaaahhh
This is more like it ...........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on April 21, 2007, 06:53:08 pm


The VT shooter was nuttier than a fruit cake, he may have just asked the fruitcake if it was mocking him, then shot it, then asked the wounded fruitcake to marry him.

He was beyond fruitcake's help.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: TooTallDawkins on April 25, 2007, 10:55:38 am
  Ah! The magic healing powers of fruitcake. Bless this day our daily fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on April 25, 2007, 05:48:03 pm


Fruit cake, names may change, but fruitcake is eternal and unchangeable........

Have some Fruit cake Stranger Too Tall....you seem like and old friend that I have met before.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 29, 2007, 07:24:52 pm

Welcome TooTall

Any chance you're from "down east" ?
Don't they make some pretty good fruit cake down east ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 07, 2007, 11:37:58 pm
Fruit Cake   :notworthy:

In spite of the reckless attempt on my life by a twinkies eater [he must have been nobody would attack a pickup truck with fruit cakes in it would they ?] I have survived and am glad to report that my mission to acquire a fruit cake for our fearless head mistress is a success. (  http://thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=13972  )
I stopped in at the Collins Street Bakery while I was in Corsicanna and picked up a Deluxe and a Blonde.

No Really

That's what they call their fruit cake that doesn't have all of that candied fruit in it. The fruit and nuts are in it but not candied.
[My personal favorite .... as IF anybody cared ....]

http://www.collinstreet.com/

I think the Blonde is also called an 801.

g
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 19, 2007, 04:19:51 pm

OK so I didn't get one for everybody.  Sheesh,  is that any reason to wander off ?

I think I'd better go cut me another slice and pour a glass of green tea to go with it.
Here's the link to their store ;
http://www.collinstreet.com/

I'll be here hanging out  ...
munching ...











waiting  ........













{long sigh ...}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: turnipgirl on May 20, 2007, 03:39:26 am
You are probably right.
But man they are gross.
I've eaten some pretty wild shit but fruitcake just puts a knot in my gorge.

store bought nastiness true is gross- aahhhh but real fruitcake with fruit preserved in REAL sugar-  dolce!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on May 20, 2007, 08:23:21 am
You are probably right.
But man they are gross.
I've eaten some pretty wild shit but fruitcake just puts a knot in my gorge.

store bought nastiness true is gross- aahhhh but real fruitcake with fruit preserved in REAL sugar-  dolce!!

Yeah, that modern imitation stuff is nasty.
But weren't the original ones were made with honey?
And preseved with liquor.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Tahn L. on May 21, 2007, 11:26:29 am
Thanks Gooch,


 I just ordered two.    Can't wait.

   Tahn
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Tahn L. on May 30, 2007, 12:29:09 pm
I received a notice in my mail box that I had a package too large to deliver. Knowing what it was, I had the distinct pleasure of walking into my small local Post Office and loudly exclaiming "I understand that you have a couple of fruit cakes here".

 After a short, eye widening silence, they handed me the box, which I opened. They all seemed relieved that I had actually ordered fruit cakes instead of just being "politically incorrect".   What fun.

 I have yet to taste them. They have a "lot" of sugar and corn syrup. I may keep these for an actual "emergency". Does anyone know of an "organic" baker of this neat stuff?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 31, 2007, 07:19:42 pm
I received a notice in my mail box that I had a package too large to deliver. Knowing what it was, I had the distinct pleasure of walking into my small local Post Office and loudly exclaiming "I understand that you have a couple of fruit cakes here".

 After a short, eye widening silence, they handed me the box, which I opened. They all seemed relieved that I had actually ordered fruit cakes instead of just being "politically incorrect".   What fun.

 I have yet to taste them. They have a "lot" of sugar and corn syrup. I may keep these for an actual "emergency". Does anyone know of an "organic" baker of this neat stuff?

Pretty bold behavior for in the Post Office isn't it ?
I'd hate to hear of someone going "postal" on you for just a rhetorical "joke".

I can only wish that someone would cut the profit margin and use real sugar all the way through BUT alas I fear that bottom-line-profit-blindness has nearly ruined our commercial food supply.

It says on the info for nutrition that the usual dose  err  um portion is 1/8 th of the cake.
Whew that would set me down for the rest of the evening.
I cut them into 32 nds and TRY  to limit myself to only two per setting.  Even then they don't seem to last very long at my house.
Do you think it Might be the lack of humidity ?
Do I need to turn off my A/C unit ?
Maybe I need to consider getting a humidifier ?
[In south central Texas ?  :rolleyes:]

Restraint ?  What is this restraint stuff everybody keeps harping on ....?
Wait, is it the thing that keeps me from digging into the two fruitcakes I purchased for someone we all know ?
{well most of us tinny rate}
I really do need to get those into the delivery pipeline before my "restraint" gets bent.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Paraibo on June 05, 2007, 07:38:44 pm
Fruitcake.   :puke:

Did you know that somewhere there is a petrified fruitcake forest where all the fruitcakes ever made go to live after Christmas?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 05, 2007, 08:32:27 pm
Fruitcake.   :puke:

Did you know that somewhere there is a petrified fruitcake forest where all the fruitcakes ever made go to live after Christmas?

Where, where, oh where?
They usually improve with age, are the petrified ones still edible?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 05, 2007, 11:11:02 pm
I'm not reading through 22 pages of this shit ;-)

If you don't know that *Kendal Mint Cake* is the survival food of choice then you deserve to die.

Period.

Poo poo to you.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on June 05, 2007, 11:25:22 pm
The first page or 3 of posts might be informative. The rest is wonderful dogma of the magnificence of the true "Elfin Lembas Bread"  or "way bread" of reality.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 05, 2007, 11:39:02 pm
Yeah yeah yeah Rarick...heard it all before...thanks :-)

Not interested in flame-wars or other forms of online competition...just letting you all know:

Kendal Mint Cake

Learn the recipe, carry it with you, be a survivor.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Paraibo on June 06, 2007, 07:12:45 am
Where, where, oh where?
They usually improve with age, are the petrified ones still edible?
Quote

Once when I was younger I visited the Petrified Fruitcake Forest and plucked one for my very own.  I brought it home and I now use it as a doorstop and a toe-stubbing device. 

Never had felt the urge to taste it, though.... :puke:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 06, 2007, 04:10:40 pm
Oh, oh, Ochlan hasn't been eating any fruitcake!! ^_^
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 06, 2007, 04:39:14 pm
There is no other cake...the minty kendal wonder is the alpha & omega

kneel before it, mortals...  ^_^
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Dull'Hawk on June 06, 2007, 05:35:34 pm
Don't tell him about The Twinkie Thread.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 06, 2007, 08:21:57 pm
OK Ochlan, let's have a linkee.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 07, 2007, 11:32:21 am
OK Ochlan, let's have a linkee.

Thou asketh, mortal, and I deign to delivereth...again (http://www.kendalcorner.co.uk/?gclid=CNDX0-C0yowCFSJzUAodF02sVA) and again (http://www.kendal.mintcake.co.uk/default.htm) and again (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kendal_mint_cake).

How lucky thou art   ^_^

PS. And again (http://www.hungrybrowser.com/phaedrus/m041703.htm#5)...feeble humans
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 07, 2007, 08:29:56 pm
From the Wikipedia link:

"Kendal mint cake is made from sugar, glucose, water and peppermint oil."

Retch, Twinkies are more nourishing than that!
Real Fruitcake is a real whole food - travel food that will get you there
and can be stashed along the way for the return trip.
Ochlan you should definitely go to the Twinkie Thread!
Hey, maybe start a Kendal Mint Cake Thread! :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on June 07, 2007, 09:07:01 pm

Mint cake? What next men wearing tights? :laugh:

Fruitcake being the food of travel for the Crusaders, no wonder they were so uptight, you try being constipated for 5 years in 100 degree desert heat and see how friendly you would be....

and let's see a mint cake see duty as a door stop.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on June 08, 2007, 07:26:20 am
Quote
2. Place a thermometer in the pan and boil rapidly until the mixture reaches
140 C/ 275 F.  Remove from the heat and add the essence, beating well until
smooth and cooled slightly.

I never could get my thermometer to the smooth consistency specified, it just broke into 3 or 4 "chunks" ... must be doing something wrong. :rolleyes: Didn't hurt the flavor though.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 08, 2007, 11:58:26 am
 ^_^

lol...hey I'm just goofin' off here..I'm under no illusions about the (lack of) nutritional value in kendal mint cake...it's a refreshing energy blast s'all.

Seriously though...I pack jerky and trail mix along with some KMC to sustain me. Fruitcake, while very nice, sounds like it would spoil too easily to be practical for anything more than a days leisure hike. I also like to forage for stuff as I go...makes a journey more interesting.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 08, 2007, 08:50:06 pm
Seriously though...I pack jerky and trail mix along with some KMC to sustain me. Fruitcake, while very nice, sounds like it would spoil too easily to be practical for anything more than a days leisure hike. I also like to forage for stuff as I go...makes a journey more interesting.

I think that todays fruitcakes are far from the original ones.  Can't find an original recipe, but i expect they were alot harder - more nutrients and better for travel.  Until I find the original recipe, I too pack jerky and trail mix.  Gotta work on my foraging skills.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 08, 2007, 08:59:51 pm
Now...my mom used to make an awesome "Dundee Cake" that was essentialy a fruitcake but *damn* was it solid and hearty. I shit you not...one slice would ground you for an hour...OK...I exaggerate a tad...but it was a fucking dense, rich fruitcake that lasted for *ages*...never went bad so long as you kept it wrapped in muslin.

You could also use it as a short-range concussive missile weapon.

But still, pound-for-pound, I'm a die-hard fan of jerky and trail mix...and if you are hiking through piney areas, there is no excuse for roughing it (as far as foraging is concerned). "If you're roughing it, you're doing something wrong"
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Tahn L. on June 17, 2007, 03:54:12 pm
Well, it happened. I was saving those two fruit cakes I ordered from Texas that Gooch recommended. They are "high energy" survival masterpieces, so I though just to save them.

 However, real life intrudes on intentions. I got the hungrys and weakened with resolve but what a wonderful way to fail. It is really a great and tasty food. A fine repast was had, with a finger licking finish.

 I put the remainder uneaten, back into the tin and then dropped it into my new "solar/wind freezer. The next day I enjoyed some more and it even tastes great frozen, however bizarre that sounds.

 After I enjoyed a gourmet meal cooked in my new solar oven (which I will have to explain in that thread) I popped a few slices into the sun oven for a warm up and I must tell you, it tastes just fine hot. It wasn't grilled (my nest taste test) but was hot and moist and delicious.

THANKS GOOCH !      Hurray for Fruitcake!   (I also have an organic fruit cake ordered).
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Midnight Blue on June 17, 2007, 07:02:32 pm
Uh-oh. 

Does the suitability of fruitcake for survival food use mean that there will now be a Fruitcake! thread in addition to the Twinkies! thread?  :ph34r:

Twinkies are survival food?! Mmmmmmm, twinkees........ wherefor is this twinkie thread?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 17, 2007, 07:09:44 pm
Midnight, sorry but I can't help you find the Twinkie Thread.  There are someplaces we just don't go. 
Hey Ochlan and Tahn, they sound like excellent f cakes.  How about posting the recipes. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Midnight Blue on June 17, 2007, 07:17:23 pm
I love fruitcake.  Especially, my mom's homemade fruitcake.  She even used to make fruitcake cookies that were awesome as well.

Never understood why so many people dislike it so much...

Recipe please.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on June 17, 2007, 07:19:24 pm
Midnight,
   Look under Gulching and self sufficiency (right where it should be LOL). Golden Sponge Cake Goodness, and Creme Filling to spare await you in this most informative thread...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Midnight Blue on June 17, 2007, 07:19:57 pm
Yeah yeah yeah Rarick...heard it all before...thanks :-)

Not interested in flame-wars or other forms of online competition...just letting you all know:

Kendal Mint Cake

Learn the recipe, carry it with you, be a survivor.

People, don't just throw out stuff without a recipe, that aint right. :nono:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Midnight Blue on June 17, 2007, 07:35:23 pm
Midnight,
   Look under Gulching and self sufficiency (right where it should be LOL). Golden Sponge Cake Goodness, and Creme Filling to spare await you in this most informative thread...

Thank you. I will now skip over to that section for twinkie goodness. :mellow:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 18, 2007, 10:53:22 am
Quote
People, don't just throw out stuff without a recipe, that aint right. :nono:

No fair!  Check out reply #337 to this thread! Links aplenty!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ripsnort on June 18, 2007, 02:16:01 pm
Ochlan, I don't see the recipe for your mother's Dundee Fruitcake on 337. :huh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Ochlan on June 18, 2007, 02:40:51 pm
That's a family secret  :laugh:

Midnight quoted my post about Kendal Mint Cake...that's what I was referring to.

I'll see if I can't pry my mom's recipe out of her sinewy Scottish fist...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Midnight Blue on June 18, 2007, 02:41:32 pm
OK Ochlan, let's have a linkee.

Thou asketh, mortal, and I deign to delivereth...again (http://www.kendalcorner.co.uk/?gclid=CNDX0-C0yowCFSJzUAodF02sVA) and again (http://www.kendal.mintcake.co.uk/default.htm) and again (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kendal_mint_cake).

How lucky thou art   ^_^

PS. And again (http://www.hungrybrowser.com/phaedrus/m041703.htm#5)...feeble humans

I see it now, thanks.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on July 10, 2007, 12:26:29 am
Well, it happened. I was saving those two fruit cakes I ordered from Texas that Gooch recommended. They are "high energy" survival masterpieces, so I though just to save them.

 However, real life intrudes on intentions. I got the hungrys and weakened with resolve but what a wonderful way to fail. It is really a great and tasty food. A fine repast was had, with a finger licking finish.

 I put the remainder uneaten, back into the tin and then dropped it into my new "solar/wind freezer. The next day I enjoyed some more and it even tastes great frozen, however bizarre that sounds.

 After I enjoyed a gourmet meal cooked in my new solar oven (which I will have to explain in that thread) I popped a few slices into the sun oven for a warm up and I must tell you, it tastes just fine hot. It wasn't grilled (my nest taste test) but was hot and moist and delicious.

THANKS GOOCH !      Hurray for Fruitcake!   (I also have an organic fruit cake ordered).

I thank you for the kind words Tahn  BUT I am only the messenger.
The folks at Collins Street have all the secrets.
I am not certain BUT they might part with the recipe in one of their "cookbooks".

Ah Ochlan  ya had me going for a minute or two there.
I was beginning to wonder how anyone with so many Celtic references in in their screen ID could say such plainly untrue things.
As any good Celt knows ... Fruitcake  :notworthy: was invented by Ceridwen {Mistriss of the Cauldron} or Brighid {Lady of the Hearth} [some tales conflict] as food for the preservation of the soul.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: enemyofthestate on July 10, 2007, 06:29:16 am
Ah Ochlan  ya had me going for a minute or two there.
I was beginning to wonder how anyone with so many Celtic references in in their screen ID could say such plainly untrue things.
As any good Celt knows ... Fruitcake  :notworthy: was invented by Ceridwen {Mistriss of the Cauldron} or Brighid {Lady of the Hearth} [some tales conflict] as food for the preservation of the soul.

That's a good story and better than most.  Given a choice I'd refer the over the more comon beleif the Romans did it.  The Celts were a civlilzed people when the Romans were still wearing bedsheets.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on July 22, 2007, 08:21:25 pm
{he shyly steps to front of the room, sets his coffee down  .... clears his throat and says ...}

Hello my name is gooch and I'm a fruitcake  err ahem  Fruitcake Devourer.




I had bought a couple of fruitcakes for the TDGOF and then discovered that I had no way to get them to her.
Silly me.
So...... I PMed her and she said Thanks but no thanks and why didn't I just go ahead and eat them myself.
Well I had been really good  no I mean really good and had not even opened them while I "held" them
in trust. Now the chains were off and I have to say it was not very pretty. I nearly cut myself getting in the way of the guy who was trying to open the cans and cut myself a slice ? ?  Like I said it wasn't pretty.

One of the fruitcakes was a specialty cake made with apricots and pecans  ......   ooooo man  err ahem 
What ? Of Course! I always sleep with my fruitcake tin under my pillow don't you? ?
How else can you protect them from those sneaky thieves-ess ? {eyes darting left and right suspiciously}

Ahem ....  Yes I'm fine ... Ahem .... I just had a little relapse err  um episode err incident.

I'd better go have another small slice of fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on July 22, 2007, 09:28:28 pm

Ahh fruitcake as pillow and doorstop?

Bliss thy name is Fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Jiminy on July 24, 2007, 08:04:10 am
Yummy Goodness... (http://www.claxtonfruitcake.com/products.php)
Title: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Dare2BFree on July 31, 2007, 04:32:18 pm
Alright folks - it's finally here  :D

The TCF Cookbook -101+ Things to Cook 'til the Revolution (http://www.lulu.com/content/1064479)

Tell all your friends and family.  Feel free to post this link everywhere you possibly can think of. 

Enjoy!

If you have trouble getting the download option, just search for TCF on lulu.com's main page.  A link to purchase the book or download should come up.


*Mods - if someone would be so kind to sticky this somewhere, I would appreciate it.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: mr_duh on July 31, 2007, 04:59:21 pm
The twinkies are a nice touch.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Basil Fishbone on July 31, 2007, 05:08:43 pm
I don't like to order things over the Internet with a credit card, or debit card, or whatever.   Are there any other options, namely money order or personal check?  Hell, I'd even send cash wrapped in aluminum foil.  I'll have to go without otherwise.

Thanks

Basil
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Joel on July 31, 2007, 05:16:00 pm
Very cool, guys!  I'm a'gonna get one!

Who did the cover photo?
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Dare2BFree on July 31, 2007, 05:21:38 pm
Basil - and for anyone else who has the same issues - I am more than willing to act as a middleman.

If anyone would like to do this, I will accept money orders, personal checks, and cash.  Of course, the order will not be placed until I have the cash in hand.  For anyone who pays with personal checks, I will wait until it clears the bank before the book is ordered.  Those that want to do this will have to provide a valid shipping address for it to be sent directly to them via lulu.com.  Send a PM if you are interested and I will provide info on where to send the money order, check, or cash.  Anyone sending cash does so at their own risk and I take no responsibility if the USPS steals it.

Basil - PM to you is on its way.

Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Dare2BFree on July 31, 2007, 05:22:16 pm
Very cool, guys!  I'm a'gonna get one!

Who did the cover photo?

Thunder did the cover photo and it turned out fantastic!
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Joel on July 31, 2007, 06:08:24 pm
Very cool, guys!  I'm a'gonna get one!

Who did the cover photo?

Thunder did the cover photo and it turned out fantastic!

Sure's hell did!  I'll be putting in a lulu order this weekend after payday, and will definitely add this to the list.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Lisa on July 31, 2007, 08:10:12 pm
I keep on telling Dullhawk to watch and tell me when the book is ready. Now I am telling him to put in a order I want that book. I will also put a link on myspace to help out. Thank you

Scrantonbabe34  ^_^
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: spatter on August 01, 2007, 02:48:30 am
Ordered it.  Also went through about half of the 111 pages of other cookbooks and ordered a few more.  I think I could spend my life at Lulu's.

Spatter
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Thunder on August 01, 2007, 05:35:12 am
Very cool, guys!  I'm a'gonna get one!

Who did the cover photo?

Thunder did the cover photo and it turned out fantastic!

Thanks, guys!

I tried to incorporate things that we talk about on TCF in the photo.  There's beans, bullets, bread, hard cider, wheat, a Dutch Oven,  REAL money in the form of gold and silver, and last, but certainly not least.........

Twinkies!
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Lisa on August 01, 2007, 07:23:22 am
Dullhawk, Ordered one of the cookbook  for me. I went to myspace and my hotmail and sent out the link to everyone I knew to help.  Now I can't wait to get the book.  :laugh: Thank you

Scrantonbabe34
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on August 01, 2007, 09:51:43 am
Ladies/Gents,I'm in for 2,as soon as I get service,Book version of course,'puters glitch,books don't.I hope theres a buncho rice delights.Don't matter it's bought no matter WHAT.Ought 7
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Pagan on August 01, 2007, 11:41:11 am
Don’t remember many rice recipes in the cookbook, but I can give you two:

Rice Pudding (My mother’s recipe; a basic comfort food for me when I was a kid):

2 cups rice,cooked
2 cups rich milk
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup raisins (scant)

Preheat oven 350. Mix all well; pour into casserole. Dot with butter; sprinkle with nutmeg. Bake 45 min.


Pork-Fried Rice (modified for 1-2 from original recipe; this is an Americanized version but it does taste good.)

3/4 cup dry (converted) rice cooked in 2-1/4 cups water, cooled thoroughly; makes 3 cups cooked rice
1/2 lb. pork tenderloin, cut in 1/2-inch strips, cooked
1/4 - 1/2 sm onion or to taste
2 large eggs
3/4 small can peas, drained
2-3 Tb. soy sauce

The day before, or in am for an evening meal: Bring water to a boil, add rice, stir well, and simmer about 20 min. (cover on) or till rice is done, but firm. Do not overcook! Works better in the recipe if rice has been refrigerated and is drier.
Cook pork and let cool thoroughly.

To prepare: Slowly saute the cooked rice in 1/4 cup vegetable oil; turn till all sides are brown. Add onion and cooked pork, mix & heat through. Make a well in center of rice and break eggs in center, scrambling gently till softly cooked; then mix all together with the rice and pork. Stir in soy sauce, then add peas and heat through. Serve immediately as this dish cools quickly. I like to make my own “Chinese” meal by adding veggie egg rolls, green tea & fortune cookies.
 

Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Lightning on August 01, 2007, 09:13:12 pm
Thunder did do a nice job on that cover pic, didn't he?  :love4:  Then he ate up the Twinkies afterwards.   :laugh:

Let's also give a big w00t for the major efforts contributed by Pagan on the page layout, by Dare2 on the proofreading and the cover design, and by Thunder on the data input.  Not to mention the many TCFers who offered their favorite recipes. :wav: :headbang: :thumbsup:

I know you'll all be pleased with what they've created.   :mellow:  Buy early, buy often!
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Mr. Dare on August 01, 2007, 09:18:05 pm
Does this mean I can have my wife back? lol :laugh: Great job to all on the cookbook! I can vouch that the spiral binding is a great help in the kitchen as the book will lay flat and not change pages while your hands are covered in sticky ingredients! Cheers! :occasion14: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Mr. Bill on August 01, 2007, 09:52:40 pm
I'm probably going to order the paperback, but I have a question about the download version.  Is it a standard PDF file that I can read on any PDF-viewer software?  Or is there some sort of DRM stuff that requires specific software (e.g. a recent version of Adobe Reader)?

Couldn't find anything definitive on Lulu.com.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: mutti on August 02, 2007, 07:25:03 am
Our plan is to give them as gifts. Nothing says "Subversive" like encouraging your neighbors/relatives to open their brains with new ideas - recipes or whatever. Plus, profit goes to TCF right???


Mutti
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Dare2BFree on August 02, 2007, 07:28:50 am
Quote
Is it a standard PDF file that I can read on any PDF-viewer software?  Or is there some sort of DRM stuff that requires specific software (e.g. a recent version of Adobe Reader)?

Mr. Bill - Sorry, but I do not have a definite answer to that question.  However, I do know that I had to use a PC with Windows and Acrobat 7 to view it.  It would not open on my linux box at all.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on August 02, 2007, 08:32:00 am
I can't get it either as I said earlier,I want the book somethin about gliches I do reckon :rolleyes:As soon as a Senior somewhat Pompous member does it I'll be cookin with gas oops,I meant Claire,CHEERS ALL.RESPECTS to all who/m busted there collective Butts to produce this book.Ought 7
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Pagan on August 02, 2007, 10:47:40 am
Mutti:
Quote
Plus, profit goes to TCF right???

Well, that was the original intent...
Excepting a percentage that goes to the Outlaw Trail team, it will go to TCF.

P:S: Neither book (George's book is to follow, and we're about to finish it) will give much of a "profit".

Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: mutti on August 02, 2007, 11:32:36 am
Well, any $ is $. It's the concept of contribution to something we believe in. Plus, I get hungry now and again!

Mutti
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Mr. Bill on August 02, 2007, 12:02:04 pm
Quote
Is it a standard PDF file that I can read on any PDF-viewer software?  Or is there some sort of DRM stuff that requires specific software (e.g. a recent version of Adobe Reader)?

Mr. Bill - Sorry, but I do not have a definite answer to that question.  However, I do know that I had to use a PC with Windows and Acrobat 7 to view it.  It would not open on my linux box at all.

Thanks, that gives me a hint.

When I have time, I'll plow through the Lulu forums and see what I can find out.  I browsed around a bit just now, and I sorta got the idea that the PDF you buy is identical to whatever the author uploaded.  So compatibilty issues might not be Lulu's fault.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Jebur27 on August 10, 2007, 04:31:52 pm
My copy shipped on the 7th.

 :drool:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on August 11, 2007, 07:22:57 am
Mine is ordered,don't know when it shipped(If Yet). Once again all,thanks for all the hard work it took to compile the book.Respects Ought 7
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Jebur27 on August 11, 2007, 03:02:00 pm
Got it today and we're already talking about which to try first. 
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on August 12, 2007, 07:44:20 am
As is normal for me,The day I posted the above my copy got here. So I'm deciding what to cook and gonna force one of TCFs senior members ta become my taster(Read sacrificial lamb).There will be Med Staff there plus Nexium. So the chance of a major Malf should be at a minimum. :rolleyes:.Besides,you don't really expect the Shef,ta critique his own culinary offerring does YA. Thanks ta all who busted there *** ta put this thing in print,Ladies and Gents. Watch this thread,I'm sure the Honored Guest/Lucky Survivor,will post to it. He's a little to arrogant at times so I feel it's my duty ta Insert a reallity check on occassion. Then again if'n youse all hear I'm in a hospital,the affore mentioned guest didn't think this was all that Damn FUNNY. He gets cranky when tweaked on the weekends. Respects Ought 7. ^_^ :mellow:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Thunder on August 13, 2007, 07:59:48 pm
How does the cookbook look?  Good printing, appearance, formatting, etc.?  Worthy of the TCF moniker?


Hope you guys like the wordplay with the title.  We just couldn't help ourselves.  :D
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Pagan on August 14, 2007, 02:16:12 am
There are a few obvious (but minor) mistakes, I'm sorry to say -- but overall the cookbook looks and reads well. Happy eating...
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on August 14, 2007, 02:48:06 am
Just typos,I haven't had the chance ta try any of the new recipes as YET. :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on August 14, 2007, 11:46:05 pm
Just wanted to get back on track here. The Conspiracy Theory thread is about to catch up to the Fruitcake thread, and I don't think that should happen.
I'm sure there are more fruitcakes in this world than there are conspiracies.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: coloradohermit on August 15, 2007, 07:30:10 am
I'm sure there are more fruitcakes in this world than there are conspiracies.
That is absolutely begging for an Abbot and Costello routine. They're never around when you need them though.  Oh the things you hear when you haven't got a gun!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Pagan on August 15, 2007, 10:49:09 am
I hear ya, CH. :-)
That's what happens when you go to bed early and wake up at midnight, unable to get back to sleep.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on August 20, 2007, 01:28:52 pm
I confess to having spent a lifetime amid the fruitcake doubters and skeptics.

I admit that I believed all fruitcakes were little but nests of chemical-laden marischino cherries, a "fruit" that could have been used to preserve Egyptian mummies, but certainly was never intended to be consumed by living human beings.

Then, after months of threats promises and avoidance, gooch finally tracked me down with a fruitcake from the Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/) in Corsicana, Texas. Not only a fruitcake, but an apricot-pecan fruitcake. (Long-time readers know that I worship the holy apricot.)

I am now a convert. Henceforth, you shall find me standing on corners and accosting strangers to thrust Collin Street leaflets into their hands.

Unfortunately, I've hardly gotten to eat any of the Miracle Substance. First thing, I had to give 1/4 away to the friend who took delivery for me. Then the very next day a former Texan showed up, rhapsodizing about Collin Street fruitcakes. There went another 1/4. The rest, though, will be devoutly consumed, warmed in the microwave and covered with either ice cream or whipping cream.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: cowardly lion on August 20, 2007, 01:46:51 pm
My better half makes a fruitcake that I live for.  Unfortunately, since I'm diabetic, I only get it on special occasions - like Christmas, and birthdays, and Groundhog's day, and . . . . .

cl



(I wish)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on August 26, 2007, 10:11:27 pm
Whew  That took longer than I thought.

I found myself with a swollen ego from having been praised by TADGOF  for something not at all my product.
I mean I did send it .... ahem  sheesh there it goes again ..... I'll be back when the hot air leaks out and I can touch the keyboar
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on August 26, 2007, 10:24:36 pm
I'm sure there are more fruitcakes in this world than there are conspiracies.
That is absolutely begging for an Abbot and Costello routine. They're never around when you need them though.  Oh the things you hear when you haven't got a gun!

The unified theory of fruitcakes and conspiracies.

It all works together you see, when fruitcake recipes reaches the all time record of downloadable recipes, TPTB know that fruitcakians are onto them, so they immediately wear pancakes on their heads and laugh at reporters questions in Quebec about the upcoming North American Union..

NAU...what NAU....why mr reporter sir, whatever do you mean, here have some fruitcake...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: coloradohermit on September 30, 2007, 02:11:07 pm
Oh fruitcake people! Yoohoo. Where are you? You're lagging behind and it's almost fruitcake season. On the ball folks.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on September 30, 2007, 02:32:15 pm

True enough CH

It seems that we have been letting the "little things" [the departure of TCF, the departure of Wolfesblog, etc, etc]
get in the way of our recitation of the many benefits and pleasures of the epitome of the baking arts.

"Ah Bliss thy name is Fruitcake"  [did I just "borrow" that line ? Oops, Sorry Padre]

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Wonk on October 01, 2007, 07:08:49 am
I'm a long-time fan of the fruitcake.   

Chewy...

Fruity...

Its REFRESHING!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 01, 2007, 05:50:05 pm

No worries Gooch, Fruitcake doesn't mind.

In a pinch, fruitcake can be used as a low energy power source, just insert two copper wires and then attach them to a 20 watt light bulb..
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 02, 2007, 09:32:01 pm
Padre ....

That was supposed to be kept a secret so the mutant biker hordes wouldn't know about our secret power source.

Sheesh ......
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 02, 2007, 10:05:14 pm


I thought the use of Fruitcake to build machine gun emplacements was supposed to be the secret weapon against biker hordes?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 02, 2007, 10:34:05 pm

They are for Trebuchet ammo not for building the emplacements themselves.

I can see that I may have to be real careful when handing out the fruitcake rations after TSHTF.

machine gun emplacements ..... {shakes head  in wonderment ...}



Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 02, 2007, 10:43:11 pm

They are for Trebuchet ammo not for building the emplacements themselves.

I can see that I may have to be real careful when handing out the fruitcake rations after TSHTF.

machine gun emplacements ..... {shakes head  in wonderment ...}





Man's gotta eat.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 25, 2007, 07:20:02 pm

They are for Trebuchet ammo not for building the emplacements themselves.

I can see that I may have to be real careful when handing out the fruitcake rations after TSHTF.

machine gun emplacements ..... {shakes head  in wonderment ...}


Man's gotta eat.

Yep this is true BUT how the heck are we gonna be able to tell the little pieces of lead left in the fruitcakes from the little cherries and raisins ?  A guy [or gal for that matter] could break a tooth on one of those don't ya know ?

FruitCake shouldn't be used for any sort of barricade from small arms fire.  Mortar round shards and grenade shards are pretty easy to spot but those pesky little .223 rounds the JaBots will be throwing could be mistaken for a cherry real easy.
It's too dangerous I tell ya.

Yep I'll just have to be a little circumspect in my FruitCake Ration issuing after TSHTF.
OR ......
Maybe I'll take some dental courses ....  Hmmm  ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 25, 2007, 08:05:58 pm


By using the fruitcake as a solid barrier, one has a dual purpose:

1. Softens fruitcake
2. Increase supply of lead

Consider the lead to be similar to orange or apple seeds, save them for later use in a smelter.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 25, 2007, 09:22:29 pm

You MIGHT be onto something there padre ....

What you got in that pipe anyway ?

Ne'er mind I'll go get me another glass o'rum.

{Mumbling to himself ... increase in supply of lead  hmm  now I have to make more black powder and get that reloading gear out  .... this could turn into work directly .......   mumble  mumble  mumble}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on October 25, 2007, 10:01:14 pm
Christmas approaches... and so do little packages of Collin Street fruitcakes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 26, 2007, 03:17:01 pm
Christmas approaches... and so do little packages of Collin Street fruitcakes.

I sure hope I'm on Somebodies List to get one of those ....  :rolleyes:

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Lenny on October 26, 2007, 03:22:10 pm
Yep this is true BUT how the heck are we gonna be able to tell the little pieces of lead left in the fruitcakes from the little cherries and raisins?

The chewier bits are lead. Spit 'em out.

--Len.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on October 26, 2007, 07:06:21 pm
Christmas approaches... and so do little packages of Collin Street fruitcakes.
I sure hope I'm on Somebodies List to get one of those ....

If you truly, truly believe in Santa Claus... he's got a list about people like you.  :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 27, 2007, 02:17:53 pm
Yep this is true BUT how the heck are we gonna be able to tell the little pieces of lead left in the fruitcakes from the little cherries and raisins?

The chewier bits are lead. Spit 'em out.

--Len.


I'll let my Winchester lever action spit them for me.  :rolleyes:   :laugh:


Christmas approaches... and so do little packages of Collin Street fruitcakes.
I sure hope I'm on Somebodies List to get one of those ....

If you truly, truly believe in Santa Claus... he's got a list about people like you.  :ph34r:

Oh sheesh  not another list to stay off of ?
WAIT ! Do I want to stay off of that one ?
I'm getting lost here .... I NEED A SCORECARD !

Say BTW ......
Are there supposed to be little elf type people hanging around in the bushes in south Texas ?  :ph34r:
They seem to be paying more than a little attention to my place.
You don't suppose that they are planning a heist of my fruitcake supply ?
I'll have to go wake up the grinch if they get too close.

I'd better go have some fruitcake and think on this ......

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 27, 2007, 08:07:54 pm


Funny little elf people?

Gooch, better cut back a bit on the fruitcake, cut back some ifn' you know what I mean...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 29, 2007, 02:35:51 pm


Funny little elf people?

Gooch, better cut back a bit on the fruitcake, cut back some ifn' you know what I mean...

Ah Ha !
I knew I was doing something wrong ....  thicker slices ....  that's the ticket.

Thanks Padre I must have been right up next to having withdrawal type symptoms.

WHEW That was close .....

Yep. Elves. Definitely Elves.
Elves hanging out in the shade, sipping mint juleps and lounging by the pool.

Do they have european style vacation packages with their contracts ?   [one week for each quarter or four weeks per annum]

I MAY be in the wrong business ......
Do ya think they have an allowance for an Elf Apprentice over six feet tall ? 
Would that be listed as a "handicap" ?
Dang I hate paperwork .....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 29, 2007, 07:43:20 pm


Try getting up with Feralfae Gooch, she has the hook up on how to deal with elves of the non cookie kind.

Err...wait a minute....Fruitcake cookies made in tree...no thanks none for me.....

And check the nutmeg dosage in the morning coffee Gooch, those may be Jackaloupes, not Elves.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: prometheus on November 03, 2007, 11:56:46 am
 :icon_pirat: :icon_pirat:  GYHD twinkies  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Spotted_Dick-640x480.jpg) :icon_pirat: :icon_pirat: :icon_pirat:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 03, 2007, 05:26:36 pm
:icon_pirat: :icon_pirat:  GYHD twinkies  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Spotted_Dick-640x480.jpg) :icon_pirat: :icon_pirat: :icon_pirat:

Hmm, some things were never meant to be spotted P, try rubbing fruitcake on the spotted area with vigor, and then tell no one...... :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 05, 2007, 11:47:59 am

Wow !
A whole new board to foul uh infest  uh populate.  :ph34r:

Thanks folks.

Fruit Cake counterfeiting season is upon us and we need all keep an eye open for those nasty counterfeiters.

Counterfeiting a sacred foodstuff .... the Nerve ...

For want of a better place maybe we could report all sightings here ?
How much bandwidth do we have available Bill ?
This could get sticky ....

 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 05, 2007, 12:29:45 pm


Oh look, like it's namesake, the Fruitcake thread has been "gifted" to a new forum....

Fruitcake itself however, will survive, and will be passed around again until THE DAY arrives..

 :laugh: :laugh:

More proof that Fruitcake is the ulltimate survival food..
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 17, 2007, 02:04:19 am
I just got a new doorstop to replace last years. I keep finding dead cockroaches by it so it serves a secondary purpose. The new one is from the same parts company and is the same brand/kind as last years, so I figure............
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Tahn L. on December 17, 2007, 01:52:46 pm
I heard a report on NPR concerning "Fruitcake". Now this was NPR, still, there was no mention of Twinkies. I hope this is the link.
                        http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17295371
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 17, 2007, 05:25:23 pm

Yep.
Made me proud  .....

I don't have the transcript for an exact quote But Loosely transcribed I heard Liane Hansen ask if there was a place to send Fruit Cakes that were not wanted .... The woman answered  "Sure send them to us ...... we'll probably eat them."

I wonder if she is single and willing to leave that Kalifornicated Nanny State ....  ?

 :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 17, 2007, 05:37:46 pm
I just got a new doorstop to replace last years. I keep finding dead cockroaches by it so it serves a secondary purpose. The new one is from the same parts company and is the same brand/kind as last years, so I figure............

Dead cockroaches ? By It ?   :ph34r:
Yet another tightly held secret of the secret survival food has escaped into the public domain. 
[Protein source trap bait]  DRAT !

Meanwhile .... and referring to the previous post ...
If there are any Fruit Cakes that should happen to wind up in unloving homes The Gooch Fruit Cake Rescue Program will, of course, be happy to "Rescue" any Fruit Cake in need of an Attentive and Appreciative Home.

PM for Private Rescue Instructions .....


Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 18, 2007, 02:16:16 pm

Fruitcake: Tool of Subversion?

Quote
CTV.ca News Staff

Holiday travellers packing one of the season's traditional fruitcakes had better hope their journey's short. Transport Canada says the festive confections are not welcome on the nation's airplanes.

The ban is not, as one might suspect, the punchline to a joke about old, dried-out fruitcakes making lethal weapons.

That would be in bad taste.

According to the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority, fruitcakes are being banned because they are notoriously difficult to identify on the X-ray scanners used to inspect air travellers' luggage.

And that, according to the agency's Jacques Duchesneau, means the otherwise innocent cake could prompt unnecessary security alerts and subsequent delays.

The fruitcake is just the latest in long list of items banned from travellers luggage in the wake of the September, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States.

A.

The fruitcake can be misidentified as a threat to security.

The fruitcake, edible bug out bag and subversive food all rolled into one tastee bundle... :laugh:

I cannot make this stuff up...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 18, 2007, 05:17:46 pm

Fruitcake: Tool of Subversion?

Quote
CTV.ca News Staff

Holiday travellers packing one of the season's traditional fruitcakes had better hope their journey's short. Transport Canada says the festive confections are not welcome on the nation's airplanes.

The ban is not, as one might suspect, the punchline to a joke about old, dried-out fruitcakes making lethal weapons.

That would be in bad taste.

According to the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority, fruitcakes are being banned because they are notoriously difficult to identify on the X-ray scanners used to inspect air travellers' luggage.

And that, according to the agency's Jacques Duchesneau, means the otherwise innocent cake could prompt unnecessary security alerts and subsequent delays.

The fruitcake is just the latest in long list of items banned from travellers luggage in the wake of the September, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States.

A.

The fruitcake can be misidentified as a threat to security.

The fruitcake, edible bug out bag and subversive food all rolled into one tastee bundle... :laugh:

I cannot make this stuff up...

I think the giveaway was the 'slow match' fuse in the other bag from the "Fruit Cake".

"Huh? Oh sure officer those are ... uh ... those are ... uh ... wicks. Yeah they're ... uh  candle wicks for some candles I plan on making .... <grin> "

Then again Fruit Cake is an indispensable ingredient in any successful R + evolution.
I suppose that they [TPTB] were bound to outlaw it someday ....  *sigh*


Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 21, 2007, 06:00:03 pm
Happy Solstice to you

Happy Solstice to you

May you have all the Fruit Cake

that your stomach can do ....




Happy Solstice To All

May you always have Ice Cream [or the topping of your choice] to put on your warm slice of Fruit Cake.

Liberty and Peace for (to) ALL.





edit:
OK .... How did you figure out that I am not a professional songwriter ?
What dangling participle ? Huh ?

Padre squealed didn't he ?
Don't make me get out my Bored Water ....  :ph34r:
What ?
No Really...
This is really bored water.
Where ? from that "lazy ol' river" Ol' Man River where else ?  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on December 23, 2007, 05:51:54 pm
Cinnamon and Apple Pecan Fruitcake

on the xmas counter


Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_cakes?t=s_go_kw_Pecan_Cakes&gclid=COOn9_vLv5ACFSosagodZBYjXQ)

Remember the Alamo Apple
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on January 29, 2008, 09:53:10 pm
At this rate it will be Alamo Day before you know it.

{6 March 1836}

Ever wonder just what it was that Santa Anna was in such a hurry to capture the Alamo for  ?

Hmmm ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on January 29, 2008, 11:18:07 pm


And Patriot's Day on April 19th after that, General Gage was not only coming for the firearms....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: justin case on March 13, 2008, 02:40:23 am
Fruitcake gets no respect.

I've heard all the jokes about how the same gnarly fruitcake gets passed around from one person to the next, year after year. And its innocent name is a synonym for an unfortunate individual who is a few bricks shy of a load.

In Boulder they even have an annual Fruitcake Toss, with  three weight classes and choice of propellant:  physically hurl the poor fruitcake with your very own pitching arm; or use a throwing device of your own invention and construction; or load it into the Pneumatic Spud Gun; or utilize the committee’s catapult. It’s an event guaranteed to bring out the yokel in the local college students.

But my great-grandfather was a baker, and I make fruitcake according to his recipe, with a white ground, not dark. The original recipe resulted in a huge vat of batter - this was a professional baker, after all. Even the fractioned-down version makes quite a lot. And just between us, the whole process, from individually inspecting the golden raisins for stems, to testing for doneness, is pretty much a pain in the butt.

The results are worth it, though. We're not talking about commercial-grade fruitcake packed with mystery nuggets and horrid little hard things.
Personally, I feel that Great-Grandpa’s recipe could rehabilitate the reputation of fruitcake overnight and take the nation by storm, the way Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies once did.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 16, 2008, 01:07:30 pm
Hey justin,

Welcome to the REAL Survival Food thread ....

BUT  .... 
that's it ?  ....

NO free samples ? ....

Come on now don't be so shy  [stingy ?] ....

Pass 'em out  ....

{tap, tap, tap .... I never was good at waiting .... ahem }
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: justin case on March 16, 2008, 02:11:25 pm
Gooch,

Thank you for your interest.

