The Mental Militia Forums

Special Interest => Singles & the Single Life => Topic started by: Phil Carson on September 23, 2005, 02:24:01 am

Title: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Phil Carson on September 23, 2005, 02:24:01 am
Ironic, I had a classmate ask my advice on how to ask a guy out recently.  Do I look like a Advisor to you? Yeah that is what I said too.  ^_^

I told the young lady, just be herself. " But you are a guy - tell me your most memorable asking out" .

Sigh...

It was January of 1974, I graduated HS in '73. I was hitchiking to work - it was  cold at 4:30AM even here in the South. My coat broke, ziper done played out, that morning it was 15* F and the wind was just a kicking.

I borrowed mom' car, and to JC Penny I went. I could not find anything that I liked or in my size. Inventory was poor , between the holidays, and after holiday sale to reduce inventory, I figured I was gonna have to either freeze again the next morning, or borrow a coat. I was watching my money, helping to raise 3 sibs and no dad.

"Try the Catalog Dept" the salesclerk said, I shuffled to the Catlaog Dept.

"May I help you please"  < Bolt of Lightening>. Brunette, hazel eyes, and damn -What a mini-skirt....!!

*ahem* " May I help you please ?

This stuff about guys being born handsome, cool, suave, able to ride , shoot and all - it is all BS.

<tongue-tied , stammering, > "Yeah...err...YES MA'AM  I need a coat!"

Well Later I was informed what I thought I said and how I said it did not match up to the way I remember it. She said I was cute

That will blow a guys John Wayne Syndrome right quick.

There I am in worn out  flared jeans, long hair, tennis shoes , busted coat...and this Goddess of Beauty is helping me look thru a Catalog for a coat. She smelled right nice too...I hadn't showered from a l-o-n-g day.

" I think you would look great in this coat , and we can have it in store day after tomorrow, in fact I will call you when it arrives" .  Huh <yippie> ..."Yes that will be fine, thank you".

I didn't freeze my scrawney ass off the next morning, I kept warm counting down the hours...
<work phone rings>
" Your coat is in , and I will be working until 9PM tonight."

I spent  the bus fare to get home instead of hitch-hiking home, needed to get cleaned up first.

<head down puppy dog eyes> "She is at supper and won't be back until another 30 minutes ..." . 30 l-o-n-g minutes...Time stood still...

WOW! now the first mini- skirt was great - this one was FANTASTIC!

"Hi - you waitng to see me I bet".
"Nah, just got here".

<Damn her supervisor for telling off on me...gals have this giddy laugh when they think guys cannot hear them talk about guys,>

Pitter Patter- be still  my beating heart, our hand touched as she handed me my coat. Then with that "head nod, and look" she came around the counter and helped me put in on and " Looks good to me - it fits you well" - starts buttoning the coat on me...what the hell am I supposed to do? I do what guys do best - stand there and look stupid.

Grabs my hand and leads me to a mirror, I ain't recovered from the first time our hands touched...
I don't remember seeing myself in the mirror, she later affirmed there was no way I could have - I was too busy looking at her reflection in the mirror.

Dawned on me, this coat buying business was coming to a end...real fast.

" I have 4 BIGGER OLDER Brothers"
"Huh?"
"You are gonna ask me out aren't you?"

Why do women do that? I mean a guy has a hard enough time trying to be this John Wayne Syndrome bit - without the women-folk messing stuff up.

"&$)*%#@^*&(*&%$$"
Interpreted from tongue-tied, tongue feeing all swollen, sweaty, getting hot in here...

"You wanna get a burger or something sometime?"   

Crickets...Head tilt...hazel eyes glistening...arms fold/ unfold...this grin she has...I'm dying here - say something - Yes would be good...

"I have 4 really big older brothers"
"Cool, I am the eldest kid, a boy too"  < yeah I know , lame as hell - best I could do>

" I dunno, not a good idea to make a habit to go out with customers ya know...".

Truth is - she like me was poor, trying to make ends meet and dating - she had only dated one other guy , she had graduated in '72. Family stuff and making ends meet more important than dating.

