The Mental Militia Forums

General Interest => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sunni on June 11, 2003, 09:48:08 am

Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 11, 2003, 09:48:08 am
G'morning folks,

Over the weekend, I wrote an essay that's a bit unusual for me. I didn't think of it as political, but DLT disagrees. It's probably of more interest to the women here, but I welcome any and all feedback on the article:

Celebrating Impending Cronehood (http://www.sunnimaravillosa.com/misc/cronehood.html).

Thanks,

Sunni
 
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Tempest on June 12, 2003, 09:17:02 am
I enjoyed it and am glad you posted it. I thouroughly enjoy the company of older women and often prefer it over that of those in my age group(though that's slowly changing now that my age group is maturing). I love their confidence and independence. They also tend to be calmer about things that younger women get hysterical over. I watched Cher's farewell concert and got a kick out of her attitude toward being older. I never could get into the latest hair fashions or gossip, even as a teen. My long hair is greying and I'm fine with it. I, too, will be a crone with long silver locks. I've lived a lively life, tasting and testing all that I can. I will never have to look back and wish I had done something. I bare the marks of motherhood and breastfeeding, my badges of honor. Maturing without succumbing to social pressures to look a certain way is personal freedom and a political statement for sure. The article is a bit softer than I usually find at DF!, but I think it is a wonderful and worthy addition. I also find I'm more confident with myself sexually, less self-conscious and able to laugh in bed. I'm less inhibited. I know what I like and I'm not afraid to say so. Sex is as much for me as it is for the man I'm with. The best thing about becoming a crone is control over mood swings and alot less of them. I will have a croning ritual and I'm right now planning my oldest daughter's intiation into womanhood ritual. There is power and beauty in all stages of womanhood. I intend to raise a daughter who knows it and uses it wisely.
Blessings,
Tempest
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 12, 2003, 09:55:27 am
Hi Tempest,

Thank you for your extensive comments. I'm in a bit of  a rush right now, and may or may not be back to comment more fully, but I did also want to point out that the essay isn't on the Doing Freedom! (http://www.doingfreedom.com/) site, but my personal site, SunniMaravillosa.com (http://www.sunnimaravillosa.com/).
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Elias Alias on June 12, 2003, 10:51:13 am
I liked your essay on Crone-ism; a very enjoyable read for an old-timer like me. I also like, as I have for years, your ability to put yourself personally into your writing. You've caused me to feel less-alone, a more "fearless-crone"! And your "crowsfeet" was a great addition to the piece. It mirrors closely my thoughts as a teenager so many years ago when I first heard that term. I could say much more about this article you've shared with us, and may yet later, but at the moment I'd like to just ask permission to post this under your name at TMM in a section which I've barely got going. (It is a section similar to what we had on the old site which was titled "The Posts Place", where I had placed pieces by various members. I'm trying to rebuild, if slowly, a collection of favorite pieces by various members.) Cool with you?

Thanks for adding a touch of grace about life in general, and the quite positive perspective of cherishing the body's signs of having survived for decades in a very mad and crazed world.

Salute!

Elias
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 12, 2003, 10:58:40 am
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I'd like to just ask permission to post this under your name at TMM in a section which I've barely got going.

I'm honored that you'd like to share it there. Of course you may do so!  :D

And thanks for your very kind words ...
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: ladylearning on June 12, 2003, 11:04:49 pm
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I wrote an essay that's a bit unusual for me

Very nice Sunni.  I admire you even more for sharing yourself in such a warm and natural way.  People are curious about authors who's work they enjoy reading.  They want to know what's in their mind and hearts and to understand the unique qualities which make them who they are.  You apparently understand this aspect of human nature and rather than feel your privacy infringed, you've offered a private glimpse of "Sunni" to your readers as a generous gift of yourself.  You're candid, wise, strong, and beautifully feminine.  
Thanks for the gift.   :)
You said in an earlier post that you were looking forward to meeting me and having read the post without time to respond, I didn't find my way back to it so I'm glad for the opputunity to now say what a pleasure meeting you will be.

 The photos are lovely btw.  

LL
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 13, 2003, 10:04:19 am
Tempest wrote:
Quote
I never could get into the latest hair fashions or gossip, even as a teen.

Heh. Neither did I ... although I did want to fit in more than I did at school. It took me too long, but I finally realized I never would fit in, and that there was much value in that. After that epiphany, I never looked back! :D

LL wrote:
Quote
You apparently understand this aspect of human nature and rather than feel your privacy infringed, you've offered a private glimpse of "Sunni" to your readers as a generous gift of yourself.

It's interesting to me that you see it that way ... to me, it isn't much of an invasion of privacy, as I think most women deal with these issues in some fashion. I think I just gave a voice to that. Believe me, I kept plenty of things private. :)

Quote
You're candid, wise, strong, and beautifully feminine.

<blush> Thank you. I've never considered myself particularly feminine, but that seems to be a view I hold alone.

Elias wrote:
Quote
Thanks for adding a touch of grace about life in general, and the quite positive perspective of cherishing the body's signs of having survived for decades in a very mad and crazed world.

You all are too kind.
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Claire on June 13, 2003, 01:07:22 pm
Glad to see you post your cronehood essay here, Sunni. In our sometime-preoccupation with the "outside world" manifestations of our philosophy (legislation, news, etc.), I suspect we often neglect to stop and reflect on how our individualism and love of freedom affect more personal aspects of our lives. I think Don Lobo is right when he says "Celebrating Impending Cronehood" is political. It's that and more than that.
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Eternal_Vigilance on June 13, 2003, 03:55:50 pm
Sunni,
 
 Thank you for posting this wonderful bit of work. I passed it on to my wife, who I know will pass on this wisdom. I've enjoyed many of your articles, and this one shows just why. Have a wonderful weekend, and thanks again for reminding us of the truly important things in life (seems as if liberty-minded women have cornered the market, as this forum shows).