The thing is, the only time the candied cherries, pineapple, etc. are available to me is on the day after Christmas when maybe the grocery store has some left over and marked down to half price. Then of course they keep in the refrigerator for a good long time. So if I ever make another batch, it'll be some time next spring. We'll talk then.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 16, 2008, 06:04:32 pm
Gooch,

Thank you for your interest.

The thing is, the only time the candied cherries, pineapple, etc. are available to me is on the day after Christmas when maybe the grocery store has some left over and marked down to half price. Then of course they keep in the refrigerator for a good long time. So if I ever make another batch, it'll be some time next spring. We'll talk then.
emphasis mine

"next spring" as in a month or two from now right ?  {with HOPE in his voice ....}

PLEASE don't tell me you mean 13 or 14 months from now ....













PS:
most of the posts here are in a humorous vein and I highly recommend taking the time to read them from the front.

All the Best,
g
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: justin case on March 16, 2008, 10:51:53 pm
Gooch:

Quote
"next spring" as in a month or two from now right ?  {with HOPE in his voice ....}

PLEASE don't tell me you mean 13 or 14 months from now .... 

Tragically, yes, more than a year from now is exactly what I mean. And that's only if the supermarket has not refined its inventory control procedures to the point where no candied fruit is left unsold post-Christmas. The prospect is grim, but not hopeless.
Quote
PS:
most of the posts here are in a humorous vein and I highly recommend taking the time to read them from the front.

My point exactly! Fruitcake is not a subject to be taken lightly. When I find it being treated with humor my first impulse is to jump in there and turn this thing around! Attention must be paid!

Identify that quote and you're automatically entered in next year's Fruitcake Sweepstakes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on March 16, 2008, 11:58:22 pm
(http://delanion.com/xg/tw-Brad.gif) (http://thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=2214.msg216751#msg216751)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 18, 2008, 01:30:13 am
Fruitcake gets no respect.

I've heard all the jokes about how the same gnarly fruitcake gets passed around from one person to the next, year after year. And its innocent name is a synonym for an unfortunate individual who is a few bricks shy of a load.

In Boulder they even have an annual Fruitcake Toss, with  three weight classes and choice of propellant:  physically hurl the poor fruitcake with your very own pitching arm; or use a throwing device of your own invention and construction; or load it into the Pneumatic Spud Gun; or utilize the committee’s catapult. It’s an event guaranteed to bring out the yokel in the local college students.

But my great-grandfather was a baker, and I make fruitcake according to his recipe, with a white ground, not dark. The original recipe resulted in a huge vat of batter - this was a professional baker, after all. Even the fractioned-down version makes quite a lot. And just between us, the whole process, from individually inspecting the golden raisins for stems, to testing for doneness, is pretty much a pain in the butt.

The results are worth it, though. We're not talking about commercial-grade fruitcake packed with mystery nuggets and horrid little hard things.
Personally, I feel that Great-Grandpa’s recipe could rehabilitate the reputation of fruitcake overnight and take the nation by storm, the way Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies once did.



See, and that is the beauty of the fruitcake over that sponge filled with spooge, Fruitcakes can last quite sometime, provide actual nutrition, and can also be made well and taste better then Cram...

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 19, 2008, 12:01:18 pm
Gooch:

Quote
"next spring" as in a month or two from now right ?  {with HOPE in his voice ....}

PLEASE don't tell me you mean 13 or 14 months from now .... 

Tragically, yes, more than a year from now is exactly what I mean. And that's only if the supermarket has not refined its inventory control procedures to the point where no candied fruit is left unsold post-Christmas. The prospect is grim, but not hopeless.
Aack ....
Ah well I will just have to Hope that Colin Street Bakery in Corsicanna doesn't go belly-up in this "slow-down" ....

Quote
PS:
most of the posts here are in a humorous vein and I highly recommend taking the time to read them from the front.

Quote
My point exactly! Fruitcake is not a subject to be taken lightly. When I find it being treated with humor my first impulse is to jump in there and turn this thing around! Attention must be paid!

Identify that quote and you're automatically entered in next year's Fruitcake Sweepstakes.


I'm having time problems enough without re-reading all 26 pages of this thread.
*translation = Uncle *

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 19, 2008, 12:06:16 pm
(http://delanion.com/xg/tw-Brad.gif)

You see what all those artificial ingredients will/can do to an [arguably] normal yout'  ?

Truly a sad and avoidable situation ....


J: Fixed yer link...despite artificial ingredients.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 19, 2008, 07:31:36 pm
(http://delanion.com/xg/tw-Brad.gif)

You see what all those artificial ingredients will/can do to an [arguably] normal yout'  ?

Truly a sad and avoidable situation ....

Fear, Anger, Aggression the darkside these Twinkies be..




J: And yours too, from the Darkside.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on March 20, 2008, 10:52:39 am
Here's an important question: Is there fruitcake in Montana? Or must I bring my own?

Shorty Dawkins
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 22, 2008, 11:07:09 pm

" God Bless the child that's got his own ...."

Sorry Shorty I couldn't resist.

 {He ducks back down behind his cardboard and aluminum foil shield ....  :tinfoil:  }
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on March 22, 2008, 11:31:45 pm
Here's an important question: Is there fruitcake in Montana? Or must I bring my own?

Shorty Dawkins

'Salright, www.CollinStreet.com mails.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 03, 2008, 03:45:17 pm
Well that was interesting.
I haven't driven a tractor for financial compensation in a long time.
I like the work but the owner was nearly impossible ....
I was able to last a month so I wound up with a nice little egg for the nest.

Are the fruit cake stocks still safe ?
Whew ....

So where have you been ?

I need to start thinking about learning to bake these things myself.
It's getting downright dangerous to travel any more.



Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on May 03, 2008, 04:34:44 pm


Fruitcake fears neither rain nor darkness nor danger on the open trail Gooch.

It would have kept the Donner Party from experimenting with rather odd BBQ...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 03, 2008, 09:31:58 pm


Fruitcake fears neither rain nor darkness nor danger on the open trail Gooch.

It would have kept the Donner Party from experimenting with rather odd BBQ...

That's one that has always bothered me ...

1-The woods in the area of Donner Pass is full of edible plants. [OK it's not the same as fruit cake but it would get you back to your fruit cake ...]
2-A sacrificial horse/livestock of your choice placed as bait for the coyotes and wolves would have brought in predators to exploit for meat.
etc
etc

Ignorance plain and simple.

I mean who in their right mind would try for California without a years supply of Fruit Cake already on the wagon ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on June 24, 2008, 10:19:45 pm
Oops
Oh Hello.

Is this the Fruit Cakes Anonymous Meeting ?

Hello ?

OK Any way  .... *ahem*  ....  Hello My name is gooch and I'm a ....

'scuse me I'll try again.

Hello My name is gooch and I'm a fruitcake addict.

Whew I really do feel better....

Coffee ? Sure why not is there any fruit cake to go with .... *gulp* {did I just say that out loud ?}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on June 25, 2008, 05:01:52 pm


Fruitcake just keeps on going, I ran across some Citrons at the local Dollar General...in June....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 28, 2008, 08:10:25 pm
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kirgi07 on June 29, 2008, 08:20:13 am
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 29, 2008, 11:24:25 am
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:

DUH
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kirgi07 on June 29, 2008, 11:50:51 am
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:

DUH

So your showin your ass/because??????.Dude I'm to old of a cat ta be messed with by a kitten. Ought 7.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 29, 2008, 11:52:17 am
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:

DUH

So your showin your ass/because??????.Dude I'm to old of a cat ta be messed with by a kitten. Ought 7.



So walk away like an old cat would, without even so much as a snarl.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kirgi07 on June 29, 2008, 12:20:07 pm
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:

DUH

So your showin your ass/because??????.Dude I'm to old of a cat ta be messed with by a kitten. Ought 7.



So walk away like an old cat would, without even so much as a snarl.


I'm not here ta entertain you.I'm here ta speak my mind and don't rightly care what u think.If'n your to obstinate ta take advice ta querries you've posted it ain't my prob.You might like ta consider other points ta the topics you have posted.If you ask a ? be ready ta hear the answer 'round here.

We treat others as equals,so this elitist opinion you have of yourself is useless and a waste of the boards time.You asked a question,I answered it.What you do with that info is your concern.

I will not allow you ta troll this board looking for a fight.

You have your words of advice for the day. Ought 7..








Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 29, 2008, 12:30:14 pm
I don't what I'd find more frightening, Darth Fruitcake or Darth Twinkie:-)
It doesn't really matter, it they look like food, I'd eat them.

Ah Dude,Check out my Sig Line. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: :mellow:

DUH

So your showin your ass/because??????.Dude I'm to old of a cat ta be messed with by a kitten. Ought 7.



So walk away like an old cat would, without even so much as a snarl.


I'm not here ta entertain you.I'm here ta speak my mind and don't rightly care what u think.If'n your to obstinate ta take advice ta querries you've posted it ain't my prob.You might like ta consider other points ta the topics you have posted.If you ask a ? be ready ta hear the answer 'round here.

We treat others as equals,so this elitist opinion you have of yourself is useless and a waste of the boards time.You asked a question,I answered it.What you do with that info is your concern.

I will not allow you ta troll this board looking for a fight.

You have your words of advice for the day. Ought 7..










Reads more like a threat than advice, sir trollmaster.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on June 29, 2008, 12:53:47 pm
"Reads more like a threat than advice, sir trollmaster."

This sounds like the pot calling the kettle black to me.
And how does an innocent thread about fruit cake get to be your choice for a flame war site ?

Knowing you haven't read the thread [26 pages in case you cared] and as a regular poster on this thread may I ask you to stay on topic [humorous thoughts about fruit cake, etc] or leave ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 29, 2008, 12:56:58 pm
"Reads more like a threat than advice, sir trollmaster."

This sounds like the pot calling the kettle black to me.
And how does an innocent thread about fruit cake get to be your choice for a flame war site ?

Knowing you haven't read the thread [26 pages in case you cared] and as a regular poster on this thread may I ask you to stay on topic [humorous thoughts about fruit cake, etc] or leave ?

You must be related to Boston T. Party.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on June 29, 2008, 01:05:31 pm


I would be honored to even know the man.
You on the other hand could leave and I would not miss you a single crumbs worth of that true survival food Fruit Cake.

Begone Troll infest some other board.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: vonuvan on June 29, 2008, 01:16:42 pm


I would be honored to even know the man.
You on the other hand could leave and I would not miss you a single crumbs worth of that true survival food Fruit Cake.

Begone Troll infest some other board.


You could be his long lost twin, megalomanically speaking.
Who died and made you lord god of any of these threads?
Or maybe, you're the great fruitcake?:-)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 28, 2008, 07:01:45 pm


Well that was certainly educational.
How not to introduce ones self into a group of online posters.
OR ....
How to nearly kill a thread in ten posts or less ....

Can we get back to the subject now ?
That subject being the true survival food called Fruitcake not some lowly human.

Is anyone still here ?  I think the smell has finally dissipated .... ?

Padre ?    Shorty ?    Kirgi07 ?

Hello o o o o ....

Oh Well .... maybe if I start cleaning up in here somebody will come visit  ....

[humming and sweeping noises ....]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on October 28, 2008, 07:24:14 pm
Don't worry, gooch. Like fruitcake itself, the fruitcake thread never gets old. It just survives.

Invasions of locusts? Plagues of rats? Infestations of trolls? HA! They're all nothing to a true fruitcake!

Claire
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 28, 2008, 07:33:39 pm


Alas, it is the "Time" fruitcake re-emerges from hibernation right when economic calamity strikes.

Like a rock!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on October 29, 2008, 06:53:31 am
Ah yes, time to dust off the fruitcakes (er... I mean the tins they are in, of course) for our usual holiday giving and joy. I actually have a new recipe... if anyone is interested. :)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kirgi07 on October 29, 2008, 07:33:55 am
I'm here Gooch,and as you've seen both Padre and the time Honored One have made an appearance.As ta Shorty,I think the Twinkies got him. Ought 7.  :rolleyes: ^_^



Also,I've asked politely.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on October 29, 2008, 08:31:21 am
  Lions and tigers and fruitcakes, oh my. Gooch, I have an admission to make. This is for you, too, Padre. I had ravenous thoughts about a Twinkie. No.... I need to get this off my chest.... the Twinkie was,.... well, ..... a real cute looking dish, if you know what I mean. Really, I wouldn't lie to you. That delicious looking creamy filling had me liking my lips, for a minute, anyway..... all right, two minutes. But I never inhaled it. Nope. I thought of all the good times I had with my friend Fruitcake, and I resisted temptation. Yep. I did. Really, though it was hard. I mean, it was really hard.
  There, I got it off my chest, and I feel much better, now. Long live fruitcake!!!!!!

   Shorty Dawkins
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on October 29, 2008, 09:35:10 am
A really goofy thought just ran through my mind...

I can just picture some room full of CIA and assorted other alphabet goons reading through this and the Twinkie thread, killing themselves trying to decrypt the secret code we MUST be using to talk about other things.

Gives me a warm glow just to imagine that. :)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 29, 2008, 12:44:41 pm
A really goofy thought just ran through my mind...

I can just picture some room full of CIA and assorted other alphabet goons reading through this and the Twinkie thread, killing themselves trying to decrypt the secret code we MUST be using to talk about other things.

Gives me a warm glow just to imagine that. :)

:sign10:

Yep
I can just imagine the attempts to cross reference the fruit cake references there and the twinkie references here.

[OOPS  Did I just blow our cover ? ] Drat !

Uhm .... sorry folks ....  {dragging toe through the dirt sheepishly....}

Now where in tarnation did I leave that uhm .... Duh Est Pahn ?  [snicker, snicker ....]

{Sounds of squeaky closet door opening .... Fibber McGee's Closet (TM) by the by .... sound of a minor avalanche of miscellany commences ....}

Maybe you had to be there .... ?  Anybody old enough to remember Fibber and Molly ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on October 29, 2008, 01:04:47 pm
{Sounds of squeaky closet door opening .... Fibber McGee's Closet (TM) by the by .... sound of a minor avalanche of miscellany commences ....}

Maybe you had to be there .... ?  Anybody old enough to remember Fibber and Molly ?

One of my favorite things on the radio. Not to mention that I have such a cupboard myself now... actually, a whole pantry.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on November 13, 2008, 01:15:10 pm
A Collins Street Bakery package has arrived...

Fruitcake!

So our Thanksgiving fruitcakes are on the shelf (right next to the Twinkies:-).

Oh how fine!
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 05, 2008, 03:54:17 pm
Are there any copies of this one still available? I never got one. :(
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on December 05, 2008, 04:32:07 pm
ML,I'd ask Thunder.He had a lot ta do with producing the book.IIRC. Ought 7.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Thunder on December 05, 2008, 05:32:21 pm
http://www.lulu.com/content/1064479

Appears to still be available...
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: kirgi07 on December 05, 2008, 05:42:22 pm
Thanks Thunder,My linkie fu sucks. Ought 7.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 09, 2008, 08:17:02 pm

I had a most enjoyable Oopsie happen to me just the other day ....

I ordered a fruit cake for a friend and one for myself.
My friends likes the Apricot Pecan fruit cake and I like the Texas Blonde Pecan fruit cake so that was the order, one of each.
When the order arrived they had shipped me a Deluxe Xmas Fruit Cake not my Beloved Texas Blonde Pecan so I real quick fires off an email telling them the problem and what do they say to me on the response ?
You peeked ....
"Keep it with our compliments we are sending you your Texas Blonde Pecan fruit cake today."

Man I like those folks at Collin Street Bakery in Corsicanna, Texas.
So I got Two fruit cakes for this solstice season.

I feel positively "Rich" ....
speaking of rich I had better go make another "quality control" test of the Deluxe Fruit Cake.
I certainly do suffer in the name of science .... sigh ....

Back later ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 10, 2008, 08:01:29 am
This economy thing is really starting to get serious! I looked at the "fruit" for my usual fruitcake bake, and about hyperventilated right there in the grocery store at the price! My gift fruitcakes are going to be much smaller this year... and I can hear the grumbling already. One small consolation... they won't use up quite so much of the brandy and spiced rum. Of course, that's a lot more expensive too. Woe is me...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 10, 2008, 08:10:00 am
This economy thing is really starting to get serious! I looked at the "fruit" for my usual fruitcake bake, and about hyperventilated right there in the grocery store at the price! My gift fruitcakes are going to be much smaller this year... and I can hear the grumbling already. One small consolation... they won't use up quite so much of the brandy and spiced rum. Of course, that's a lot more expensive too. Woe is me...

Times get tougher and the fruitcake economy grows smaller ML... :laugh:

I saw a recipe for Orange Zest and Chocolate fruitcake, sounded good.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 10, 2008, 10:09:16 am

Chocolate in a Fruit Cake ?

Is that ... {furtive glances both directions ....}  legal ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Canadian Mamma on December 10, 2008, 10:53:31 am
This economy thing is really starting to get serious! I looked at the "fruit" for my usual fruitcake bake, and about hyperventilated right there in the grocery store at the price! My gift fruitcakes are going to be much smaller this year... and I can hear the grumbling already. One small consolation... they won't use up quite so much of the brandy and spiced rum. Of course, that's a lot more expensive too. Woe is me...

Times get tougher and the fruitcake economy grows smaller ML... :laugh:

I saw a recipe for Orange Zest and Chocolate fruitcake, sounded good.

O.K. I just Googled that and found a scrumptious looking recipe.  If I have time to whip a Orange Chocolate Fruitcakes I'll get back to you on how it actually tastes.  Lets see I need to get a few things and it only snowed 30 centimeters last night, schools are all closed, a bit snowed in but I got a plan.....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 10, 2008, 11:05:13 am

Chocolate in a Fruit Cake ?

Is that ... {furtive glances both directions ....}  legal ?

Absolutely, most people think fruitcakes are only the Citrion, meaning the candied Cherries and Pineapple and what have you, in fact there are several variants that are made up of different ingreidents.

Think of them as...Contrarian Fruitcakes... :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 10, 2008, 01:35:44 pm
Hmmm, chocolate and orange zest... doesn't sound like it would have the regulation amount of fruit to qualify as a fruitcake. I can picture it made with raisins, currents, dried cranberries and almonds, then soaked in spiced rum.

Ok, I LIKE spiced rum.  ^_^

So, do post a recipe when you can. Could be marvelous. :)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: sharp_shepherd on December 10, 2008, 02:41:59 pm
Fruitcake as a survival food.  Hmmm, i think i might just choose death.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 10, 2008, 03:01:48 pm
Fruitcake as a survival food.  Hmmm, i think i might just choose death.

Gee that's too bad, guy. But, you see, in the end that just means...

More fruitcake for the rest of us!! Bwaaaaahaaaahaaa

 ^_^ :rolleyes: ^_^
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 10, 2008, 09:21:34 pm

Chocolate in a Fruit Cake ?

Is that ... {furtive glances both directions ....}  legal ?

Absolutely, most people think fruitcakes are only the Citrion, meaning the candied Cherries and Pineapple and what have you, in fact there are several variants that are made up of different ingreidents.

Think of them as...Contrarian Fruitcakes... :laugh:

I had to go wash my hands before I typed the following:

"Our Texas Blonde Pecan Cake is made with golden pineapple and papaya from our farms in Costa Rica, ripe red cherries, plump golden raisins, and mammoth pecan halves. These ingredients are combined with our honey-rich batter, and drizzled with our secret glaze. Every cake is handsomely decorated with two rows of pecans for an elegant presentation."
From the Collin Street Bakery flyer catalog. :notworthy:

*Sigh*  Now That's a Fruit Cake.

==========

Can I have his if he's gonna croak on us Padre ?
Can I huh ?  Can I .... ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: kirgi07 on December 10, 2008, 09:25:00 pm
Try one with fresh cinnamon/melted butter and french vanilla ice cream. Ought 7.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 11, 2008, 11:45:41 am
Try one with fresh cinnamon/melted butter and french vanilla ice cream. Ought 7.  :rolleyes:

Mumph yuff sauff ?
{swallows large mouthful fo fruit cake ....}
Sorry ... What'd you say ?

French Vanilla Ice Cream ?   That's no fair ! ... I claims a foul !

French Vanilla ?  Why  .... Why that's Uhn-Uhmurrican ain't it ?

I'm sure I read that in here somewhere ....
{Rapidly speed reading his tattered but much revered Fruit Cake Worshipers Handbook}

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: sharp_shepherd on December 11, 2008, 12:25:24 pm
Fruitcake as a survival food.  Hmmm, i think i might just choose death.

Gee that's too bad, guy. But, you see, in the end that just means...

More fruitcake for the rest of us!! Bwaaaaahaaaahaaa

 ^_^ :rolleyes: ^_^
Yuk and by all mean have at it Mama, i think i might cave if i ran out of bugs.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Jebur27 on December 14, 2008, 09:41:40 am
Fruitcake as a survival food.  Hmmm, i think i might just choose death.

Gee that's too bad, guy. But, you see, in the end that just means...

More fruitcake for the rest of us!! Bwaaaaahaaaahaaa

 ^_^ :rolleyes: ^_^
Yuk and by all mean have at it Mama, i think i might cave if i ran out of bugs.
That's probably because you've only had mass-marketed fruit cake.  Try a home-made one once.   :drool:
Free Range Fruitcake (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/free-range-fruitcake-recipe/index.html)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 14, 2008, 11:03:17 am
My favorite honey fruitcake recipe. First get a nice bottle of spiced rum. (I did mention I LIKE spiced rum, I think...) Heck, get two of them. Any sort of high proof liquor will do nicely. The fruit type schnapps are wonderful.

Taste the rum. You wouldn't want to go to all the trouble of making fruit cake if the rum was no good, would you? Why not taste the second bottle too? Might not be the same.