While I am trying to come up with another hip , slick, cool reply...she has to wait on another customer...some lady with a screaming kid...at least I got to see her walk back into the back - sure liked that mini-skirt...

Finally the counter was quiet again. I simply said she had impressed me with her manners with me and other customers, I was not trying to hit on her, and I respected her decison - if she said no to going out " for a burger or something" - I understood.

 Her turn to act dumfuzzled. I asked to borrow the phone, called mom and asked if we needed anything on my way home. She overheard this, stlll acting dumfuzzled.

As I was leaving, " I am off tomorrow night, I will be working day after if you happen to be in the mall...". Eyes, damn her eyes - as they say - eyes are the key to the soul. I had no reason to come back - but I did.

" I live in the country" she said. I replied I knew of that area, had  hunted out that way. We visited some more about my work, her family while at the Catalog counter...small talk.

"You are the most persistent fellow I have ever met, Yes I will go get a burger or something with you".  Honest - I was shocked.

I was making a $1.60 an hour, I was using my money to help mom and 3 sibs. I had Ten dollars - the rest of my money that week had gone to buy medicine for sick sib.  I had used some of my holiiday bonus money to buy the coat. The rest of my money was always put back, hoarded - never knew when another emergency was gonna hit.

She sensed, she knew money was tight - she was in the same situation. $2 for gas, I take the '63 SuperSport out to the country, nervous as hell - cause I knew I was gonna meet the family .

"Bang, Bang, Bang".

I show up and her brothers were shooting out back. Family lived all on the same Family Farm- Thank Goodness, this actually eased me being nervous. She came down from the porch and said " come on around back" .

Brothers  - yeah they were big . Couldn't shoot for squat. "Wanna try" - looking down on me.  Well I had been shooting since forever. I did not impress the brothers - I actually pissed them off and made her Daddy and Momma laugh.

The rifle was laid aside, they made a big mistake - they handed me a shotgun, and loaded up the clay thrower. Even back then, the shotgun was an extension of me. I got cocky, "bet you a dime for ever bird busted ".  I really could not afffored to lose. It was not to impress my date - hell I just liked shooting - and had made myself learn shotgunning REAL WELL. I took 18 dimes. Got most of my gas money back. I never missed a target. I offered to pay for the clays - her daddy said " hell no you ain't - you give lessons?.
My date at first...shocked! Then she got real smug and had a real good time of "her date" showing up the brothers.

Daddy said he like to shoot his pistol, Model 10 , I asked if he had a 1911, he had one - but not his favorite. Date shot the Model 10 - dang she was good. I shot the 1911..."one of these dates we are gonna have later - you WILL teach me that gun".  *GRIN*

Tired of sisters date spoiiing the fun, brothers piped up -" don't ya'll have someplace to be".

We headed off out the way , toward the big lake. Pulled over to a Mom&Pop Country Store, had meat sliced, bought bread , chips, sodas, and candy bars. We had a picnic on up the way, we plinked with my .22 revolver, we watched the stars and moon.

Come to find out - her supervisor at work had said " that boy allright - he ain't gonna bite". Later her momma and daddy  told her the same thing ,and " damn sure fun watching him piss off the boys, where'd that boy learn to shoot?"

Second date. We were both broke, so she and I shot tin cans off the back fence post at her place. She too was a great pistol shooter.  Always wanted to learn to shoot a shotgun. I just happened to know the right fellow to teach her. *wink*

Dated that gal for 3 and a half years. Some 25 yrs later we did marry. Just some things don't work out is all. Life is...well life is what it is.


I'll be damned if my classmate did not ask out the fellow, she said she stuttered and stammered. The guy said yes. She took him for a drive and had a picnic out in the country. Funny how some stuff never changes and always works.

Phil


Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Kirsten on September 23, 2005, 01:10:55 pm
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Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Bill St. Clair on September 23, 2005, 01:18:45 pm
Nice story, Kirsten. But then what happened?
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Scarmiglione' on September 23, 2005, 01:22:35 pm
Didn't get to take my future wife out.  Didn't get to ask her out until we were already together.

She's the sister of a friend of a friend and me and my friend spent our first summer away from college at his friend's house and we got to know each other there.