Yours in Liberty,
Randall
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Jac on June 14, 2003, 01:03:55 am
Once again, Sunni, an excellent, excellent piece of writing... (even though it is on a subject I won't ever have any experience in).

You would get along well with my great-grandmother! :D

Anyway, thanks for continuing to share with us your wonderful insights.

--Jac
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Tempest on June 14, 2003, 04:19:19 am
Oops, sorry about that! I'm not familiar with your personal site :unsure:  I'll have to check it out.
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: ladylearning on June 17, 2003, 01:14:23 am
Sunni, you've been blogged.   :)

http://www.clairewolfe.com/blog.html (http://www.clairewolfe.com/blog.html)

LL
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: debra on June 17, 2003, 09:47:04 am
Sunni, you're amazing.

I've never been able to celebrate cronedom (or its approach) for me personally; I'm afraid I've fallen for the whole youth culture/body image thing hook, line, and sinker. It's silly and it's shallow and it's ultimately doomed, yet I find myself moaning over those gray hairs in the mirror.  <_<  

I think your approach is much healthier - now how to I change the way I feel?  :P

Debra
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 17, 2003, 11:32:51 am
First, to the gentlemen -- thank you all very much for your warm and thoughtful comments. As we ladies often like to look good for the men we love as much as for ourselves, it's nice to hear positive feedback from you on this subject. Y'all are great! <coily snakey huggsss>

Quoth Lady Learning:
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Sunni, you've been blogged.

And it didn't hurt at all!  :D  Claire was nice enough to ask permission to do so ... as if I'd refuse her.

And Debra wrote:
Quote
I think your approach is much healthier - now how to I change the way I feel?

 :huh: I wish I could help you with that, but I'm not sure I can. This issue highlights one area where I think Rand was wrong. Often, one can't get one's feelings to line up with one's thinking. Feelings, being subjective, aren't always amenable to rational-driven thinking. I mean, you can logically decide that you ought to feel a certain way about something (or someone), yet the emotions don't always cooperate with this.

A person can (obviously) change the way s/he feels about something, but when it comes to deep-seated value judgments, I think it's more difficult than in other areas.

Back to the point ... I'd wager that your cronedom is still a long way off, Debra, and that perhaps some reflection on your valuation of youth/youth culture as it approaches might change your thinking and feeling some. If not, why not do what you want to maintain the look you want?
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Jac on June 19, 2003, 12:51:26 pm
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Y'all are great! <coily snakey huggsss>
Awww, geez. You've gone and made me blush! :D  
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: rick on June 20, 2003, 06:58:09 am
Thank you, Sunni, for this beautiful piece. IMHO, people who defy aging are simply trying to fake reality and, with reality, fake themselves. One day, they ill have to wake up and face the truth, no matter how many lbs of silicone and titanium they have had implanted. I think it is better to accept yourself the way you are and shape yourself the way you live. Live at ease with yourself and you ill love whatever you'll turn up to become. Live at ar with yourself and you'll lose...

rick
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: cowardly lion on June 20, 2003, 08:24:07 am
sunni, i thank you as well.  

this is an issue my wife is struggling with.  i do my best to convince her that she is as beautiful as ever, that years cannot fade her charm, but all she can see is the difference in her body over the 25 years we've been married.

i am going to ensure she sees your essay on cronehood.

cl
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 20, 2003, 01:06:16 pm
Rick wrote:
Quote
Thank you, Sunni, for this beautiful piece. IMHO, people who defy aging are simply trying to fake reality ...

 :D As a very dear friend analogized it, "It's like saying 'I've come to terms with the existence of gravity.'"

Cowardly Lion wrote:
Quote
this is an issue my wife is struggling with. i do my best to convince her that she is as beautiful as ever, that years cannot fade her charm, but all she can see is the difference in her body over the 25 years we've been married.

I think that while plenty of people are trying to fake reality -- with disastrous results, as Rick pointed out -- for many others, it's more a matter of valuing what our culture has taught them to value -- youth -- even when theirs is past.

I can't speak for men, of course, never having been one, but for women it seems particularly hard, as so many older men do trade in for a younger "trophy wife". The look of youth, for women, means fertility, and evolutionary theory explains why older men marry younger women in those terms -- childbearing potential. But I digress ...

Thank you both for adding your comments to this thread. It really does mean a lot to me.
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: rick on June 23, 2003, 04:28:00 pm
Well, it is the same with men: Look at those poor wretches who cover their bald head with the remaining three hairs wrapped three times around his skate rink or that German chancellor who went to court because a reporter had stated that he was dying his hair, which he still does. Those spam mails, advertising penis enlargements don't come out of thin air either. I bet that men beat women in vanity... ...and in faking reality. I know coleagues who rather make a fool of themselves than wear glasses... ad infinitum.
So I think it is not a question of gender if you can live in peace with yourself or not. It is, as always, a question of personality.
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: Sunni on June 24, 2003, 10:19:03 am
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Well, it is the same with men ....


I certainly wasn't trying to suggest that men can't be vain, too, or try to fake reality. I was simply pointing out that there's an explanation based in biology for why many women try to maintain a youthful look.

Quote
So I think it is not a question of gender if you can live in peace with yourself or not. It is, as always, a question of personality.

I didn't mean to suggest it is. I do think it's accurate to say that one's sex can influence these and other elements of one's way of being. Wouldn't you agree with that?
Title: For the ladies and their loves
Post by: rick on June 25, 2003, 04:02:58 pm
I agree absolutely, no problem ;-)