In a big bowl, mix 2 cups warm honey, 1/2 cup soft butter and 1/2 cup warm water. Beat in a mixture of 4 cups flour, 3 tsp. baking powder, and 1 1/2 tsp. salt. Add 1 tsp. apple or pumpkin pie spice if desired (see below)

Taste the rum, just to be sure it's still good...

When well mixed, knead in 1 1/2 cup chopped, dried fruit and 1/2 cup chopped nuts (any nuts but peanut- see variations below).

Divide into two portions and put into large greased loaf pans.  Place a pan of water on the bottom rack of the oven to increase the moisture. Bake at 350 for about 40 minutes.

If you are still tasting the rum, don't forget to set a timer and don't leave the room!!

Remove fruitcake from the oven and allow to cool on a rack. Turn out of the pans and place in a paper food grade box or other clean container that will hold moisture. Poke holes in the cake with a clean ice pick or bamboo skewer. Slowly pour on rum until it begins to pool in the bottom of the box. Cover loaves tightly and store in a cool, dry place. Will keep for up to three years.

If there is rum left over, you are in luck!! Enjoy!!!

Apple Pie spice: This can be purchased or mix the following
3 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. cloves

Pumpkin Pie spice:
3 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ginger
1 tsp. allspice

Chopped dried fruit can be almost anything. I've made this with dried apricots (use an apricot schnapps instead of spiced rum). The best nuts are pecans, white (English) walnuts, hazelnuts or almonds. I plan to make at least one fruitcake this year with dried cranberries and raisins using a cinnamon schnapps.

The various possible combinations are almost unlimited. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 14, 2008, 01:38:44 pm
Uhm  ML ? 
{doing his best ...  puppy with the wiggles imitation ... with sly grin }
[I will never be able to do this maneuver as well as my dog Speckles could ....
may he be happy while waiting at the Rainbow Bridge ...]

Am I on your fruit cake mailing list ? Huh ? Am I ? Huh ?

I could be your rum taster ....  I've got Some experience with that aspect of rum cake  er fruit cake baking.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 14, 2008, 01:59:20 pm
Am I on your fruit cake mailing list ? Huh ? Am I ? Huh ?

I could be your rum taster ....  I've got Some experience with that aspect of rum cake  er fruit cake baking.

Well, the rum tasting part is not something I could delegate in good conscience... ah, I mean, it's just something I have to do for myself... If it wasn't just right, how could I forgive myself? LOL

But I'd be glad to send you a fruitcake.  :) PM an address.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on December 14, 2008, 02:20:16 pm
   Hey, Mama L! What comes after the tasting part? I forgot, so kept repeating the part I remembered.

   Shorty Dawkins
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 14, 2008, 02:20:58 pm
BUT ... But I could give you a "Special Rummies er ... Patriots Rate " on my Gooches Baked Goods Sampling Service .

{ I've gotta get a new Lure  er Line .... }








PM inbound
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 14, 2008, 02:29:09 pm
   Hey, Mama L! What comes after the tasting part? I forgot, so kept repeating the part I remembered.

   Shorty Dawkins

Yes, that can get to be a real problem. You must balance the tasting part VERY CAREFULLY with the baking part... otherwise, you might wind up with the bottle in the oven and that could be a real disaster! LOL

And, those who are baking challenged should probably find someone to work with... you know, team effort. You taste, they bake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on December 14, 2008, 02:36:18 pm
   Hey, Mama L! What comes after the tasting part? I forgot, so kept repeating the part I remembered.

   Shorty Dawkins

Yes, that can get to be a real problem. You must balance the tasting part VERY CAREFULLY with the baking part... otherwise, you might wind up with the bottle in the oven and that could be a real disaster! LOL

And, those who are baking challenged should probably find someone to work with... you know, team effort. You taste, they bake.

I've got the tasting part down pat. Now, as to the baking part, I thought I had one helper but now there are two. Hm... time out for another taste. Whoops, now I have four helpers, baking four fruitcakes. Oops.... spilled some rum on my shirt.... now, where was I. Oh well. Time for another taste. Darn, I finished one bottle,.... or was that two. Oh, well, time for another taste. Wow, it sure is crowded in here. There are eight helpers now. The weird thing is, they're all wearing the same clothes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on December 14, 2008, 02:46:50 pm
   Whoopeeeeeeee! This tasting part is fun! Down with the Kaiser! Yep, and down with Rockefeller, too. Whooopeeeeeeee!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 14, 2008, 02:47:27 pm
I understand. I must taste sparingly... VERY small kitchen here.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on December 14, 2008, 02:52:06 pm
I understand. I must taste sparingly... VERY small kitchen here.  :laugh:

Excuse me, but I need to leave the kitchen for a minute. Um,,,, which way is....... nevermind.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 14, 2008, 03:45:31 pm

Any one of those six doors over there should get you to the back yard Shorty ....

Maybe that recipe should specify a half pint of rum .... ?  Naw where's the fun in that ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on December 14, 2008, 05:00:20 pm

Any one of those six doors over there should get you to the back yard Shorty ....

Maybe that recipe should specify a half pint of rum .... ?  Naw where's the fun in that ?

  I'm feeling more like myself, now. A little cleanup (YUK!) and all is well. Never did get around to making the fruitcake. Ah well, manyana.

  Shorty Dawkins
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Apple on December 15, 2008, 01:17:08 pm
Keep the rum! I'm taking the Texas Blonde with mammoth pecan halves and plump golden raisins on top. :thrbiggrin:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Howard on January 09, 2009, 04:46:52 am
Mmh, fruitcake. Now I'm hungry!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on January 09, 2009, 06:46:50 pm

Hey Howard,

Welcome to the Secret Survival Food thread.  And TMM.

Any especially tasty recipes or formulae will be Much appreciated.
[Particularly if Gosling's Black Seal dark rum is involved ....  :rolleyes: ]

While it is not at all required .... you Might want to do some background reading so as to get caught up here on the Fruit Cake thread.

There was a discussion on the ballistics of properly aged fruit cake at one point.   :ph34r:    :rolleyes:

There is also a thread hereabouts that is all about the pretend food    :ph34r:  Twinkies.
Beware of the challenge to read it through from the start .... we have lost more than one n00bie in the attempt.

See ya round the boards ....

gooch
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on January 10, 2009, 06:19:37 am
Now gooch, you DON'T want to start the Twinkies/fruitcake wars again, do you? Shhhhhhhh
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Apple on January 10, 2009, 08:17:33 am
Twinkie? What's that?

"Our Texas Blonde Pecan Cake is made with golden pineapple and papaya from our farms in Costa Rica, ripe red cherries, plump golden raisins, and mammoth pecan halves. These ingredients are combined with our honey-rich batter, and drizzled with our secret glaze. Every cake is handsomely decorated with two rows of pecans for an elegant presentation."

I REST my case, your honor.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 02, 2009, 10:19:25 pm
                    Sacrilege caught on digital camera.


A fruit cake shoot.
OK so far so good. I mean we here on this board we have discussed their ballistic coefficient before and their booolit stopping ability BUT these heretics are shooting the fruit cakes not shooting things with fruit cakes.
Oh the horror .... the humanity .... the poor defenseless fruit cakes {sob....} I can barely manage to post these links ....

At target range, a fruitcake shoot (http://www.thedailyjournal.com/article/20090126/NEWS01/901260312)

Then the evidence (http://www.thedailyjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Avis=A8&Dato=20090124&Kategori=NEWS01&Lopenr=901240801&Ref=PH)

I need to go have a slice of fruit cake and put my feet up.  I'm feeling whoosey ....


{those poor defenseless fruit cakes ....}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: charles brough on February 17, 2009, 03:18:59 pm

Some folks disdain the little lumps of weight, they sneer at the lowly fruitcake.

Why I ask? Why?

These little brickish loaves are chock full of the kind of surival stuff that Epic tales are made of.

Walnuts, Cherries, Pineapple, Butter, Rum, Grain of some sort, why if they had named them "emergency survival logs" people would order them by the case full.

They last forever, I can honestly say that after 3 years in a longterm storage device (a metal tin with with a design on the top of it) they taste the same as they did when they came out of the oven.

So do not turn your back on this cake with the approximate density of a Dwarf Star, become the "Fruit Cake" maven of your area, it may save your life in a tight spot.

The lowly Fruitcake, long may you be regifted...... :laugh:

I advise caution!  Real food is not storage-able.  It has to be adulterated in order to enable it to not spoil.  In other words, it has to have poison put into it.

Aside from that, there could be a lot more inside it.  Here is a list of chemicals I found listed on the outside of a box of fruit cake I bought in a dollar store:

Mononitrate
sodium benzoate
sorbic acid
sulfur dioxide
chemical colorings
propylene glycol
monoesters
monoycerides
diycerides
sodium caseinate
artificial flavors
sodium acid pyrophosphate
sodium bicarbonate
mono calcium phosphate
sodium propionate
potassium sorbate


Beware! A chemical bath like this in a sensitive stomach can get you up several times during the night---not even to mention what very much of it can do when repeated over time!

charles
http://atheistic-science.com

 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 17, 2009, 03:24:05 pm

Some folks disdain the little lumps of weight, they sneer at the lowly fruitcake.

Why I ask? Why?

These little brickish loaves are chock full of the kind of surival stuff that Epic tales are made of.

Walnuts, Cherries, Pineapple, Butter, Rum, Grain of some sort, why if they had named them "emergency survival logs" people would order them by the case full.

They last forever, I can honestly say that after 3 years in a longterm storage device (a metal tin with with a design on the top of it) they taste the same as they did when they came out of the oven.

So do not turn your back on this cake with the approximate density of a Dwarf Star, become the "Fruit Cake" maven of your area, it may save your life in a tight spot.

The lowly Fruitcake, long may you be regifted...... :laugh:

I advise caution!  Real food is not storage-able.  It has to be adulterated in order to enable it to not spoil.  In other words, it has to have poison put into it.

Aside from that, there could be a lot more inside it.  Here is a list of chemicals I found listed on the outside of a box of fruit cake I bought in a dollar store:

Mononitrate
sodium benzoate
sorbic acid
sulfur dioxide
chemical colorings
propylene glycol
monoesters
monoycerides
diycerides
sodium caseinate
artificial flavors
sodium acid pyrophosphate
sodium bicarbonate
mono calcium phosphate
sodium propionate
potassium sorbate


Beware! A chemical bath like this in a sensitive stomach can get you up several times during the night---not even to mention what very much of it can do when repeated over time!

charles
http://atheistic-science.com

 

Nay gentle Sir, nay.

I pray thee, list one ingredient more no longer, our fellow countrymen will consider themselves accursed and hungry on their beds while they that dine with us, consume fruit cake this day!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Klapton Isgod on February 17, 2009, 03:26:44 pm
I thought good-ol-fashioned liquor was the preservative of choice for fruit cake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 17, 2009, 06:01:49 pm
I thought good-ol-fashioned liquor was the preservative of choice for fruit cake?

Well Of Course it is ....

I have no idea what poor charles has had foisted off on himself but I am pretty sure that anything made by "dollar store" (?) is not actual fruit cake.

Where is that list of ingredients for the Texas Blonde Fruit Cake from Collins Street Bakery ?

Ah  here it is ....

Quote
Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
« Reply #440 by Apple on: January 10, 2009, 07:17:33 AM »

Twinkie? What's that?
Quote
Quote from: gooch on December 10, 2008, 08:21:34 PM
"Our Texas Blonde Pecan Cake is made with golden pineapple and papaya from our farms in Costa Rica, ripe red cherries, plump golden raisins, and mammoth pecan halves. These ingredients are combined with our honey-rich batter, and drizzled with our secret glaze. Every cake is handsomely decorated with two rows of pecans for an elegant presentation."
I REST my case, your honor.

As to the list of chemicals charles posted .... I am completely adrift.  I cannot even imagine putting those things into anything a human was going to put into their mouth let alone an actual Fruit Cake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 18, 2009, 10:09:16 pm


That sounds like a tastee Fruit Cake Gooch.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 18, 2009, 10:28:28 pm


That sounds like a tastee Fruit Cake Gooch.

Yum.  Tastee is not nearly strong enough a word padre.

Them folks at Collin Street Bakery sure do know how to make a Fruit Cake let me tell you ....

Collin Street Bakery (https://www.collinstreet.com/)

The Texas Blonde [mentioned above] is my personal favorite but even their standard "Deluxe Fruit Cake" is pretty tastee yes sirree.

They even have a Fruit Cake made with dried apricots. 
[So I just HAD to send one to someone we know who enjoys most things made with apricots .... ]

my pirate side just sorta took over you know ?  :icon_pirat:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 04, 2009, 09:44:19 pm

14 days is long enough Right ?

I mean we are still on the first page but 14 days ?

I need to go have some Fruit Cake.

Mumble  mumble  mumble
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: jimp220 on March 05, 2009, 08:50:23 pm
I remember selling fruitcakes for band fundraising in High school, ~1972ish, Texas Manor was the company I think, they were awesome. 
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on March 24, 2009, 03:27:07 pm
Mmmmmm I love fruitcake !
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 24, 2009, 04:51:22 pm
Mmmmmm I love fruitcake !

Welcome to the Anti Twinkie Revoluccion'!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 24, 2009, 09:00:35 pm
I remember selling fruitcakes for band fundraising in High school, ~1972ish, Texas Manor was the company I think, they were awesome. 

Well, Well, well  jimp220 has been holding out on us.

First of all WELCOME to the actual food thread jimp220 and zookeeper .... Nyah, nyah ML .... :thrbiggrin:
And for bringing yet another source of the secret survival food to our attention.

Welcome Indeed.

Where's the coffee pot ? We should try one of these little darling's  .... you have tried one recently right ?

Poor charles B had a chemistry experiment foisted off on himself.

One does need to be berry berry careful with berri-berri and rickets which I think you can catch from not eating enough Fruit Cake.
We should order up one of these little darling's and try it out.

Texas Manor Fruit Cakes (http://www.yahoocake.com/cgi-bin/yahoo/CManor.htm)  at The Original Ya-Hoo Baking Company of Sherman, Texas.

{And people ask me why I chose Texas to hide out in .... humph.  Three excellent Fruit Cake bakers in One little state .... where else would I live ?}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on March 25, 2009, 09:13:26 am
Quote
Nyah, nyah ML ...

?? What's up with that? I LOVE fruitcake, and I've never dirtied my mouth with those other things. :)

Welcome to the new fruitcakes... er, fruitcake lovers.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 25, 2009, 11:11:48 pm
Quote
Nyah, nyah ML ...

?? What's up with that? I LOVE fruitcake, and I've never dirtied my mouth with those other things. :)

Welcome to the new fruitcakes... er, fruitcake lovers.  :rolleyes:

Just pokin' back ML  ["Now gooch, you DON'T want to start the Twinkies/fruitcake wars again, do you? Shhhhhhhh" ]

If I didn't you'd think I had lost interest right ?  :threvil:

Pact = I will let you know when your sense of humor gets too close to the "line" IMO and HOPE you will do the same for me ?

AFAIK this whole thread is about having fun  ... uhm I mean surviving with the one true secret survival food.   :rolleyes:

           
Fruit Cake !
[/color]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on March 26, 2009, 07:59:12 am
No wars, definitely! It's so hard to keep your fruitcake nice and fresh with all that mud and stuff flying around.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Nomads2 on March 27, 2009, 12:42:17 pm
My DH is a fruitcake fan, but is especially partial to Claxton fruitcakes.  :rolleyes:  They don't last very long in our abode, but I suppose that, if the fruitcake got a little old, you could douse it with rum or whiskey.  As a preservative, only, of course.  :angel:

(BTW, I don't know if the company has been mentioned here before, and the search engine isn't working for me at the moment, but Claxton fruitcakes are made in Georgia:  http://www.claxtonfruitcake.com/)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 27, 2009, 06:46:03 pm
OK  Now I'm curious  .... Padre ?   

           HEY   PAA DRE  !

Has anyone made a list of all of the bakeries of Fruit Cakes we have had recommended here ?

What ?  Who ?  Me ?  You know I can't read or write anglish.   :rolleyes:

It was just an idea ....  anybody feel "up to the task" ?

I remember recommending Collin Street Bakery, Corsicanna, Texas.
< https://www.collinstreet.com/ >
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: OLD TIRED RN on March 29, 2009, 02:10:40 am
I'm still looking for some kind of cake or pie that I don't like.  I guess anything with mint in it is about the only thing I don't seem to be able to eat. If you could see me and my labs you'd know why.

                                                                   RN
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on April 06, 2009, 12:52:00 pm
   In the Egyptian Mystery School, fruitcake holds a special veneration.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 06, 2009, 02:32:02 pm
So that's what that little black beetle looking thingie is in my Fruit Cakes.
Hard as a rock too.
An Egyptian "Special" veneration .... who'd a thunk it ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: ShortyDawkins on April 06, 2009, 03:16:36 pm
So that's what that little black beetle looking thingie is in my Fruit Cakes.
Hard as a rock too.
An Egyptian "Special" veneration .... who'd a thunk it ?

I can't slip anything past you, good buddy.

Shorty Dawkins
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 06, 2009, 09:35:03 pm
When it comes to Fruit Cake I am a little curious ....
Well OK maybe more than a little .... :thrbiggrin:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: libertygal78 on April 07, 2009, 08:59:12 pm
I've never actually had fruitcake (that I can recall) but from everything I've heard/read about it, under current circumstances, there is no reason I can think of that would make me want to eat a piece.

But with that said, in a disaster scenario (like if TSHTF), if it came to a choice between hunger or fruitcake, then the fear of starvation would cause the fruitcake to win out!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on April 07, 2009, 10:09:18 pm
Sacrilege                 :nono:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on April 07, 2009, 10:44:29 pm
I've never actually had fruitcake (that I can recall) but from everything I've heard/read about it, under current circumstances, there is no reason I can think of that would make me want to eat a piece.

But with that said, in a disaster scenario (like if TSHTF), if it came to a choice between hunger or fruitcake, then the fear of starvation would cause the fruitcake to win out!

There are several different types of fruitcake though, what most people associate with fruitcake, the Citron, is a sort of "cram" of the fruitcake world.

The rum and chocolate one sounds yummy.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 08, 2009, 10:27:30 am

I've never actually had fruitcake (that I can recall) but from everything I've heard/read about it, under current circumstances, there is no reason I can think of that would make me want to eat a piece.

But with that said, in a disaster scenario (like if TSHTF), if it came to a choice between hunger or fruitcake, then the fear of starvation would cause the fruitcake to win out!
Welcome libertygal78,

At risk of sounding like a Fruit Cake  er ... Fruit Cake Salesman may I suggest that you sample some of the truly delicious Fruit Cakes from some of the commercial bakeries that have been referenced to here on this thread ?

I think that IF you actually Try a good quality Fruit Cake you will enjoy it. Two that I can recommend [from personal experience] are:

Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/) [I am Very Partial to their Blonde Pecan Cake which is a Fruit Cake although they don't call it that.]
AND ....
Claxton Fruit Cakes (http://www.claxtonfruitcake.com/products.php)

And some that I have not had the pleasure of personally experiencing ....
Texas Manor Fruit Cakes (http://www.yahoocake.com/cgi-bin/yahoo/CManor.htm)
And ....
There is always Free Range Fruit Cake (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/free-range-fruitcake-recipe/index.html) ....

More are listed in the dusty archives of this thread.
IF you go in there do remember to take pencil and paper to record all of the different manufacturers that are listed. [As well as some water and a survival rations worth of Fruit Cake. Of Course.]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 28, 2009, 11:47:30 am

Okay,
I understand that personal business has kept us all from keeping this thread high up on page one.
I myself have had some really bad and some really good things happen since the 7th.

So *Bump*.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DirtyLowDown on May 10, 2009, 06:47:22 pm
Fellow Mental Militia Members,

I haven't swam through this whole thread yet, and if I did, I would probably never eat anything again.

 :thrbiggrin:

I remember Andy Rooney pointing out that there are actually only 23 fruitcakes in the entire world.  No one actually eats them, but instead everyone gives them to everyone else at Christmas, then the recipients save them until next Christmas and re-gift them.  If that is the case, then fruitcakes must be the bread sop for the famed Fountain of Youth.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 10, 2009, 09:19:58 pm
Fellow Mental Militia Members,

I haven't swam through this whole thread yet, and if I did, I would probably never eat anything but Fruit Cake again.

 :thrbiggrin:

I remember Andy Rooney pointing out that there are actually only 23 fruitcakes in the entire world.  No one actually eats them, but instead everyone gives them to everyone else at Christmas, then the recipients save them until next Christmas and re-gift them.  If that is the case, then fruitcakes must be the bread sop for the famed Fountain of Youth.



Just a little help there DLD.
No Offense meant.

I do in fact recommend that you spend the time [reading the whole thread] BUT that is a personal choice for you to make.
There are much longer threads to be sure ....

Most of us "here" do actually eat and store fruit cakes.
Despite the humor displayed on its behalf fruit cakes really are a nutritious, long lasting, real food, calorie source.
For those with no requirement of actually surviving on their food stores there is this thread (http://thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=2214.0).
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DirtyLowDown on May 10, 2009, 10:09:08 pm
Howdy, Gooch!

You wrote:

Quote
Just a little help there DLD.
No Offense meant.

No offense taken, but for the record, I did not say anything good about fruitcake, so I don't want the so-called Center for Science in the Public Interest picketing at my place when they choose fruitcake as their new Hated Flavor of the Month.

:protest: :protest: :protest:   :whip2:


Quote
I do in fact recommend that you spend the time [reading the whole thread] BUT that is a personal choice for you to make.
There are much longer threads to be sure ....

Most of us "here" do actually eat and store fruit cakes.
Despite the humor displayed on its behalf fruit cakes really are a nutritious, long lasting, real food, calorie source.
For those with no requirement of actually surviving on their food stores there is this thread.