And then she seduced the little succubus and I had to ask her mother for permission to date her.


/Cradlerobber.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Phil Carson on September 23, 2005, 03:06:45 pm
Quote
Nice story, Kirsten. But then what happened?

+1

Quote
WHY DIDN'T HE CAAAALLLLL?!?!?! 

Men are insentive bastards.  :ph34r:
I ought to know - I are a guy.  :ph34r: :ph34r:

Truth is - this stereotype is not gender specific. Guys just will not admit going thru this painful - waiting experience. Sometimes there is an actual emergency - legitmate reason. Sometimes folks play games to hurt. Sometimes...sometimes too much hope and too much read into this relationship stuff.  I just state up front - I don't play games, "we" are gonna be responsible adults , if it don't work out - it don't work out. At least be honest and state the reasons for ending the relationship - end it, drop it, move on.

Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: purple kitty on September 23, 2005, 08:25:39 pm
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Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: penguinsscareme on September 23, 2005, 11:01:35 pm
Digging deep into the hollow corridors of memory...

You don't go to the plumbing supply store expecting to see a vision of beauty and grace, but on that particular day I did.  I was thunderstruck as soon as I saw those vivacious green eyes darting between keyboard and computer screen.  Her hair was a coppery, rusty red color, and you could get lost in it.  Her face was one like you would expect to see gazing out over a misty gray Irish Sea, not ringing a register under flourescent tubes.  I weighed whether to turn around and walk out or turn around and run out, so grossly unprepared was I to ask her to give me a union, er, ballcock!  nipple!  female orifice!  GA-ACK!!

Before I was able to snap out of it, she unabashedly greeted me and asked if she could help me with anything.  She noticed me!  She's acknowledging my presence!!  :sign19:

It took me a good moment to remember that I was actually there to buy something.  I mumbled something about a flaring tool, careful to avoid eye contact.

They had more than one kind of the item that I needed, as it happened, so she offered to take me to the aisle and show me what they had.  I tried not to stare when she stepped out from behind the counter, but damn.  She had shoulders and legs like an Olympic swimmer.  Broad shoulders, generously proportioned breasts, broad hips, and thighs, I mean, thighs that could crack walnuts.  Firm.  Mm-hm.  Perky.  Yes.  When she took me to the aisle I was looking for, I knelt down on one knee to look at the selection which was kept on the bottom shelf.  As she leaned in to explain the differences, her hair fell across my shoulder and I got a whiff of her scent.   :sign19:  I didn't hear a single word she said, and yet I was transfixed on the sound of her voice.  It was dusky, but it was soft.

We completed the transaction without too much further incident.  I worked up enough courage to ask her what kind of perfume she wore, and told her it was quite distracting.  I couldn't be entirely certain, but I thought I saw a bit of blush behind the freckles.  And when she smiled at me, it seemed like she was really smiling at me, not just smiling at a customer.  We would engage in pleasant, surprisingly easy small talk for a moment, and I subtly worked in an exchange of first names.  Becky.  It was Becky.

I thought about her all that night and all the next day.  Something had to be done!  A girl like that doesn't just drop in on your day every day!  Yes, action must be taken.  A plan there must be.  To impress is good, but overwhelm, do not.  Why did my inner monologue suddenly sound like Yoda?

I forced myself to wait three whole days before I went back to see her, er, that is, to get some, uh, stuff.  Sure enough, there she was (it had never occurred to me that she might not be there that day), looking even better than I remembered, if that were possible.

"Oh hi!  Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes you can," I replied with a sly grin.  I couldn't have hoped for better luck up to this point.  I felt great.  "Do you like baseball?"

"Baseball?"

"Yeah, you know, the Sox?"

"Uh, yeah."  She was off balance, but intrigued.  Interested, in other words.  Precisely the reaction I had been hoping for.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go see a Red Sox game with me sometime."

"Oh wow, I would really like that."  Wait for it..."But I have a boyfriend."

 :BangHead:

I can't remember exactly who said what after that.  But somehow I ended up thanking her for something, and she turned it around on me and said, No, thank you.  I think she was genuinely flattered and somewhat more interested in me than she perhaps should have been.  Whatever the reason, that's the most fun I've ever had being rejected.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: penguinsscareme on September 24, 2005, 07:45:01 am
[oops, hit "quote" when I meant to hit "modify"]
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Kirsten on September 24, 2005, 05:37:11 pm
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Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Kirsten on September 24, 2005, 05:59:11 pm
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Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: rayray on September 24, 2005, 07:08:15 pm
Yes, be yourself of course.  Tell your stories from your history as you know them.  Be honest.  That is what means the most.  Not much new to say but I have just been on this particular forum.  I'd say hey man, be cool, but that's not what it's about.  Just say hello and if he or she is interested in that, tell it brothers and sisters.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: penguinsscareme on September 24, 2005, 11:38:17 pm
PSM, what if she had said she didn't like baseball?  Was there a backup plan, or would that have been a complete deal-breaker, or...?
No, and no.  There was no backup plan, and it would not have been a deal breaker.  If she didn't like baseball, I'd still have proposed taking in a game with me, except instead of going to root for the Sox together in eternal anguish, it would have been to introduce her to a subculture.  Hell, she could have been a stark raving Yankees fan and I wouldn't have cared.  I mean, sports is sports, but there are some things that are more important.  The ballgame was just a vehicle.  If it had been hockey season, I'd have asked her to a Bruins game.  I knew that I would succeed or fail based solely on my own merits.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Bill St. Clair on September 25, 2005, 03:30:14 pm
Thanks, Kirsten, for telling the rest of your story.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: securitysix on September 26, 2005, 04:56:58 pm
PSM, what if she had said she didn't like baseball?  Was there a backup plan, or would that have been a complete deal-breaker, or...?
No, and no.  There was no backup plan, and it would not have been a deal breaker.  If she didn't like baseball, I'd still have proposed taking in a game with me, except instead of going to root for the Sox together in eternal anguish, it would have been to introduce her to a subculture.  Hell, she could have been a stark raving Yankees fan and I wouldn't have cared.  I mean, sports is sports, but there are some things that are more important.  The ballgame was just a vehicle.  If it had been hockey season, I'd have asked her to a Bruins game.  I knew that I would succeed or fail based solely on my own merits.

So you're saying that you had a plan, but not a backup plan...shame on you.  If she had been single and had said no to the ball game, you'da then had to wing it.  You're a smoother sort of person, so you'd prolly come up with something better than "Damn...Guess I'll take my buddy Bob to the ball game.  Wanna grab a beer and pizza some time?"  Of course, that might have worked for certain people, but my luck, she'd throw the computer monitor at me to distract me, then set me on fire or something.  :)

Actually, I joke a lot about why I'm single, but the real reason is because I'm too lazy to look and don't bother to even put myself out there.  Can't find someone if the only women in your life are your mother and a friend's fiance.  That's OK, though.  I'll stick with guns for the moment.  They're quieter and cheaper to feed than women. :) (There needs to be a running away icon...)  And yes, I am putting on my asbestos suit as I run away at a full sprint.
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: penguinsscareme on September 26, 2005, 08:16:44 pm
Well my point was that I wasn't banking on the ballgame to be the hook, it was just an excuse to get her to spend time with me.  The hook was supposed to be me, get it?  If she really said yes to me and no to the ballgame, I'd have been just as happy to take her to shoot pool, ride rollercoasters, hell, I'd have shined all her shoes for a first date if it would have gotten my foot in the door.

And great story, Kirsten.  Can I call you Special K.?
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Kirsten on September 26, 2005, 11:26:15 pm
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Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Joel on September 27, 2005, 09:09:17 am
Quote
Plus, he is one beautiful, beautiful man. *sigh*

 :laugh: Well, I like his hair...
Title: Re: Asking someone out - Being asked out
Post by: Phil Carson on September 27, 2005, 09:17:15 am
<whispered>
 Well, you won't know unless you ask now will you? Go ahead and ask , the worst thing that can happen is he says "no", I mean I doubt he will shoot you or anything. If he does shoot you, try to fall on the hardwood floor -  that is a new throw rug and all...