You ain't kiddin'.  207 pages on Twinkies!  That is a recipe for reducing caloric intake if ever there was one!  And I bet the Twinkie they're talking about hasn't molded, rotted, or drew rats and roaches yet!

  :sign10:

On a more serious note, some form of dried fruits and nuts are always a welcome addition to a survival pantry.  I love not only raisins, but dried cranberries, blueberries, cherries, coconut, and pineapple and I also love peanuts, walnuts, cashews, Brazil nuts, and soy nuts.  They all make good GORP mix for camping and hiking. 

 I just never got into the taste of fruits, nuts, and cake mixed together in an incoherent loaf, though, even if the rum is still potent.  To each their own, though.  Whatever freaky-deakiness people do with their food is fine with me.  As Seinfeld would say: "...Not that there's anything wro-o-o-ong with that..."

 :threvil:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on May 10, 2009, 11:03:25 pm


There are different varieties of fruitcake, the one you are thinking of is called "citreon", the double chocolate and rum one sounds tastee, and Gooch is partial to the blonde one.

And if one is harvesting your own fruit, you have to have a way to preserve it and back in the day, making fruitcake was one such way, dating all the way back to the Crusades back then it was known as waybread.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DirtyLowDown on May 12, 2009, 01:05:47 am
Howdy, Padre!

Interesting Blog you have there and a great choice of reading from Mr. Pugsley.

 :thumbsup:

When people ask me if I am a "Bear" or a "Bull" on investments, I always tell them: "I'm neither a 'Bear' nor a 'Bull,' but a 'Wolf,' as in 'Alpha Wolf,' as in The Alpha Strategy."   

From there, I introduce them to the book and it's ideas, but so far, no takers.  Oh well.  'Means more for me.

:threvil:

Quote
There are different varieties of fruitcake, the one you are thinking of is called "citreon", the double chocolate and rum one sounds tastee, and Gooch is partial to the blonde one.

And if one is harvesting your own fruit, you have to have a way to preserve it and back in the day, making fruitcake was one such way, dating all the way back to the Crusades back then it was known as waybread.

You are so right about the need for preservation and it is true that sugar-ing and soaking in alcohol are among the best wet methods of preservation for fruit.

Sugared frozen strawberries and blueberries were always a favorite of mine when I ate dessert at my Grandmothers.  The sugar would help the berries last for years in the freezer while still retaining good taste.  Since I am trying to stay away from high-fructose corn syrup, and too much processed sugar, I suppose honey might make a better choice.

Still, for all the preservative benefits of sugar and alcohol, I just can't bring myself to like fruitcake much.  And, of course, association with religious barbarism from any creed doesn't make it sound too palatable either.

:thrbarf:

Maybe it's just the particular combination of tastes in fruitcake that always turned me off to fruitcake.  I'm real particular about things like that.

For example, I have tried those orange-flavored chocolates shaped like orange wedges and wrapped to look like an orange and I never really liked them.  Chocolate and oranges are both sweet and are both good, but they are two different kinds of sweet that just don't go together to my taste.

Maybe if I had just the right combination of fruits and nuts, I would change my mind about fruitcake.  I do like banana nut bread.  Are there any fruitcakes that are like a hard-liquored-up version of banana nut bread?

 :huh:

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 12, 2009, 09:02:02 am

[snip]
[snip]

Maybe if I had just the right combination of fruits and nuts, I would change my mind about fruitcake.  I do like banana nut bread.  Are there any fruitcakes that are like a hard-liquored-up version of banana nut bread?

 :huh:



Yep.

Follow some of those links to the fruit cake bakeries in some of the earlier posts and you will find various "cakes" which fit the profile of "fruit cake" even when they are called something else. [The 802 "Blonde" Pecan cake from Collin Street Bakeries for example.]

Did I ever say Welcome to the thread ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DirtyLowDown on May 12, 2009, 04:27:26 pm
Dear Gooch,

Thank you for the welcome.  I'll try to find the recipes when I can, but it may take some days to search the thread, since I am trying to not be so sedentary.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on June 22, 2009, 05:13:07 am
Fruitcackes make better paperweights than twinkies.



Edit:
I just drank alot of sake, but for some reason don't feel tipsy at all. My insomnia is still here.
Kuso! :angry:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on June 23, 2009, 02:26:15 pm
Does anyone know a recipie for a corn fruit cake? I'm alergic to wheat and milk.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on June 23, 2009, 06:02:08 pm
Fruicake song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA_0P002GJE
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on June 24, 2009, 11:13:48 am
This may sound more grouse then the person that ate dog. I had ran out of food and being a dumb teen I didn't know where to go and get help. Also wanting to show I could take care of myself I saw this fruitcake that had been in my family for 20 years. Needless to say I ate it. I was surprised that it didn't have any mold on it and it didn't taste bad. So fruitcake is a very good survival food. Now to find all the different recipes for making it.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on June 24, 2009, 11:52:02 am
This may sound more grouse then the person that ate dog. I had ran out of food and being a dumb teen I didn't know where to go and get help. Also wanting to show I could take care of myself I saw this fruitcake that had been in my family for 20 years. Needless to say I ate it. I was surprised that it didn't have any mold on it and it didn't taste bad. So fruitcake is a very good survival food. Now to find all the different recipes for making it.

SOME here may "joke" around with the venerable Fruit Cake :notworthy: BUT ....
The practice of the preservation of food and other things using alcohol is a very old process with a very good record of accomplishment.
Ask a Brit about "Nelson's Blood" for example.

from Wikipedia:
"A story involving naval rum is that following his victory at the Battle of Trafalgar, Horatio Nelson's body was preserved in a cask of rum to allow transport back to England. Upon arrival, however, the cask was opened and found to be empty of rum. The pickled body was removed and, upon inspection, it was discovered that the sailors had drilled a hole in the bottom of the cask and drunk all the rum, in the process drinking Nelson's blood. Thus, this tale serves as a basis for the term Nelson's Blood being used to describe rum. It also serves as the basis for the term "Tapping the Admiral" being used to describe drinking the daily rum ration. The details of the story are disputed, as many historians claim the cask contained French Brandy whilst others claim instead the term originated from a toast to Admiral Nelson.[21] It should be noted that variations of the story, involving different notable corpses, have been in circulation for many years.[22]"

Rum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rum)

"This may sound more grouse then the person that ate dog."

I will assume that you meant gross as in unacceptable BUT I will draw your attention to the fact that the offer of puppy stew was the highest food complement available to the plains Americans prior to the invasion of the "Manifest Destiny" greed driven hordes.
Tender and tasty it was considered a delicacy and it was a welcome change from dried buffalo. It was considered an honor to be offered fresh puppy stew. A valuable, future, cargo dragging dog had to be sacrificed to be able to offer it up.

That said, Dogs were highly valued and the fiercest of the Plains warriors were named "Dog Soldiers" for their fierceness and for a sash that they used similarly to the leash for their Guard Dogs. 

From Wikipedia "Dog Soldiers:
Dog Soldiers were noted as both highly aggressive and effective combatants. One tradition states that in battle they would "pin" themselves to a "chosen" piece of ground, through an unusually long breech-clout "rear-apron", by use of one of three "Sacred Arrows" they would constantly carry into battle."
[end of quote]

After pinning themselves to the ground they could not remove their "pin" [arrow] it had to be removed by another dog soldier or another Cheyenne.
In effect they were saying .... I will fight any and all who come HERE until I am allowed to move on by my brothers or I am Dead.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Canadian Mamma on June 24, 2009, 11:55:16 am
Does anyone know a recipie for a corn fruit cake? I'm alergic to wheat and milk.

Not exactly what you are looking for but with a bit of tweaking, fiddling with the fruits and such,  just might work:

Ingredients for gluten free blueberry fruit cake


4oz Blueberries
3ozRice flour
2oz Fine yellow cornmeal flour (fine polenta)
4oz Margarine
5oz Caster sugar
1 Vanilla pod
1/2 tsp Vanilla essence
2 Tbsp Ground flax seed
2oz Raisins
2oz Sultanas
1 tsp Xanthan gum
1oz Corn starch
1+1/2 tsp Baking powder
1/4 tsp Aniseed powder
1/4 tsp Cinnamon powder
Pinch salt
1oz Caster sugar
3 Heaped Tbsp Plain yogurt
Hot water

Sugar topping ingredients

3 heaped Tbsp caster sugar
1/4 tsp Cinnamon powder



How to make a gluten free blueberry fruit cake:


Soak the sultanas and raisins in enough water to just slightly cover the fruit with 1/4 tsp vanilla essence.



Cream together 5oz sugar and margarine vanilla seeds.

Add rice flour, cornmeal flour, corn starch, cinnamon, aniseed, salt, baking powder,. Mix dry ingredients into the margarine to form a pastry like dough.

Add the blueberries, drain the sultanas and raisins keeping the water to the side.

Add raisins to the mixer with the 1 ounce of sugar 3 level tablespoons of the fruit water and yogurt - mix carefully but well.

Add ground flax seed and a mix gently but well.


Pour into a greased and floured cake tin.

Place into a hot oven at gas mark 6 for 50-60 minutes or until a skewer comes out of the cake completely clean, switch off the oven and let the cake sit for 15 minutes.

Remove the cake from the oven.

Totally stole this recipe from here:

http://jeenaskitchen.blogspot.com/2008/03/cake-recipes.html

They have a lot of good gluten free cake recipes.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on June 24, 2009, 02:34:00 pm
Thanks CM, it's perfect! :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on August 08, 2009, 12:58:24 am
Im tired of looking at Twinkie posts I want some Fruitcake. :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 08, 2009, 01:07:37 am
Ahhh...
A new convert...
Title: Re: Fruitcake!!!!!! - naming names
Post by: Clip Johnson on August 24, 2009, 09:21:13 pm
.but my vote goes to the Southern Supreme fruitcake co. in NC - if you are in to fruitcakes, they make them in all useable sizes....they sold out once again for the holidays this year, but should start making them again by midyear....I don't know about their storage life......the company has a seasonal staff, since fruitcake is considered a fall/winter holiday treat. There are bus tours to the plant as well..... Just google them for the website...rgds, redclay 1/4/07

When I moved to NC a few years ago, I was told of this local company that made the best fruitcake. I must admit that I've always thought fruitcake was okay, but when I tried this stuff, it was like what's in this stuff. Dope? I was craving that stuff afterward. That sure is some unbelievably good fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on August 24, 2009, 10:43:51 pm
Name Dropper ....   :ph34r:

Take this ....
Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_cakes)

And this ....
Texas Blond Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_fruitcake)

And that ....
Apricot Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/apricot_pecan_cake)

Want some coffee with that ?

Welcome to the Fruit Cake :notworthy: thread.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 24, 2009, 11:20:58 pm
Apricot Pecan Cake looks divine.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Clip Johnson on August 25, 2009, 08:05:53 pm
Name Dropper ....   :ph34r:

Take this ....
Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_cakes)

And this ....
Texas Blond Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_fruitcake)

And that ....
Apricot Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/apricot_pecan_cake)

Want some coffee with that ?

Welcome to the Fruit Cake :notworthy: thread.


Mmmmm...... Those sound delicious gooch. Have you tried any of these tasty sounding selections as of yet?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Claire on August 25, 2009, 08:23:05 pm
Apricot Pecan Cake looks divine.

And IS. I can testify to that fact, as a recipient of goochly Texas Collin Street bounty. Mmmmmmm.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on August 25, 2009, 10:31:21 pm
Anyone have any Fruit Cake recipes to share? :icon_santa:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 25, 2009, 10:39:21 pm
Apricot Pecan Cake looks divine.

And IS. I can testify to that fact, as a recipient of goochly Texas Collin Street bounty. Mmmmmmm.



Lucky. Humf!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on August 25, 2009, 10:43:01 pm
Name Dropper ....   :ph34r:

Take this ....
Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_cakes)

And this ....
Texas Blond Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/pecan_fruitcake)

And that ....
Apricot Pecan Cake (http://www.collinstreet.com/pages/apricot_pecan_cake)

Want some coffee with that ?

Welcome to the Fruit Cake :notworthy: thread.


Mmmmm...... Those sound delicious gooch. Have you tried any of these tasty sounding selections as of yet?

I have had their Texas Blond [my favorite and one sits on my shelf even now  .... and IS tempting me the li'l devil ...], the Deluxe Fruit Cake [Very very good a little on the "sweet" side to my taste] and the Apricot Pecan Cake. [this cake is worth fighting for ... it and the Texas Blond]  Especially with Ice Cream or Whipped cream or YOUR favorite topping on it.
{What was it you used Claire ?  Home-made Iced Cream ?  How many pages back was that ?  Has it been so long already ?}

I have also sampled some of the other offerings when I went through a year or so back. Nice Folks.

All are delicious and well worth the wait in the mail.  [About a week IIRC]


Apricot Pecan Cake looks divine.

And IS. I can testify to that fact, as a recipient of goochly Texas Collin Street bounty. Mmmmmmm.



Ahem ... It was the fulfillment of a Gentleman's Promise as I recall ... ?  [a pirate's threat ?  nawww  not really ]
Tinny rate, I was pleased as can be to be able to do it.

Yessir GD.    I can heartily recommend all of the cakes listed above.  
Other than the thing about wheat that you mentioned.  You MIGHT want to ask before hand.
They MIGHT have some wheat free cakes.  I can't speak to that part.

Inexpensive they are not but delicious they most certainly Are.

[No they won't know my name if you call them and ask .... and its a real good thing I don't live any closer either.  :rolleyes:  ]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on August 25, 2009, 10:48:35 pm
Anyone have any Fruit Cake recipes to share? :icon_santa:

 If memory serves cordobablue there are some on this thread ... mixed in with the fruit cake ballistics  postulations and the proper method of utilization when used as armor and the effect of a properly trebuchet launched fruit cake.

Page numbers are beyond me.  I just eat the li'l devils.

Someone else Might know ...   :dontknow:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 25, 2009, 11:06:48 pm
I knew it all along! Gooch is a member of the order o' the venerable fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on August 25, 2009, 11:47:21 pm

But of course my good man.

Since I was a li'l tyke with crumbs on my shirt.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on August 26, 2009, 09:52:41 am
I should have said, "Does anyone have any other Fruit cake recipes?"  I want to gather as many fruit cake recipes as I can so I can try them all and see which ones we here like then I can try to make a some of each we like and hide them from the future. If they family don't know I have them they will be great for deserts when TSHTF.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Canadian Mamma on October 16, 2009, 07:46:48 pm
Just a friendly reminder if you bake those types of fruitcakes that are soaked in.....oh say...rum or something to help preserve freshness and add unique tasty moisture.  It needs 6 to 8 weeks to really garner the flavours in an exceptionally pleasing way.

Start your baking plans and Get'em in the oven soon. :wub:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on October 16, 2009, 08:29:48 pm
I guess I'll need another bottle of bourbon before Christmas.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on November 08, 2009, 04:55:55 pm
Four ounces of Gosling's Black Seal Rum from Bermuda in a large snifter with an eight ounce slice of the Texas Blonde Fruitcake from Collin Street Bakery in Corsicanna, Texas.

Ooh Yeah .... :drool:

{leaves to go wipe the drool from his chin}
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 08, 2009, 10:33:35 pm
Four ounces of Gosling's Black Seal Rum from Bermuda in a large snifter with an eight ounce slice of the Texas Blonde Fruitcake from Collin Street Bakery in Corsicanna, Texas.

Ooh Yeah .... :drool:

{leaves to go wipe the drool from his chin}

Nice, and if anyone ends up with a rock hard citron fruitcake, dredge a slice flour, then egg, then fry it like French...err...fruitcake..toast..yummy.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on November 08, 2009, 10:52:49 pm
Padre ....

That's not fair ... it's late and you've got me Jonesing for Fruitcake Francais now.

With melted butter and real maple syr'ple.

:drool:

No Fair I tell You .... {mumble grumble ....}

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 09, 2009, 08:01:07 pm
Padre ....

That's not fair ... it's late and you've got me Jonesing for Fruitcake Francais now.

With melted butter and real maple syr'ple.

:drool:

No Fair I tell You .... {mumble grumble ....}



I'm gonna have to agree with the Captain on this one. That just ain't right.
(Leaves to eat cinnamon bread and baked apples with some cider to wash it all down.)
(Comes back to click "post" an hour or so later.)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: dragonfly09 on December 13, 2009, 02:48:08 pm
With the moisture in fruitcake (at least the ones I've tried), I'm surprised they don't go moldy. No?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Marc Christopher on December 24, 2009, 01:56:04 pm
I assume that "fruitcake" is a euphemism for nutritional food "density".  Many folks soon find that it takes ALOT of room to store a one year supply of food for four people.  Stocking food that is dense in both nutrition and weight per volume is to be seriously considered when making plans to hunker down.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 24, 2009, 05:54:12 pm
Actually ...

Fruit Cake is not any kind of euphemism for anything it is ...

The True Survival Food.

Food of Champions ...
Nectar of the Gods ...
Ambrosia ...
Delicacy of Freedom Lovers of every stripe and in every age ....

Why the very thought is making me feel better as I type these paltry feeble words of praise to

                        FRUITCAKE ! !

Oh and ah ... Welcome.

Got any Fruit Cake on you ?

A tour through the previous 33 pages will dispel any notion of euphemism's being used here on the Hallowed Ground of the Grand and Glorious ....

                        FRUITCAKE ! !

Thread.

Praised   be its name.

But yes you are correct in the thought that it's density is also a valued part of the secret survival food.

                        FRUITCAKE ! !
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 24, 2009, 06:01:20 pm


Made Fruitcake Muffins with left over batter this year Gooch, and they were really good.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 24, 2009, 06:13:40 pm
With the moisture in fruitcake (at least the ones I've tried), I'm surprised they don't go moldy. No?

Ah ... yes the moisture question.

It seems that IF one properly prepares and preserves one's Fruit Cake  one can keep them for extended periods of time.

Preserved in a good quality Rum [not that Puerto Rican lighter fluid made by the Bat people ... that is NOT Rum] or Brandy the moisture of the Rum keeps them soft and supple as well as increases their attractiveness to we poor sailors .... AND ...
The alcoholic content of the preservative protects them from Most airborne attackers like bacterii, spores and such. [except those darned 82nd Airborne types ... pesky devils those]

If it should happen that tragically a Fruit Cake   doesn't get prepared properly and it should dry out ... horrors .... After hanging the miscreant who allowed such a thing to happen the Fruit Cake  then reverts to its secondary duty as trebuchet projectile.

I do hope that I have been helpful in answering your question ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 24, 2009, 06:25:53 pm


Made Fruitcake Muffins with left over batter this year Gooch, and they were really good.



Hmmm ... Sounds interesting but I don't like that word "were" in your statement Padre.

I will assume that you are waiting until after the seasonal mail rush to mail out the samples to the ...
 
                         Faithful Protectors of the Fruit Cake  ?



Uhm ....
A Big muffin tin or small ?

Big I hope    :drool:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 24, 2009, 06:30:41 pm

There were no survivors Gooch, the Fruitcake Muffin was awesome as they were moist and the walnuts and fruit took center stage.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 24, 2009, 06:46:33 pm
Awwk ... !     Gone ?


Zounds ...  Tell me you Jest my Friend, my Comrade in Tin Foil, Fellow Protector of the

                  FRUIT CAKE  !

Horrors ...  It is nearly too much to bear ....


I am crushed, demoralized, nearly defeated BUT ....

I have a small stash of my own.

From the Corsicanna, Texas, Collin Street Bakery  a Texas Blonde Pecan [Fruit] Cake.

Those folks in Corsicanna sure can cook they just have a problem with proper terminology and nomenclature is all.

Off to salve my wounded heart with ...   FRUIT CAKE  !  Oops I mean FRUIT CAKE  !
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 25, 2009, 03:45:57 am
Just ate last years doorstop, and replaced it with the fresh one I got in this year's care package.   Gotta love edible door stops. :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Who...me? on December 25, 2009, 11:15:58 am
Just ate last years doorstop, and replaced it with the fresh one I got in this year's care package.   Gotta love edible door stops. :ph34r:

LOL...we generally don't wait that long...MIL makes a mean one from some old super secret family recipe that my wife will have to inherit.  Some crazed family tradition.  Same applies for her Sauerbraten w/ home made tater balls recipe. 

But she brought one over last night that is scrumptious.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on December 26, 2009, 03:51:41 pm
I made my first batch of Fruitcake and it came out great. I have noticed though that the way I have sealed them they seems to be getting stronger in the secret flavoring the longer it sits. Got them done a couple of weeks ago and ate one the day they where made then one yesterday. Yesterday's had a lot more Christmas cheer in it even though no more was added. LOL
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Who...me? on December 26, 2009, 07:04:08 pm
LOL ya that's called "aging".
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on December 26, 2009, 07:22:33 pm
I vaccumm sealed it. LOL.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 27, 2009, 10:02:31 am
most of the wine/liqour fermentation is anerobic, right?  HEY! maybe you just found one of those gulch businesses?  Wet Hen seasoned fruit breads, Bake goods that kick back!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on December 27, 2009, 10:43:13 pm
Well it sure taste like it gets stringer. Now to find out how long you can keep it before it goes bad. LOL
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on February 12, 2010, 02:47:21 am
They keep for all eternity.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on February 21, 2010, 05:42:33 pm
Just checked that fruitcake I made on the 12th of Dec. It still has a good seal and not mold. I was afraid that seeings it got stronger after 2 weeks that I might mold but no. when I make a new batch I'll have the adult family members eat it with me and see just how good it still is. Just have to make sure they all stay the night. lol
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 14, 2010, 04:15:09 pm
Saved from winding up on page two by the smallest of crumbs from a Texas Blonde Pecan [FRUIT] Cake from the Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana, Texas.

Whew !