I heard the shuffled steps come my way, peering over the book I was reading, I noticed neon green fuzzy slippers with eyes that moved, moving my eyes upward, I noticed knobby knees, one sporting a cartoon bandaid, the other a bruise. Just above the knees was the bottom of a T-shirt, my eyes slowly raising I read past the mustard stain and read " Put something hard and vibrating between your legs", continuing to raise my eyes I noticed she had a piece of corndog in her smiling teeth , accented by a busted lip. The eyes were soulful blue, the dirty blond hair was mussed, and one tuft of hair in particular...

<blows tuft of hair away>

HiIhavetwoticketstotheplayandneedadateandyouareit.

I had just been asked out by a Seven year-old, I think.  This was confirmed after the seven-year old wearing a Harley T shirt looked back toward her mom and asked "Was that Okay?"

To which the mom [laughing, but not too hard] replied - "You might consider trying it again, a bit slower this time".

Hi, I have two tickets to the play I really really want to see. Since Mommy can't go, would you please, please, please be my date?

Now honestly, how can a guy turn down a date proposal such as that?

"I don't have any frog slippers to wear" - I replied.

<giggling> You would look funny  in frog slippers...Mom - do they have bigger slippers like mine?

Tip: do not try to outwit a seven year-old - you will lose.

Classmate , single mom raising a 'darling daughter', the kind of kid that goes into the Grocery Store wearing a "Nuke Berkley" T -shirt...well some folks might object, then again having a child attired as such does get folks to steer clear and one can find a empty check out lane. Then again mom didn't think to check to see if the kid was wearing shorts underneath - kid was not.

The tickets had been bought in advance, of course there was no way to know Mom would have an emergency appendectomy. Coming home from hosptial just days before the play was to be performed. Mom and I were taking the same classes, since all of our assignments , quizzes and exams were conducted online - I was just sharing the lecture via micro cassette tapes , and my lecture notes.

Live theatre I enjoy.  So I hated the fact the mom and daughter could not enjoy this quality time together, still the kid needed to be a kid.

I got money  Kid runs to her room   <strange noises coming from  kid's room>   runs back See? Twenty- seven dollars , change, some .22 brass, some .22 cartridges, hair-pin, Lifesavers, lint, P38 can-opener...I have a new blue oxford shirt...

The date:

I opened the truck door for the young lady dressed in kahkis, blue oxford shirt, cordovan penny loafers with a tuft of hair in the way...

We looked like twinkies, of course I kinda knew this was gonna happen, after about the umpteeth time being told about her new blue oxford shirt and being asked if my blue oxford shirt , kahkis, were clean and how cordovan shoe polish being rubbed into the kitchen table makes the wood look good. Mom always made her use newspapers to protect the table, then again when mom is asleep, using newspapers does not  come to a child's mind.

Seems my date figured eating before the play was best, Mexican food with cheese dip is what you are supposed to have before The Swiss Family Robinson. I thought it was cheeseburgers, at least that is what my nephew said some years earlier when I took him to see the same play at the time. Must be a gender dealie. Being a guy and all, what do I know about the proper food for what play?

Two adult Satillo plates, large cheese and extra hot sauce. Punch sucks, so my date suggested and ordered for us both iced tea....with lemon, don't forget the lemon please Yeah well you know what they say, women can eat if they want to...

We arrive early to the Art Center, we peruse the galleries. Must of been some good drugs...looks like a trash bag with a stick trying to poke out I had to agree with my date the "Art Crtique". I like the pretty colors on that one, see the way that does that...that is called lighting, and that part is called shading

Okay, where did my seven-year old date go?

Oh cool!  I like Pi...Pica...
"Picasso"
Yeah I like Picasso's "stuff", these here are not 'charcoals', they call them Sketch's - he did them with a pencil

My date became fixated. We were looking a Rodin's Gates of Hell Okay a really neat copy of it anyway. I pointed out the Thinker, she was totally in awe of the 'sketches' the individual pieces, pictures of sculptures...That is really really cool! I haven't got to that part in mom's Art book thingy yet I guess...