Now I must needs go have a life sustaining sample from same.

[don't look this part gets messy ....]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 15, 2010, 02:37:31 pm
Is there a fruit cake with just wild berries in it? Specifically the kind you find in the NW US?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 16, 2010, 03:13:19 pm
Not to my knowledge PKL.

BUT ....
IF you do find or make one Please send me their address  so I can  ahem ... quality control the product ?

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 16, 2010, 03:22:24 pm
Will do Captain Crunch.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: jaaAf on March 28, 2010, 10:52:17 pm
It is with great trepidation I venture into this unknown thread, called a 'Trap' by some, and a required forum 'Rite de Passage' for newbies by others. The Twinkie thread was also pointed out as a requirement and since its brash existence is not shrouded by the secrecy and occultism associated with Fruit Cakes its location was discovered earlier and there I posted a feeble attempt at levity only to be brought low almost immediately by a near fatal attack of brain fever.

Thus my somewhat apprehensive foray into this arena, for while I have previously survived malaria, dengue fever, and attacks of Fever of Unknown Origin (yes, let there be no doubt about it, attacks by FUOs are real and well documented.), onslaughts of cholera or bubonic plague are not something I look forward to. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained; and while it is humiliating to be brought so low as to be made to feel like a damn Twinkie, if fall I must then let it be with courage going forward and let all say that while he was obviously nuttier than a Fruit Cake his actions did not bring dis-honor upon the FC brotherhood.

jaaAf
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 29, 2010, 01:40:35 am
To jaaAf, Novice in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
There are also "Gravy" and an "Ethnic Soups & Stews (Chilli Included)" threads. While not rites of passage, they are quite tasty.


To Gooch, Keeper of the Sacred Baked Goods and Booze in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
On the flip-side, does anyone think carrot cake can be considered fruit cake if it has spices and raisins in it?
I was thinking it might qualify if you had some shredded pumpkin and carrot wine in it...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on March 29, 2010, 04:09:30 pm
To jaaAf, Novice in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
There are also "Gravy" and an "Ethnic Soups & Stews (Chilli Included)" threads. While not rites of passage, they are quite tasty.


To Gooch, Keeper of the Sacred Baked Goods and Booze in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
On the flip-side, does anyone think carrot cake can be considered fruit cake if it has spices and raisins in it?
I was thinking it might qualify if you had some shredded pumpkin and carrot wine in it...

Might be worth a try. If it last for a long time then I would believe that it would fit in this catagory of fruit cake. Please let us know what happens if you do try it.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 29, 2010, 06:51:38 pm
Last time it didn't last more than a day... but not because of rot.  :laugh:
I'm still working on it... Granma's carrot cake + pumpkin + booze of some kind + extra spice = ULTIMATE FRUIT CAKE.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 31, 2010, 02:55:22 pm
I have begun to proselytize GYHD with the Holy Order of Fruitcake. *Evil Sounding Laugh*
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on March 31, 2010, 03:30:16 pm
GYHD?????
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 31, 2010, 04:25:25 pm
These people:
http://www.getyourhandsdirty.net

Fruitcake Thread here:
http://www.getyourhandsdirty.net/publicsquare/index.php?topic=3732.msg68486#msg68486
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 06, 2010, 10:18:34 pm
To jaaAf, Novice in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
There are also "Gravy" and an "Ethnic Soups & Stews (Chilli Included)" threads. While not rites of passage, they are quite tasty.


To Gooch, Keeper of the Sacred Baked Goods and Booze in the Order of the Fruit Cake;
On the flip-side, does anyone think carrot cake can be considered fruit cake if it has spices and raisins in it?
I was thinking it might qualify if you had some shredded pumpkin and carrot wine in it...

The portions should mimic its name Fruit + Cake (+ alcoholic  uhm ... preservative )

What plant is this fruit wine named car rot wine from ? (does it really rot cars ?)
Is it naturally sweet ?
Pumpkin qualifies but is tart and requires adding extra sugar or honey to the mix which then complicates the chemistry of the formula.

Try it and if it works mayhap a NEW genre of FruitCake will have been born.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on April 06, 2010, 10:31:22 pm
Carrot wine is from carrots... Duh!
It is sweet.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 06, 2010, 10:47:11 pm
Carrot wine is from carrots... Duh!
It is sweet.

"What plant is this fruit wine named car rot wine from ?"
miss the humor and car-sass'em much ?

car rot wine ? That sounds interesting. Homemade ?
Meanwhile .... FruitCake is our goal here. Or was as far as I remember.  I would have to consult Padre29 to find out if cakes made with vegetables can be considered acceptable.

Oh Padre .... ?

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on April 07, 2010, 05:12:59 am
I think the alcohol content on the wine may be too low, use carrot brandy in the recipie in place of the other brandy and you might have something unique.......... hopefully not too much so.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on April 07, 2010, 08:10:15 pm
These people:
http://www.getyourhandsdirty.net

Fruitcake Thread here:
http://www.getyourhandsdirty.net/publicsquare/index.php?topic=3732.msg68486#msg68486

Bahahaha!

See, the secret of the fruitcake is, it grows slowly, but always grows, it comes unseen, yet remains tastee, let the Fruitcake be the bedrock and the twinke thread be the clouds...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on April 08, 2010, 01:35:58 am
And the Chocolate Gravy the Ocean.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on April 08, 2010, 04:54:19 pm
And the Chocolate Gravy the Ocean.

Amen!!!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on April 14, 2010, 01:48:28 pm
Why was this on page 2?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on April 14, 2010, 02:51:29 pm
Why was this on page 2?

Acck !

That's un ... un ... un something ...

Thanks for catching that PKL.

Whew ! page two ?
Shameful and just un ... un ... well you know ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on May 01, 2010, 07:37:29 pm
shameless bump  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on May 04, 2010, 04:05:27 am
Ohhhh! inspiration.  Fruitcake dipped in chocolate?!  there are some tightly packed calories nutrition and pick em up in a nice package!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 19, 2010, 10:53:59 pm
I am going to have to learn to make some of those ice cream toppings for myself.

I am "Jonesing" for a Fruitcake with Butterscotch topping on it.


:drool:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on May 20, 2010, 07:39:17 pm
Ok I got a problem. I desided that I was going to make more fuitcake, well I opened the one I made on the 12 of December and gave some to the adult kids of mine. Then when it got to the middle of the cake they said " Hey mom way not eat some yourself?" Anyway I found that the center had more secret ingredience then the rest. Well now my lips are numb and I can't remember the recipe. I also can find the recipe. I know it didn't take a lot of flour and it was baked at a temp lower then 350 degress. So could anyone here give me a hand on figuring out what I do after the fruit is soaked. Like how much of this and that. Oh the funny thing is I didn't even pour any rum over the cake when it was done.

Well hope someone can help me find the recipe I think I got it from here, but I tweeked it to suit me when it came to the fruits.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on May 20, 2010, 07:58:43 pm
Well I found the recipe and so I don't loose it I will share it with you all.

Holiday Fruit Cake

2 C. flour                                                        16 oz. more of less candied Pineapple chunks
2 tsp. Baking Powder                                        3/4 tsp. Salt
16 oz. Candied Cherries <>                                1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 C. Raisins                                                      18 oz. Date pieces
3 c. nuts <>                                                    4 eggs
1& 1/2 cups Brown sugar firmly packed

After fruit has been soaked in special ingredient mix with the other things and bake at 275 for 1 & 1/2 hours.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on May 20, 2010, 10:29:44 pm
Well I found the recipe and so I don't loose it I will share it with you all.

Holiday Fruit Cake

2 C. flour                                                        16 oz. more of less candied Pineapple chunks
2 tsp. Baking Powder                                        3/4 tsp. Salt
16 oz. Candied Cherries <>                                1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 C. Raisins                                                      18 oz. Date pieces
3 c. nuts <>                                                    4 eggs
1& 1/2 cups Brown sugar firmly packed

After fruit has been soaked in special ingredient mix with the other things and bake at 275 for 1 & 1/2 hours.

That is a classic style of recipe, to me, I'd add more flour, probably send the fruit through a food processor, and maybe add some moisture with some Mayo.

Processing the fruit makes the fruitcake a bit firmer, as biting a chunk of pineapple won't cause the piece to fall apart, more flour would add volume, and the mayo would keep the thing moist.

////////////imho of course!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mad Wet Hen on May 20, 2010, 10:53:07 pm
Well I chop the fruit up more then the way they are when I but them, but if I make the pieves too small they may not keep the punch I get this way. I do not use all the kinds fruit they say to. I put a spine on it. To be totally honest for some reason after 6 months it kicks back pretty good. Now I am wondering just how much kick it will have after a year. The batch I made in Decemberwhere cooked in little bread pans and you can feel the specail ingredient working in your body from only an 8th of a loaf. Now to me that is saying something. I put the specail ingredient in with the fruit and let sit for a while then put everything in the bowl with the fruit in the mix and don't have to add any later.

It work out very well I just wiant to go to sleep now seeings the fruit cake made me relaxed. Oh my lips are still a little numb, but I can still type, walk, and I am now thinking a little better so it must be waring off. LOL :occasion14:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: JoeFromSidney on June 13, 2010, 04:43:10 pm
I used to make fruit cake using a recipe similar to yours, but I didn't put in any "special ingredient" before baking. Instead I wrapped the baked fruitcake in aluminum foil, and every day opened it up, poured in a little "special ingredient," then sealed it again.

I never tried to see how long the thing would keep. We usually finished it before New Years. However, I agree that it could be a good nutrition bar. I'll have to look into that.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on June 13, 2010, 05:02:53 pm
Dudes, spices belong in fruitcake, not herb.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on June 15, 2010, 09:10:51 am
Has anyone substituted sourdough for the bread component? Sweet and Sour fruitcake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on August 05, 2010, 06:25:50 pm
I'm craveing Fruitcake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 05, 2010, 06:34:57 pm
Is there such a thing as a fruitcake / Baked Alaska thingummy?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on August 06, 2010, 03:19:59 am
That sounds kind of good.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on August 06, 2010, 04:18:02 am
I just thought of it yesterday.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on September 29, 2010, 08:02:32 pm
Hey folks,

I apologize for wandering off on you all.
I got pretty wound up in the Oath Keepers thing and then had a boat job [temporary] materialize and so on and so forth.

BUT I is back and breaking open my Texas Blonde "FruitCake" from Collin Street Bakery in Corsicanna, Texas.

Yummy ....

So ....  Did I miss anything ?
   
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on September 30, 2010, 12:48:41 am
Welcome Back Gooch! This Fruitcake.......Lover has missed your wit.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on September 30, 2010, 07:36:58 pm
Hey folks,

I apologize for wandering off on you all.
I got pretty wound up in the Oath Keepers thing and then had a boat job [temporary] materialize and so on and so forth.

BUT I is back and breaking open my Texas Blonde "FruitCake" from Collin Street Bakery in Corsicanna, Texas.

Yummy ....

So ....  Did I miss anything ?
   

Not really, the reactionary Twnkites still buzz around their favorite snack whilst the Stolid Fruitcake Thread just kind of..is.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 08, 2010, 01:05:07 pm
Welcome Back Gooch! This Fruitcake.......Lover has missed your wit.

Missed my What ?

{Do I have one of those ?}

I'd better go replenish my brain cells with another slice of F R U I T C A K E

Just in case you understand ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on October 08, 2010, 01:28:58 pm
Welcome Back Gooch! This Fruitcake.......Lover has missed your wit.

Missed my What ?

{Do I have one of those ?}

I'd better go replenish my brain cells with another slice of F R U I T C A K E

Just in case you understand ....

We missed you Cap'n. Did you bring us any lobster?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 08, 2010, 01:43:04 pm
Sorry PKL,

I was in Miami and the lobster from the tropics [no claws] is not as flavorful as the New England Lobstah [lobster with large flavorful claws].

I was doing a sailing teaching gig and didn't even make enough to eat any of that second rate lobster myself.

IF you boil some up you can blame it on me if you want .... ?

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on November 07, 2010, 07:21:10 pm
In the life of a true survival food like F R U I T C A K E a month is nearly nothing but to a Thread on a forum a month of no postings is practically heresy.

SO .... Here I am to reassure our faithful FRUIT CAKE Loving membership that this Thread shall stay near the top.
[Heck I don't know why but it sure sounds good though right ?]

Just doing my part.

Send all Fruit Cakes and gratuities to ....

Ye Dread Pirate
gooch
c/o TMM
Hardyville



Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 18, 2010, 05:08:00 pm
F R U I T C A K E


Fruitcakes Made in a Kentucky Abbey (http://www.nytimes.com/1988/11/27/travel/fare-of-the-country-fruitcakes-made-in-a-kentucky-abbey.html)

Fueled by Fruitcake (http://www.nytimes.com/1994/01/14/movies/review-film-a-dog-sled-race-fueled-by-fruitcake.html)

Fruity cake (http://happyhappyfood.blogspot.com/2009/03/blog-post_24.html)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Junker on November 18, 2010, 07:29:22 pm
You want a fake?

Try --- http://fake.isafake.org
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 01, 2010, 04:21:31 pm
It's not exactly fruitcake, but I have an old family recipe for SCANDINAVIAN CHRISTMAS FRUIT BREAD (Julekage)

1 pkg. active dry yeast
1/4 C. warm water (105ºF to 115ºF)
3/4 C. lukewarm milk (scalded, then cooled)
1/4 C. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cardamom
1 egg
1/4 C. shortening
1/2 C. raisins
1/3 C. cut-up citron or mixed candied fruit
3 1/4 to 3 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
Butter or margarine, softened
Glaze

Dissolve yeast in warm water in large mixer bowl. Add milk, sugar, salt, cardamom, egg, shortening, raisins, citron and 2 cups of the flour. Beat on low speed, scraping bowl constantly, 30 seconds. Beat on medium speed, scraping bowl occasionally, 2 minutes. Stir in enough remaining flour to make dough easy to handle. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Place in greased bowl; turn greased side up. Cover; let rise in warm place until double, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Dough is ready if indentation remains when touched. Punch dough down; shape into round loaf. Place in greased 9-inch round layer pan. Brush top lightly with butter; let rise until double, about 45 minutes. Preheat oven to 350ºF. Bake until loaf is golden brown, 35 to 45 minutes. Brush with butter. Spread with Glaze. Cool on wire rack.

Glaze

1 C. confectioners' sugar
1 to 2 T. waterMix confectioners' sugar and water until smooth and of desired consistency.

Instead of a loaf, the dough can be cut into three equal pieces and shaped into long ropes. Braid and arrange on a baking sheet in wreaths or strips. Bake and glaze as above.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Bill St. Clair on December 01, 2010, 07:56:07 pm
The  F R U I T C A K E season is nearly on us once again. I have actually eaten fruitcake I liked, but most of it turns my stomach.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 02, 2010, 10:13:33 pm
It's not exactly fruitcake, but I have an old family recipe for SCANDINAVIAN CHRISTMAS FRUIT BREAD (Julekage)

1 pkg. active dry yeast
1/4 C. warm water (105ºF to 115ºF)
3/4 C. lukewarm milk (scalded, then cooled)
1/4 C. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cardamom
1 egg
1/4 C. shortening
1/2 C. raisins
1/3 C. cut-up citron or mixed candied fruit
3 1/4 to 3 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
Butter or margarine, softened
Glaze

Dissolve yeast in warm water in large mixer bowl. Add milk, sugar, salt, cardamom, egg, shortening, raisins, citron and 2 cups of the flour. Beat on low speed, scraping bowl constantly, 30 seconds. Beat on medium speed, scraping bowl occasionally, 2 minutes. Stir in enough remaining flour to make dough easy to handle. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Place in greased bowl; turn greased side up. Cover; let rise in warm place until double, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Dough is ready if indentation remains when touched. Punch dough down; shape into round loaf. Place in greased 9-inch round layer pan. Brush top lightly with butter; let rise until double, about 45 minutes. Preheat oven to 350ºF. Bake until loaf is golden brown, 35 to 45 minutes. Brush with butter. Spread with Glaze. Cool on wire rack.

Glaze

1 C. confectioners' sugar
1 to 2 T. waterMix confectioners' sugar and water until smooth and of desired consistency.

Instead of a loaf, the dough can be cut into three equal pieces and shaped into long ropes. Braid and arrange on a baking sheet in wreaths or strips. Bake and glaze as above.

Well ... Let's see here ...

Raisins ... Yep definitely a fruit
Citron or mixed candied fruits ... Yep fruit or something like it [I'm with "T" on the dried is better than candied part ...]

Now then ....

All purpose flour, etc, etc, etc.
"Bake at 350* for 35 to 45 minutes ..."

Well .... ML ...  it sounds suspiciously  like ....


F R U I T C A K E ! to me.

:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 03, 2010, 06:47:59 am
Well .... ML ...  it sounds suspiciously  like ....


F R U I T C A K E ! to me.

:thumbsup:

Thanks, that's what I thought... but you know how some purists are.  :rolleyes:  They could certainly sprinkle some rum over this if they liked! Hmmm, never thought of that. Could put it in the glaze. Have to try it!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 04, 2010, 08:22:08 am
Hmm anticipating this years doorstop.......... :mellow:That way I can eat last years............. :ph34r:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: nurseflo on December 04, 2010, 02:22:04 pm

OK guys, I'm going to ask a question here.  Don't go throwing a fruitcake at me because those things could bring down a gorilla. 
Do you folks actually like that hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff they dump in a perfectly good batter?  Can you explain?  It just amazes me.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 04, 2010, 02:39:46 pm

OK guys, I'm going to ask a question here.  Don't go throwing a fruitcake at me because those things could bring down a gorilla. 
Do you folks actually like that hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff they dump in a perfectly good batter?  Can you explain?  It just amazes me.

Can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I don't use any hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff in my fruitcake. That would be like putting leggo blocks in my stew instead of beef or venison. :) I use fresh, home dried fruit in mine. That can be quite different from year to year, of course, but consists mostly of apricots, peaches, apple, pears and some lemon/orange zest along with the raisins. I like to use currants and gooseberries too, if I can get them. Sometimes I add chopped almonds or walnuts too, but they are not a part of the Julekage.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on December 05, 2010, 01:05:24 am

OK guys, I'm going to ask a question here.  Don't go throwing a fruitcake at me because those things could bring down a gorilla. 
Do you folks actually like that hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff they dump in a perfectly good batter?  Can you explain?  It just amazes me.

I don't use that candied fruit from the store.  I use whatever dried fruit I have in the house at the time, along with a liberal sprinkling of pecans.  This year I baked them in individual loaves and they seemed a bit dry, so I just added a bit of raspberry liqueur to them and boy howdy, they are yum!

Yeah, a fruitcake from some trappist monks or one you made at home, is totally different from those doorstops that most folks think of when the Venerable F R U I T C A K E is mentioned.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 05, 2010, 09:21:20 am
I prefer the dried fruits over the colored/ flavored sugar that most commercial companies use.  Something like a cinnamon almond cherry walnut apricot apple poppy-seed banana gooey confection glazed in a brandy cordial for the holidays.  Longer lived stuff for year round.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 05, 2010, 01:27:36 pm

OK guys, I'm going to ask a question here.  Don't go throwing a fruitcake at me because those things could bring down a gorilla. 
Do you folks actually like that hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff they dump in a perfectly good batter?  Can you explain?  It just amazes me.

I don't use that candied fruit from the store.  I use whatever dried fruit I have in the house at the time, along with a liberal sprinkling of pecans.  This year I baked them in individual loaves and they seemed a bit dry, so I just added a bit of raspberry liqueur to them and boy howdy, they are yum!

"with a liberal sprinkling of pecans."

Pour on them Pecans T ... I likes them Pecans ... bunches.

There are some commercial bakeries that offer Cakes without the "hard, nasty, green, yellow and red stuff" that either are FRUITCAKEs or are close enough for this country bumpkin.

Try the Corsicanna, Texas based Collin Street Bakery for some excellent offerings.
 Collin Street Bakery (http://www.collinstreet.com/)

There is an Apricot version there that has been approved by the TADGOF* herself.
[or was in the past]

My personal favorite from them is the Texas Blonde. [the fruitcake  ...  :rolleyes: I am a brunettes kind of guy.]

Pricey but delicious.

Enjoy.

[Nope.  I am not an employee.  I'd get fired for eating all of the profits most likely ....]

* TADGOF = Third Assistant Demi-Goddess of Freedom = Miss Claire Wolfe.



edit to remove totally unnecessary info .... and add a bit more info as well
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: nurseflo on December 05, 2010, 05:51:03 pm

OK, thanks, guys.  I have a better picture of what you are referring to with so much pleasure.  I have just never understood anyone eating that hard, nasty stuff and smiling.

I do have an old recipe of what is called a fruitcake, but it calls for raisins, currents, or dried fruit and nuts in a wonderful dark brown batter.  It never seemed like what I usually associate with as fruitcake, but it's yummy.  Hmmm, I think I have all the ingredients, maybe today would be a good day to whip one up, it's raining outside...........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 06, 2010, 10:45:40 am
Ps  I have had my limit of beer tonight so my spelling and grammer might be affected :laugh:

There's a limit on beer? How ghastly! LOL

Actually, my limit is two. Then I go to sleep, no matter what else is going on.  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on December 07, 2010, 11:38:16 am
Ps  I have had my limit of beer tonight so my spelling and grammer might be affected :laugh:

There's a limit on beer? How ghastly! LOL

Actually, my limit is two. Then I go to sleep, no matter what else is going on.  :laugh: :laugh:

Poor ML.

I've never hit my limit before. So I don't know how much that is.I know I can drink 1.5 bottles of Gekaikan Sake and not get drunk. Sake is 30% ABV.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 08, 2010, 10:48:02 pm
"Poor ML" ?

Shoot,  look at all the money she saves by not having to drink two or three six packs to get sleepy ....

Sake.
Is made from Rice Yes ?

I wonder how that would do as a Fruitcake preservative ?
Not so well is my guess ....
It's more of a samurai preservative I think.

:dontknow:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on December 08, 2010, 11:08:59 pm
"Poor ML" ?

Shoot,  look at all the money she saves by not having to drink two or three six packs to get sleepy ....

Sake.
Is made from Rice Yes ?

I wonder how that would do as a Fruitcake preservative ?
Not so well is my guess ....
It's more of a samurai preservative I think.

:dontknow:

I would think that would taste bad.

I just got some Grey Goose and Maker's Mark though. Low prices for those lately donchya Know. I went to get some whiskey to make a Christmas pudding, and It was way cheaper than usual...

So, I'm going to drink the Vodka, but I won't use up a whole bottle of Bourbon Whiskey on just a pudding. We have Chestnuts and Pecans... I'm thinking of a Fruitcake. Granma can't have anise, but the other usual spices should be fine. Any Ideas?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 09, 2010, 12:15:18 am
I am not a Cook or Baker nor do I play one on either TV or the radio so ....

The best I can offer is to suggest that you look back through the posts here on this thread as there were some recipes listed here.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 09, 2010, 07:17:00 am
So, I'm going to drink the Vodka, but I won't use up a whole bottle of Bourbon Whiskey on just a pudding. We have Chestnuts and Pecans... I'm thinking of a Fruitcake. Granma can't have anise, but the other usual spices should be fine. Any Ideas?

The traditional addition to fruitcake is brandy, and I've tasted a few good ones with a little rum. Just a suggestion - take plain fruitcake and cut into small slices, then add a tiny amount of the other liquors you list and see how they taste. It would be a shame to douse a whole fruitcake with something that made it taste terrible - or even not so good.

As for spices, I've never used anything but vanilla and cardamom for mine. The flavor in my fruitcake comes from the butter, real fruit and light sweetness overall - with just a little bit of good peach or apricot brandy.  I've tried some other spices, but they tend to overwhelm the actual fruitcake flavor.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 09, 2010, 08:19:03 am
I use my little individual loaf pans a lot, and the baking time does have to be reduced. One thing I've done to help keep things from drying out is putting a baking dish full of water on the shelf underneath. I use a glass 8x10 pan for the water. Learned this making French breads. Let the water get hot and the oven come up to temperature before putting the little pans in... and set them right on the oven rack if possible, with plenty of room around each one. Watch them, and when the tops are brown enough, test with a toothpick.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 09, 2010, 09:17:33 am
I tried brandy once and didn't like it.  I had some raspberry liqueur left over from a chocolate raspberry trifle I had made and I tried that this year because I baked my fruitcakes in individual loaf pans instead of the anglefood cake pan I usually bake them in.  The baking time in the individual loaves was experimental, I had to guess at that and they seemed a bit dry.  I have never had that problem before, so I thought I'd try the raspberry liqueur, and it did the job of moisting the fruitcake and it tastes really good.  I agree with ML, other than vanilla (although you might be able to use a bit of almond extract too) I think any other spices would overwhelm the flavors from the butter and dried fruits.

Just for kicks I put a fruitcake seed in the twinkie thread to see if they were paying attention, not a peep from them. *grin*.
They are US T. so .... be careful with that poking sleeping tigers stuff.

IF you actually read the Twinkie thread [not for the faint of heart] you will find that we are actually living in a Truce period between the two camps.
There have been 'sharp retort' wars between the two in the past and we do try to avoid stirring up the "Others".

Leave them to their choice of non-food and WE get more Fruitcake as a result. (?)

Just sayin' ....
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 09, 2010, 10:22:11 am
Leave them to their choice of non-food and WE get more Fruitcake as a result. (?)

Just sayin' ....

My thoughts exactly.  :laugh:

I once astonished a guest who refused a plate of sliced homegrown tomatoes... saying that he never ate tomatoes, but in a sort of snotty way.  I just grinned and said, "Thanks!! All the more for the rest of us."

For some reason, he never came back. Shame about that. <burp>
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 09, 2010, 12:51:36 pm
Thanks ML.  How long do you bake your little loaves?  I have a pan that has six loaves together.

Ah, that might be a little different. My pans are separate... look just like loaf pans, but only hold about a cup of dough each.

If your little loaves don't hold any more than that, 20 minutes should be plenty of time for a light batter, and maybe 30 for heavier stuff like fruitcake. Use a timer and after 20 minutes do the toothpick test. If they are not done, put them back for another 5 minutes or so and retest. Eventually you'll figure out the right combination for heat and time. Then write it down on your recipes!!

My rule of thumb is to use 350 degrees for 20 minutes for plain bread in those pans. Fruitcake bakes best (for me) at 325 degrees for 30 minutes or until toothpick is clean. A lot depends on what fruit you use, and the temperature of everything going into the oven. I always start with all ingredients at room temperature if possible. (Doesn't work with ice cream! LOL)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on December 09, 2010, 07:45:46 pm
Leave them to their choice of non-food and WE get more Fruitcake as a result. (?)

Just sayin' ....

My thoughts exactly.  :laugh:

I once astonished a guest who refused a plate of sliced homegrown tomatoes... saying that he never ate tomatoes, but in a sort of snotty way.  I just grinned and said, "Thanks!! All the more for the rest of us."

For some reason, he never came back. Shame about that. <burp>

I've had the same problem. One time I tried to share some veggies from my garden with my parents... My stepdud said he wouldn't eat them because I grew them in dirt. orz
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on December 09, 2010, 08:55:57 pm
PKL,

Your stepdud puts me in mind of the little old lady walking down the street in NYC.

Some background is required ....
Remember back in the 70's and the first gas shortages ? Yes.  I am that old.
I remember gasoline at less than a quarter a gallon.
[The oil companies needed to jump the price on gasoline so they quit transporting it and claimed a shortage. While seven or eight full tanker ships waited out the "shortage" in the Faralones off of San Francisco because they had no place to unload. The onshore tanks were full but the oil companies were not moving the oil out of the tanks.]

At any rate the farmers were livid that their diesel was going from 20 cents to 40 cents [or something like that] and they decided to drive their tractors to Washington and block the traffic in protest until Congress did "something" about the price of fuel. [Now that is definitive planning don't you think ?]

Anyway that was the background for ....
One of the local stations in NYC was having a "Man in the Street" interview series and the talking head stops this 90 year old lady [she could have been 80 what do I know ?] walking down the street in her long coat, head down [typical NYC automaton] and carrying two shopping bags. She is Obviously headed home from shopping at the grocery store.

The talking head says ...
"Pardon me madam.  May I ask ... what is your opinion of the farmers strike ?"

and she says ....
"Farmers Strike ?  Farmers schmarmers who needs them ? We've got the A&P."

pah dum *rimshot*

And the Prussian model education indoctrination system has been turning out exactly that level of independent cooperative thinking since then.

Your stepdud must have been a star pupil.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on December 10, 2010, 02:35:11 am
...And the Prussian model education indoctrination system has been turning out exactly that level of independent cooperative thinking since then.

Your stepdud must have been a star pupil.


He was, and I got a GED. Kinda makes me proud considering I was one of a handful of literate people in my graduating (Well, I didn't... but the illiterate ones all did.) class.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 10, 2010, 07:55:11 am
and she says ....
"Farmers Strike ?  Farmers schmarmers who needs them ? We've got the A&P."

Indeed... like some of the city gals who would say - with a straight face - that nobody needed to kill animals for food because they could just go to the grocery store for meat. Sadly, some didn't believe it after I explained a few facts of life. They'd never given it any thought, and either were not willing to do so.... or were actually not equipped for the effort. Just doesn't seem like anyone can be that stupid and survive. But, of course, they WON'T survive once all the nannies are gone.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on December 11, 2010, 08:11:19 am
The more that are hooked to the supermarket and unable to get enough brain cells pumping to adapt= the fewer in the horde moving OUT and AWAY.  I just worry about the heavily armed leading edge of that that are all semi-prepped and have a severe hankering for fruitcake.  Think some nice Heavy Bodied cake would stop them or slow them? At least they are replaceable, unlike the freeze dried stuff.  I would try and dip into those as litlle as possible as a means of maintaing a "Get Light and Mobile" capability.

I can see the codgers sitting around the fire "No this one was made in 3 ATF remember-that yer there was an apple blight, and look how few apples this one has" Reply" no that is clearly a Baker recipie cake, theirs typically were short on apples, since they never got on with Ol'Granny smith's kin........"   If wine tasting can be that sort of receration, imagine what the variable in fruitcakes could breed!  (I think I found something here!)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 11, 2010, 09:04:44 am
Sounds like fun, Rarick. An edible (sometimes) stamp collection. LOL
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on May 27, 2011, 07:57:26 pm
Ping for all the new guys.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: veritas77 on September 13, 2011, 10:57:03 am
ping? what is this ping that you speak of? :huh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on September 13, 2011, 11:17:12 am
A "ping" references a sonar sounding in the deep in search of other objects.

In this case it brings a thread to the surface without adding to the content of the discussion.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: veritas77 on September 13, 2011, 12:55:03 pm
oh cool, like a bump! hey whats fairytail?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: InLiberty on September 13, 2011, 01:45:39 pm
This thread makes me laugh.  Thanks for bumping!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on September 13, 2011, 02:07:53 pm
oh cool, like a bump! hey whats fairytail?

It's an animated TV show and comic book series in the Fantasy genre...

So far it seems to follow Heinlein's, "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

And they break the mala prohibita laws frequently.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: veritas77 on September 27, 2011, 12:09:11 am
this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be multi-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than paracord :D
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on September 27, 2011, 12:28:59 am
I don't remember what page it was on but at one point it was decided that FRUITCAKES made excellent trebuchet ammo and edible fortifications.

Personally I eat them. Especially the ones made in Corsicanna, Texas at the Collin Street Bakery.
[www.collinstreet.com]

Oops I did it again ...  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on September 27, 2011, 01:01:16 am
I need to make that Pina Colada Fruitcake I was craving yesterday...

this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be mulch-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than para-cord :D

That wouldn't work unless you did it still in the tin...

I don't remember what page it was on but at one point it was decided that FRUITCAKES made excellent trebuchet ammo and edible fortifications.

Personally I eat them. Especially the ones made in Corsicanna, Texas at the Collin Street Bakery.
[www.collinstreet.com]

Oops I did it again ...  :rolleyes:

Nothing wrong with plugging for sweets and booze... especially when you do it at the same time.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 14, 2011, 02:21:46 pm
this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be multi-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than paracord :D

Earlier on it was suggested they could be used to make edible sand bag bunkers.

Hmm, instead of a rammed earth home, or a straw bale home, how about a fruitcake walled house?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on October 14, 2011, 05:28:24 pm
this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be multi-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than paracord :D

Earlier on it was suggested they could be used to make edible sand bag bunkers.

Hmm, instead of a rammed earth home, or a straw bale home, how about a fruitcake walled house?

That would be hilarious.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on October 14, 2011, 11:30:00 pm
this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be multi-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than paracord :D

Earlier on it was suggested they could be used to make edible sand bag bunkers.

Hmm, instead of a rammed earth home, or a straw bale home, how about a fruitcake walled house?

That would be hilarious.

You'd never get any sleep fighting off the mice and other rodents  ... some with only two feet.

Get away from that wall you dirty rat .. Pop .. Pop ... Pow gimme that FRUIT CAKE   you stinking thieving four footed rodents ...  Come back here with my bedroom wall ... sheesh ...


see what I mean ?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on October 15, 2011, 01:13:55 am
this fruitcake thing could really take off...it could be multi-functional- if you have enough of them you could use them to build a shelter (bricks), i BET they're flammable (duraflame logs anybody?), drill a hole in one and insert a shaft n presto- makeshift sledgehammer. it could be more useful than paracord :D

Earlier on it was suggested they could be used to make edible sand bag bunkers.

Hmm, instead of a rammed earth home, or a straw bale home, how about a fruitcake walled house?

That would be hilarious.

You'd never get any sleep fighting off the mice and other rodents  ... some with only two feet.

Get away from that wall you dirty rat .. Pop .. Pop ... Pow gimme that FRUIT CAKE   you stinking thieving four footed rodents ...  Come back here with my bedroom wall ... sheesh ...


see what I mean ?

Its humor is mainly derived from seeing you trying to pry a tin from the mortar...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on October 20, 2011, 08:59:35 pm
Time to eat last years doorstop.........I just received my first gift fruitcake of the season- Halloween motif............
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 21, 2011, 06:29:29 am
Time to eat last years doorstop.........I just received my first gift fruitcake of the season- Halloween motif............

Door Stop=Prepackaged Survival Loaf
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on October 29, 2011, 03:23:50 pm


First citron fruitcakes of the yr are now on the store shelves, they look all the world like bricks of plastique.

Fruitcake time of yr is here, stock up!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Zookeeper on October 30, 2011, 01:23:17 am
 :wav: Its the most wonderful time of the Year!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on October 31, 2011, 01:27:04 pm


First citron fruitcakes of the yr are now on the store shelves, they look all the world like bricks of plastique.

Fruitcake time of yr is here, stock up!

Ugh...

Go make a fruitcake... don't eat that crap. Dowse your granny's orange-bread with some rum.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: mutti on December 22, 2011, 07:59:09 pm
Warning : Autoloading Video:


Are These the Oldest Christmas Cakes in the U.S.?  :  http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/12/are-these-the-oldest-christmas-cakes-in-the-us/

70 Year old fruitcake!

Quote
The second cake won’t be celebrating its centennial for another 30 years, but is being auctioned off for its 70th birthday.

The 1941 fruitcake is from a Kroger’s grocery story in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was discovered tucked away in the basement of a house during a home estate auction, run by the Elite Estate Group.

“The cake is still in its original tin, never been opened and has the original label on the box,” Larry Chaney, owner of the auction company, told ABCNews.com.

The cake came with a note dated May 20, 1971 that read:

“This fruitcake is one of six purchased by the undersigned during Christmas Week of 1941. During its 30 years of life the cake has traveled thousands of miles and has been subjected to all types of climatic conditions and shocks. We are moving again and wish to return the cake to its makers—The Kroger Company.”


Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on December 23, 2011, 07:59:58 pm

What could be more appropriate?

Fruitcake as war time provision locked away in it's own survival tin!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Wild Bill on December 29, 2011, 02:40:57 pm
I wonder if there is some way to incorperate Twinkies into Fruitcake?   :huh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 29, 2011, 02:52:45 pm
I wonder if there is some way to incorperate Twinkies into Fruitcake?   :huh:

Are you mad? Would Minnie Pearl get hired at the Metropolitan Opera?

They are two different breeds of cat, dude. LOL
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Mr. Dare on December 29, 2011, 03:47:52 pm
Hmmm... both are intriguing prospects. No recipe for a Twinkie Fruitcake yet, but here's something to tickle the funny bone along the "Minnie does the Met" lines. :mellow:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7EobJgARUo
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Wild Bill on December 29, 2011, 05:51:27 pm
I wonder if there is some way to incorperate Twinkies into Fruitcake?   :huh:

Are you mad? Would Minnie Pearl get hired at the Metropolitan Opera?

They are two different breeds of cat, dude. LOL

So, what you're saying is that if I mix Twinkies with Fruitcake, you get a result like if I divided by zero?

Interesting...

The resulting singularity could possibly end life on earth as we know it!!

Sooo... Twinkie + Fruitcake = Infinity/0 = End of the World.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on December 30, 2011, 05:59:50 am
So, what you're saying is that if I mix Twinkies with Fruitcake, you get a result like if I divided by zero?

Interesting...

The resulting singularity could possibly end life on earth as we know it!!

Sooo... Twinkie + Fruitcake = Infinity/0 = End of the World.

Well, I wouldn't go quite that far. There might be some who attend the opera who would like to hear Minnie Pearl sing there. I just don't happen to be one of them. LOL I think that if you mix twinkies with fruitcake, all you get is indigestion. :)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on January 28, 2012, 09:45:31 am
The Gastronomical Meltdown Theory gets my vote.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on February 01, 2012, 02:09:34 pm
How did this get to page 2??? bloody disgrace!
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 10, 2012, 06:43:25 pm
How did this get to page 2??? bloody disgrace!

There is an ebb and flow to the fruitcakery, but, as autumn follows summer...it always returns
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on February 11, 2012, 05:02:39 am
No no.... Fruitcakes are eternal.... Literally.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 19, 2012, 07:55:15 pm

As summer turns to winter, the Fruitcake appears again.

Twinkies come and go, Fruitcake..is forever!


 :popcorn:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on November 20, 2012, 07:57:49 am
Fruitcakery is now the only game in town.........some times it is possible to outlive the competition........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 20, 2012, 08:13:18 am
Fruitcakery is now the only game in town.........some times it is possible to outlive the competition........

Maybe, lots of twinkies in back stock though, not like they will go bad.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on November 20, 2012, 08:15:40 am
Oh, a concept.......  A specially armored vintage "Lunch truck" with fruitcake and twinkie intergrated body work to keep the bugs away........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 20, 2012, 10:12:05 am
Does this count as a fruitcake?

Quote
.xlix. Bryndons (http://www.godecookery.com/goderec/grec44.htm). Take Wyn, & putte in a potte, an clarifyd hony, an Saunderys, pepir, Safroun, Clowes, Maces, & Quybibys, & mynced Datys, Pynys and Roysonys of Corauns, & a lytil Vynegre, & sethe it on e fyre; an sethe fygys in Wyne, & grynde hem, & draw hem orw a straynoure, & caste er-to, an lete hem boyle alle to-gederys; an take fayre flowre, Safroun, Sugre, & Fayre Water, and make er-of cakys, and let hem be inne Inow; an kyte hem y lyke lechyngys, an caste hem in fayre Oyle, and fry hem a lytil whyle; anne take hem owt of e panne, an caste in-to a vesselle with e Syrippe, & so serue hem forth, e bryndonys an e Sirippe, in a dysshe; & let e Sirippe be rennyng, & not to styf.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 20, 2012, 11:17:04 am

Not sure Yuki, my old English is not up to snuff.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 20, 2012, 11:59:37 am

Not sure Yuki, my old English is not up to snuff.

It's transitional Middle-Modern English.

Basically the translation is:
Bryndons - Take wine and put it in a pot, and clarified honey (he means strained so there's no wax), and sandalwood, pepper, saffron, cloves, mace, cubebes (IDK what this is), and minced dates, pine nuts and dried currants, and a little vinegar, and seethe (boil) it on the fire; and seethe figs in wine, and grind them and draw them through a strainer, and cast thereto (to toss into) and let them boil all together; then take fair flour, saffron, sugar, and fair water and make thereof cakes, and let them be thin now (thin batter); then cut them like lechyngys (this is a measurement of sorts), and cast them into fair[ly hot] oil, and fry them a little while, then take them out of the pan, and put them into a vessel (trencher, I assume) with the syrup, and so serve them forth, the Bryndons and Syrup in a dish; and let the syrup be thin.

Basically, it's pancakes full of fruit and nuts and served with a wine and honey syrup. Doesn't sound half bad... Might be considered a breakfast version of a fruit cake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on November 21, 2012, 05:05:37 am
Fruit Flops, has potential.  Make the cake/batter into something more biscuity when it cooks and you would have a Waybread of sorts.........
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 21, 2012, 07:40:27 am
I'm glad we have the Sacred order of the Fruitcake...

I did have an idea for a wassail cake. I've seen a few recipes for cakes with almonds and apples, but I thought of making my "Torta de Cielo" (a Spanish almond cake) with dried apples in it and dousing it in carmel liqueur (Cask and Cream). There's no flour in it, just almond meal....

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 21, 2012, 08:58:22 am
I'm glad we have the Sacred order of the Fruitcake...

I did have an idea for a wassail cake. I've seen a few recipes for cakes with almonds and apples, but I thought of making my "Torta de Cielo" (a Spanish almond cake) with dried apples in it and dousing it in carmel liqueur (Cask and Cream). There's no flour in it, just almond meal....

Sounds like you'd have to add some fat to the recipe though or that may have a very coarse texture.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 21, 2012, 04:47:46 pm
I'm glad we have the Sacred order of the Fruitcake...

I did have an idea for a wassail cake. I've seen a few recipes for cakes with almonds and apples, but I thought of making my "Torta de Cielo" (a Spanish almond cake) with dried apples in it and dousing it in carmel liqueur (Cask and Cream). There's no flour in it, just almond meal....

Sounds like you'd have to add some fat to the recipe though or that may have a very coarse texture.

It's got olive oil in the cake batter. Not to mention the fat in the almond meal... and eggs. It's about like softer moister cornbread.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 21, 2012, 06:45:29 pm
I'm glad we have the Sacred order of the Fruitcake...

I did have an idea for a wassail cake. I've seen a few recipes for cakes with almonds and apples, but I thought of making my "Torta de Cielo" (a Spanish almond cake) with dried apples in it and dousing it in carmel liqueur (Cask and Cream). There's no flour in it, just almond meal....

Sounds like you'd have to add some fat to the recipe though or that may have a very coarse texture.

It's got olive oil in the cake batter. Not to mention the fat in the almond meal... and eggs. It's about like softer moister cornbread.

No offense, but olive oil and almond oil are not a binding/moistening type of fat, even adding the protein from eggs just merely binds mostly dry ingredients.

Mayo would work well and add richness.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on November 21, 2012, 08:11:17 pm
I'm glad we have the Sacred order of the Fruitcake...

I did have an idea for a wassail cake. I've seen a few recipes for cakes with almonds and apples, but I thought of making my "Torta de Cielo" (a Spanish almond cake) with dried apples in it and dousing it in carmel liqueur (Cask and Cream). There's no flour in it, just almond meal....