I am centered enough to not care one whit if my date buys me dinner, or hands the lady ticket taker the tickets. I can be "pulled' down a aisle to "our bestest seats". I mean this is stiil considered holding hands - right?

My date giggled, grinned, jumped at the sound of gun shots, jumped back into her seat with the waving of swords, pouted her lip , laughed, yelled, screamed in fright, and basically had a great time "participating" with all the rest of the kids in the Theatre...no matter how old all "we" kids in the Theatre may have been.

One always thinks about the end of the evening, how is this date going to end? All sorts of things run through both parties minds, at some point the date ends...

Wait...go there, turn...turn, yeah I wanna there ...

My date wanted ice cream.

I can carry the handbasket and "eventually" catch up to younger woman running down the frozen food aisle.

That one...no the other one without the yucky stuff on the outside "Plop"! Good thing I had a good grip on the handles...

Crumpled up list is removed from kahkis pocket Since we are here and everything...

Yeah well made sense to me...sorta.

Bag salad, York peppermint candy, Milanos cookies, banannas ( not too green ya know) Chunky Clam chowder soup, and is this chocolate pudding I like? Being a guy and all - I used my powers as such- spent about 2 seconds to deteremine in fact that indeed was "her" favorite. Snagged the White Chocolate one as well. Hey it was new and figured "since we had held hands and all" ( must mean we had gone onto the next level - right? ) I can suggest a new pudding. Then again if we had been on another aisle I might have suggested and put in the handbasket the stuff guys are notorious for putting into a ladies basket - you know, sardines, smoked oysters...

Crumpled money was also pulled from tiny pockets, along with .22 brass and plopped onto the counter. Checker asked if we had 4 cents, date looked up at me pay her Hey I am guy, I just follow orders, I gave the checker the 4 pennies...

My date invited me in. Hey - this was a new and interesting twist on a 'first date'. No hem-hawing, no stalling, no small talk to kill time...

I gotta pee!

Unlocks door, and as she runs to bathroom " come on in....

<doors banging, drawers opening / closing from down the hall>

"Honey, did you forget something?"

Like what? < yelled from down the hall>

"Your 'date'".

Yeah well do something with 'it'

When asked if my date had a good time, my date had turned into a frog, well partially anyway. Frog Feet replied -
YeahIhadareallycooltime...wehadcheesedip...

For us non seven year olds: Yeah I had a really cool time...we ate cheese dip...

<animations of play, arms waving, swishing swords, shooting guns...>

Sawsomesuckyartsomereallyneatartlikeinyourartbookreallyreallyneatoneaboutthinking...

For us non seven year olds: Saw some sucky art, some really neat art like in your art book, really really neat one about thinking...

Now I was really having a hard time making a decision on my way home. You know how it goes, the date is over, there you are a guy driving home alone, your date is at her place. You start 'thinking' , re-playing the whole evening. Oh I was doing that all right, what I was contemplating?  Did I want to remove the chocolate  'lipstick' off my cheek or the chocolate off my moustache first when I arrived home?

Hey, at least I didn't have to endure that " are we gonna kiss goodnight" dealie. She came over to my side of the table where I was sitting, kissed me on the cheek and noticed chocolate ice cream on my moustache. Never kissed a guy  with a moustache before, then she kissed me , giggled that tickles...mom you can kiss my date to see what if feels like if you want...
Offer was declined.

I will never forget my date saying goodnight. Frog Feet walk outside the door with me,  I bend down she hugs me, and thru the slammed door Bye!

Few days later...

Well I had appreciated the fine time on my 'first date" with Frog Feet. Now being a Southern Gentleman and all...no chocolate was not a good idea, flowers, I don't know, I mean this chocolate and flower sending bit is kinda, well...

Mom....hurry...open it...hurry Oh COOL its "Rodents Thingy"

"Rodin"

Yeah well so what, look this is the guy that looks like he is sitting on the pot...

I figured chocolates get eaten, flowers wilt and die. I mean a lady is supposed to remember her 'first date' and all. Figured a Art Center Copy of Rodent's...err Rodin's Gates of Hell would do the trick.

Phil