Sounds like you'd have to add some fat to the recipe though or that may have a very coarse texture.

It's got olive oil in the cake batter. Not to mention the fat in the almond meal... and eggs. It's about like softer moister cornbread.

No offense, but olive oil and almond oil are not a binding/moistening type of fat, even adding the protein from eggs just merely binds mostly dry ingredients.

Mayo would work well and add richness.

I'm not putting mayo in it dude. It's like softer cornbread in texture. I like it like that. The only modification I suggested was adding dried apple. It tastes fucking stellar already, and the texture is great. Why ruin a good thing by messing with the chemistry?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: mutti on November 21, 2012, 08:11:56 pm
Quote
Mayo would work well and add richness.
That sounds interesting. Of course, you could always replace 1/2 of the oil with applesauce - I do it all the time. Adds a nice moistness.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on November 22, 2012, 02:27:29 pm
Happy Turkey Day to all of you FRUITCAKE lovers out there.  What? ... Oh .. yeah OK ... And to all of you other folks as well.  There are you happy now?  ... sheesh.


:thrbiggrin:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on November 22, 2012, 05:35:08 pm
Quote
Mayo would work well and add richness.
That sounds interesting. Of course, you could always replace 1/2 of the oil with applesauce - I do it all the time. Adds a nice moistness.

True, and mayo is often used in chocolate cake to moisten it up

I'm looking forward to some fruitcake this year, and eggnog, of course it will be Citron but I still like it.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 26, 2013, 07:05:50 pm
OK I mostly an easygoing kind of guy unless I feel myself or my "family" is threatened.

That said I am going to ask Padre to cut down on the rum in the fruitcake this Spring.  Apparently there was a dram too much and folks have fallen asleep at the switch.

This was on page two and second from last there.

Now I can understand that unnamed faux sponge cake abomination being on page two or worse but the FRUITCAKE thread ?

Inconceivable ....

edit for layout ... ...  What?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 26, 2013, 09:37:28 pm

Fruitcake is like a force of nature Gooch, it shows up in the fall, leaves in the early Winter, only to return the next fall.

Not like that scientifically designed artificial yellow thing that never goes away..or has it?

 :laugh:

What is worse than that yellow plastic stuff, there are now potato chips that are basically just transfer agents for artificial flavorings that make them taste like "Chicken and Waffles".

eegads, what an awful product that is, just the concept makes me shudder.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on February 27, 2013, 06:21:09 am
What is worse than that yellow plastic stuff, there are now potato chips that are basically just transfer agents for artificial flavorings that make them taste like "Chicken and Waffles".

eegads, what an awful product that is, just the concept makes me shudder.

Are you sure? Never heard of that, but then I don't spend any time reading labels in the "snack" section of the store. :) You are right, it does sound nauseating.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on February 27, 2013, 07:32:21 am
Yeah, there are these, "snack crackers or tofu chips" that inevitably have an after taste of........<cringe>  I would rather eat the doorstop early.......

An ols cutomer recently changed to "Green and Local" ingredients for his fruitcake.  It was apple, cherry, apricot with some cinamon and rum sauce sort of thing.  Much better than the mix I usually see.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on February 27, 2013, 07:44:49 am
Yeah, there are these, "snack crackers or tofu chips" that inevitably have an after taste of........<cringe>  I would rather eat the doorstop early.......

An ols cutomer recently changed to "Green and Local" ingredients for his fruitcake.  It was apple, cherry, apricot with some cinamon and rum sauce sort of thing.  Much better than the mix I usually see.

that does sound like it would taste better than the usual citron fruit cake
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on March 29, 2013, 07:15:57 pm
Did we ever compile a list of our favorite FRUITCAKE Recipes?

I don't have an oven and therefore cannot bake things. [Not that I was ever that good a baker ...  :rolleyes: ]

Just thinking out loud over here .... 

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 29, 2013, 08:05:34 pm

Recipes are uhm..baked into the thread Gooch.

 :rolleyes:

 :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DPR 2006 on March 29, 2013, 08:26:16 pm

Fruitcake is like a force of nature Gooch, it shows up in the fall, leaves in the early Winter, only to return the next fall.

Not like that scientifically designed artificial yellow thing that never goes away..or has it?

 :laugh:

What is worse than that yellow plastic stuff, there are now potato chips that are basically just transfer agents for artificial flavorings that make them taste like "Chicken and Waffles".

eegads, what an awful product that is, just the concept makes me shudder.

Yes, you are talking about the new flavors of Lay's potato chips.  I've tried the Chicken-n-Waffles...not terrible, but I wouldn't miss it.  I have also tried the Cheesy Garlic Bread.  That stuff is GOOD, imho.  I've NOT tried the Sriracha, although I do have a liking for Thai food, so I'll probably like it.

Damn, whodaeverthunk that we'd never see Twinkies again?  My life is in shambles.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: padre29 on March 29, 2013, 10:15:30 pm

DPR, here is the thing with those "chips"

There is no waffle, there is no bread, basically the chemicals the makers sprayed on them tricked your taste function into "tasting' it being on there.

Bleech.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: FDD on March 30, 2013, 06:23:01 pm

DPR, here is the thing with those "chips"

There is no waffle, there is no bread, basically the chemicals the makers sprayed on them tricked your taste function into "tasting' it being on there.

Bleech.

hehehe With enough of them there chemicals, you can grow hair on your tongue    ^_^
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: gaurdduck on March 30, 2013, 09:45:02 pm
No thanks... I'd rather eat a curling stone er... I mean fruit cake.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Moonbeam on February 18, 2016, 06:58:50 pm
I came across a fruit cake cookie recipe for those interested. Fruit cake is not my cup of tea, but this recipe did look promising and I wanted to share.

http://joandsue.blogspot.ca/2012/12/fruitcake-cookies.html

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar, packed

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp almond extract

2 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

pinch salt

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 cup pecans, chopped

1 cup dates, chopped

1/2 cup candied red cherries, chopped

1/2 cup candied green cherries, chopped

Directions

Preheat oven to 325. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, set aside. [/snip]
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 18, 2016, 10:52:43 pm
snooozzzzzze ... huh? snort yawn Who's there? Oh Hey Moonbeam.
I can't say that I am much of a cook but I can usually get myself fed.

Thanks for the receipe maybe someone here will give it a shot.
(I have no oven so baking for me is a no-go right off the bat)

Look at the time ... TIME?! Has it really been nearly three years?
Sheesh-O-Pete I guess when the competition leaves there is little inducement to gab on about the Secret Survival Food.

Gees look at the dust around here ... I'd better get this place swept up afore Padre finds it like this.

sounds of frantic sweeping and mumbling ensue ...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on February 19, 2016, 05:10:44 am
I gave up trying to make fruitcake... sigh.  Decided I simply hate that "candied fruit" and nothing else actually seems to make fruitcake. :(  The last I made vanished overnight, for some strange reason....  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on February 19, 2016, 08:13:02 am
The candied cherries can be too much, the recipes where I grew up always had the various dried fruits baked in.  Apple, Apricot, Grapes.  Every once in a while a teenage daughter would try peaches or bananas in her very own recipe.  You could guarantee some sort of bourbon, whiskey or other alcohol glaze was included.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on February 19, 2016, 02:02:49 pm
The candied cherries can be too much, the recipes where I grew up always had the various dried fruits baked in.  Apple, Apricot, Grapes.  Every once in a while a teenage daughter would try peaches or bananas in her very own recipe.  You could guarantee some sort of bourbon, whiskey or other alcohol glaze was included.

I have had fruitcake with apricots and it was delish. Of course it was topped with pecan halves and that always helps.
I am not a real fan of the overloads of candied cherries no matter red or green. I like a few but not lots and lots.

Bananas? I'm not sure how that would work. Banana bread as a base?
I'd be willing to taste test if someone with an oven wanted an unpaid tester. ahem ...
 :rolleyes:   :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on February 26, 2016, 05:28:07 am
Dried bananas actually hold up if you do not soak them first from what I am told.  It is easy for them to turn into something looks like a pus pocket though, texture and looks, that is why they are skipped most of the time.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Adam Ruff on April 29, 2016, 08:44:40 am
I gave a 2 year old, hard as a rock, fruitcake to my step father one Christmas. It was both a statement about what I thought he was and an F U to him because I hated him. Sorry but that is my only fruitcake story.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on April 29, 2016, 08:51:07 am
I gave a 2 year old, hard as a rock, fruitcake to my step father one Christmas. It was both a statement about what I thought he was and an F U to him because I hated him. Sorry but that is my only fruitcake story.

Oh, what a shame! Cared for properly, that fruitcake could have been revived and, probably, even eaten. :)

Sorry about your relationship with your father. It happens.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Adam Ruff on April 30, 2016, 06:05:49 pm
I gave a 2 year old, hard as a rock, fruitcake to my step father one Christmas. It was both a statement about what I thought he was and an F U to him because I hated him. Sorry but that is my only fruitcake story.

Oh, what a shame! Cared for properly, that fruitcake could have been revived and, probably, even eaten. :)

Sorry about your relationship with your father. It happens.

Well now I know not to give away fruitcake but back then I thought it was a snotty and clever statement about my step father. Live and learn. I will never look at fruitcake the same way after reading this thread. ^_^
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on May 09, 2016, 02:35:25 am
Hmm?  A thought, do you think there would be a market for Fruitcake made from fresh organic ingredients grown in an unpolluted lunar hydroponic garden, delivered direct to your doorstep by a reentry drone? :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 09, 2016, 04:53:34 am
Hmm?  A thought, do you think there would be a market for Fruitcake made from fresh organic ingredients grown in an unpolluted lunar hydroponic garden, delivered direct to your doorstep by a reentry drone? :rolleyes:

Very likely would be, but probably not the first thing colonists would be ordering. :)
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 09, 2016, 07:16:07 pm
Hmm?  A thought, do you think there would be a market for Fruitcake made from fresh organic ingredients grown in an unpolluted lunar hydroponic garden, delivered direct to your doorstep by a reentry drone? :rolleyes:

Very likely would be, but probably not the first thing colonists would be ordering. :)

I could be completely off base BUT I think (Robot voice commences= Danger! Danger! Take evasive action at once. Danger! Danger! Robot voice ceases) Hush you silly robot sheesh.

Where was I? Oh yes I think (glares at safety robot) that Rarick was intending those Fruitcakes to be delivered to Earth from the moon. IE: a cottage craft business sorta. Do they have cottages on the moon?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on May 10, 2016, 12:09:35 pm
I figure the thread required some visionary wild ass scheme for some fun of it.  A doubt if a reentry pod encased fruit cake would get soggy in a pool for example. Can you imagine the SPLASH however?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: FDD on May 10, 2016, 03:15:31 pm
I figure the thread required some visionary wild ass scheme for some fun of it.  A doubt if a reentry pod encased fruit cake would get soggy in a pool for example. Can you imagine the SPLASH however?

so is the fruitcake encased in the pod, or is the pod encased in the fruitcake?
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on May 10, 2016, 04:34:51 pm
Yes.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 10, 2016, 08:14:50 pm
Yes.
:sign10: :laugh:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: Rarick on May 11, 2016, 12:27:27 am
Imaginary condition, so Quantum Mechanics apply.  Especially since fruity stuff is involved.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 11, 2016, 11:24:38 pm
Imaginary condition, so Quantum Mechanics apply.  Especially since fruity stuff is involved.

I don't care where those mechanics work and they can apply all they want but they cannot have my

.    .     .    .    .    FRUITCAKE
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 22, 2016, 02:57:38 pm
Do we have a recipe for fruitcake somewhere here? I read lots of pages in this thread and didn't see one. Tried the search... but there are simply too many results to go through today. A new member is asking...
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 22, 2016, 03:38:04 pm
Off the top of my head I will clearly state that I dunno.

I will however put in some search time and IF found will list them here.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 22, 2016, 03:43:47 pm
I found this one these-

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg161941#msg161941

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg163505#msg163505

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg168017#msg168017
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 22, 2016, 04:13:28 pm
I haven't opened the links that CrazyDevil put up but I did find these in a quick search=


Moonbeams recipe offering
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg443628;topicseen#msg443628

ML's Scandinavian Xmas Fruit Bread
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg346435;topicseen#msg346435

MadWetHen's recipe
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg331030;topicseen#msg331030

ML's own recipe ?
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg255555;topicseen#msg255555


edit to add:
Hey DL,

What about labeling the ones we find so we don't double list ? (see my labels above) Then we can have them accessible for all to read.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: FDD on May 22, 2016, 04:15:44 pm
Ask and ye shall have
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 22, 2016, 04:29:04 pm
Ask and ye shall have

Which reminds me ...  Didn't we (the denizens of the TCF) once put together a Recipe Book?

What say we consider another to help support the TMM since Elias is looking for funds to support his websites?
One devoted to Fruitcakes and or Cakes and baked goodies might go well?

ML You Might consider moving this post to a new spot on the General Discussion pages for better visibility?  Just a thought.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 23, 2016, 05:09:02 am
Which reminds me ...  Didn't we (the denizens of the TCF) once put together a Recipe Book?

What say we consider another to help support the TMM since Elias is looking for funds to support his websites?
One devoted to Fruitcakes and or Cakes and baked goodies might go well?

ML You Might consider moving this post to a new spot on the General Discussion pages for better visibility?  Just a thought.

I'm not sure, gooch. If you can find the discussion, send me a link. I've got a small book of recipes already written on bread and similar baked goods. And I've got literally thousands of other recipes here too, just needs organizing. I tried to get the folks at FSW to send me their recipes to make a fund raiser book, but got very few. If the people of TMM really want to contribute to this, I'd be happy to work on it. Just can't do it alone. If there are enough volunteers here, we can pin this project thread offshoot in the bulletin board.  It would help if someone could research the publishing side of this. We are not apt to be able to raise enough money up front to have it printed.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 07:01:03 pm
I'm not sure but what I may have used up all of my search-fu credits ML but I can enter a search term and see.



IF ANYONE ELSE SHOULD HAPPEN TO FIND THE TCF COOKBOOK THREAD PLEASE SPEAK UP HERE
 


Thanks.
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 23, 2016, 07:12:03 pm
I'm not sure but what I may have used up all of my search-fu credits ML but I can enter a search term and see.



IF ANYONE ELSE SHOULD HAPPEN TO FIND THE TCF COOKBOOK THREAD PLEASE SPEAK UP HERE
 


Thanks.
I still have some credits left, Gooch. :threvil:

I have no idea how I found what I did. The search engine kinda stinks. :skeptical:

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.150
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 07:14:17 pm
Bringing this back to the top for ML to find.

Now I am off to see if the Lulu link is still valid. Probably not BUT we shall see what we shall see.
One of my Mom's quotes from her Dad.

Back d'rectly ...
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 23, 2016, 07:20:19 pm
Bringing this back to the top for ML to find.

Now I am off to see if the Lulu link is still valid. Probably not BUT we shall see what we shall see.
One of my Mom's quotes from her Dad.

Back d'rectly ...
Still available. $14.50 prints in 3-5 days.

EDIT- $5 PDF
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 07:24:07 pm
Man ... that's fast and COOL DL.

Thanks for the info.

Have you found this thread yet ML?

I'll carry it to the FRUITCAKE thread to make it easy.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 23, 2016, 07:31:24 pm
Man ... that's fast and COOL DL.

Thanks for the info.

Have you found this thread yet ML?

I'll carry it to the FRUITCAKE thread to make it easy.
I posted the thread for the original recipes in the fruitcake thread.

Here it is again-

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.150
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 07:41:23 pm
I'm not sure but what I may have used up all of my search-fu credits ML but I can enter a search term and see.



IF ANYONE ELSE SHOULD HAPPEN TO FIND THE TCF COOKBOOK THREAD PLEASE SPEAK UP HERE
 


Thanks.
I still have some credits left, Gooch. :threvil:

I have no idea how I found what I did. The search engine kinda stinks. :skeptical:

https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.150

We found the same one DL.

Hey ML It is the linky to the actual TCF Cookbook.  I would post there to bring it up But Pagan locked it back in '07.
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.0  is page one.

It is Not in the Food and Cooking subheading maybe you can unlock it and move it ?

Eleven pages of recipes and the pdf is only $5.

Now I have to find a bricks and mortar address for Lulu so I can send a check.
I. DO. NOT. TRUST. PAYPAL.

Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 07:52:08 pm
Hey DL,

What about labeling the ones we find so we don't double list ? (see my labels above) Then we can have them accessible for all to read.



I found this one these-

Pagan has a referral to the foodnetwork recipe
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg161941#msg161941

Padre29  Applesauce Cheddar Fruitcake
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg163505#msg163505

Padre 29  Chocolate Fruit Cake
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=12438.msg168017#msg168017

Just being helpful DL  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The secret survival food.....fruit cake..
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 23, 2016, 07:54:14 pm


Just being helpful DL  :thumbsup:
Sorry. Must've missed it. :dontknow:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: da gooch on May 23, 2016, 10:28:01 pm
Bringing this back to the top for ML to find.

Now I am off to see if the Lulu link is still valid. Probably not BUT we shall see what we shall see.
One of my Mom's quotes from her Dad.

Back d'rectly ...
Still available. $14.50 prints in 3-5 days.

EDIT- $5 PDF

Do you know if they have a snail mail address? I am not going to allow the 12 or 15 scripts they want to run just so I can buy a book (for my daughter) and a PDF for myself.
They have a land line for "ordering assistance" which I will call manana.
(  http://www.lulu.com/contact-us  Questions about your Lulu order?  Call us at 844-212-0689 )

Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 24, 2016, 04:57:02 am
http://www.lulu.com/content/1064479

Appears to still be available...

Thanks, Thunder! And good to see you here again. It's been a while, I think. :)
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 24, 2016, 05:12:50 am
http://www.lulu.com/content/1064479

Appears to still be available...

Thanks, Thunder! And good to see you here again. It's been a while, I think. :)
Ummm....That was posted 7 1/2 years ago ML.

Posted by: Thunder
on: December 05, 2008, 06:32:21 pm
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 24, 2016, 05:17:09 am
http://www.lulu.com/content/1064479

Appears to still be available...

Thanks, Thunder! And good to see you here again. It's been a while, I think. :)
Ummm....That was posted 7 1/2 years ago ML.

Posted by: Thunder
on: December 05, 2008, 06:32:21 pm

Oh.... [giggle] Sometimes I don't see the dates.    :rolleyes:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 24, 2016, 05:21:41 am
Hey ML It is the linky to the actual TCF Cookbook.  I would post there to bring it up But Pagan locked it back in '07.
https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.0  is page one.

It is Not in the Food and Cooking subheading maybe you can unlock it and move it ?

OK, unlocked... and I merged this with the TCF cookbook thread. Hope that's ok.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: Moonbeam on May 27, 2016, 11:56:10 pm
To Whom It May Concern - Was this bumped to remind readers of the availability? Or are there plans to create a new recipe book?
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 28, 2016, 04:54:01 am
To Whom It May Concern - Was this bumped to remind readers of the availability? Or are there plans to create a new recipe book?

Both... some folks were kicking around the idea of creating a new book to help Elias with the money thing. I think it is a great idea, but it would require a lot of input from all of the members here and, so far, I'm not seeing any great enthusiasm for the project. We'd need volunteers to collect recipes, organize them and format so they could be published.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: DiabloLoco on May 28, 2016, 07:39:27 am
To Whom It May Concern - Was this bumped to remind readers of the availability? Or are there plans to create a new recipe book?

Both... some folks were kicking around the idea of creating a new book to help Elias with the money thing. I think it is a great idea, but it would require a lot of input from all of the members here and, so far, I'm not seeing any great enthusiasm for the project. We'd need volunteers to collect recipes, organize them and format so they could be published.
I could share a few recipes for wine.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 28, 2016, 09:27:21 am
I could share a few recipes for wine.

See if there is a thread for "wine" here in this section. If not, or anyway, start a new thread for it, label with TMM cookbook - wine recipes. Anyone can start a new thread for other categories of a cookbook that way. Let's collect recipes for a while, then determine if we have enough to start a book. I would suggest that everyone make it clear whether or not they have personally used that recipe and any problems they had with it. We're not going to be able to vet most of them collected from other people. It would be very valuable is we could say we'd actually used the recipe successfully. Not that it would be any guarantee, of course. And please use the format. I'll go dig it up and add it here...

Still will need volunteers to organize and format.
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on May 28, 2016, 10:15:50 am
I suggest we start a new thread for each category. That will make organization much easier.

Stolen from this thread: https://secure.thementalmilitia.com/forums/index.php?topic=11376.150

We ask that you submit your recipes using the template at the end of this message.  Just copy the template into your post and add the info.  If you already have a recipe on another TCF thread and you would like it to be included, please post the link here (please, be sure it includes the info asked for below).  Submissions will be accepted until the end of January 2007 for the first edition.  You can still submit after that, just be aware that it may not make the first cookbook.

In an effort to keep costs down as much as possible, we may have to keep some for a later edition depending on how many recipes are submitted, .  We want this to be a huge success and have many more cookbooks to follow this first effort.  This is a great way to share recipes and thank Claire and Debra (Elias)for creating/maintaining this wonderful community.


Categories/Sections:
            1st book:  Basics, Main Dishes, Sides, Desserts, Appetizers, Spices, Breads/Pastry, Beverages.
            2nd book:  Alternative Cooking (anything other than a conventional stove/oven) and Game

Submitter's Name:

Category:

Title:

Ingredients:

Optional Ingredients:

Directions: *Please be sure to include cooking temps and time if applicable*

Cook Time:

Servings:

Notes:
Title: Re: TCF Cookbook is now AVAILABLE!!
Post by: MamaLiberty on August 15, 2017, 07:46:45 am
Bumping this mess so it won't get lost again...