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Author Topic: Velotopia, in nationstates  (Read 5121 times)

velojym

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Velotopia, in nationstates
« on: July 16, 2007, 11:33:58 am »

In a fit of boredom, while we were in IA, I started a country there. While I did notice the socialist tendencies mentioned before in this forum,
I figured I'd give it a shot anyway.

    
Quote
The Free Land of Velotopia
"We didn't do it, nobody saw us do it, can't prove it."

UN Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Superb    Economy:
Very Strong    Political Freedoms:
Very Good
Location: Firefly
   
Regional Influence: Minnow

The Free Land of Velotopia is a very large, economically powerful nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 83 million enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.
Because, as we all know, people will *never* show any sort of compassion or generosity unless taken by force...

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There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Commerce, with areas such as Social Welfare and Religion & Spirituality receiving almost no funds by comparison. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery industries.

Hey, you can get a good pizza... fast! What better gauge of civilization??? Social Welfare and Religion are personal issues which are best left to people, not the government. As you can see, I don't rob my people blind.

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It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, and the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Velotopia's national animal is the deer tick, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the doubloon.

I'm wondering where those cops came from in the first place... the city sidewalks were crowded overnight with fat people due to my unwillingness to hold a gun to their head while they Sweat to the Oldies, I refused to steal money to build a stadium (I guess theft-based sports are the only acceptable sort), and I see my anti-socialist stand on maternity leave has helped the economy. The nationstates program evidently only accepts that a force of stormtroopers or a socialist utopia can reduce crime, so my hard-nosed, well armed populace is evidently completely helpless. Bleh.
I knew ahead of time that they'd bring up the issue of protecting the national animal, so I got a little wierd with it. At first I'd chosen the crab louse, but settled on the proud and majestic deer tick. I like mine on lice with gravy.
What better currency for a CPC nation than the doubloon?  :icon_pirat:
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Velotopia is ranked 19th in the region and 47,866th in the world for Most Subsidized Industry.

[View Dossier]

Since I don't subsidize industry, that number will never get very high.

Of course, the whole system can't be anywhere near realistic, as it still assumes that Velojym has ultimate power, and is the be-all end-all authority on any issue that comes up. If this were a real place, I doubt it'd be this bad, but I'd have a problem hanging with folks who looked to the government for everything. Oh, yeah... I'm there now.
Dammit!
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kirgi07

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2007, 11:53:16 am »

V, you did have sometime on your hands,what do you say to a mob/mafiosi,saying we got a bunch of staked pigeons here.lets go and make it safe from people like us,for a reasonable insurance rate of course.PM incoming. Ought 7
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If you look like food you will be EATEN.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

velojym

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2007, 12:30:04 pm »

Since I never approved funding for cops in my little country, there must already be some sort of organized gang doing it. I have to wonder why their bitching to me about
lack of funding, though, since I never hired 'em in the first place.
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kirgi07

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2007, 01:17:21 pm »

Man,youse crushing my schemes,so I guess all I'd have to do is throw Mr.Modest here some Baksheesh and go about my bidness. :rolleyes: :wub:oops Ought 7 just ta remind you who's tweaking your beard.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2007, 01:19:16 pm by kirgi07 »
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If you look like food you will be EATEN.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

velojym

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2007, 12:05:10 am »

Shh... careful... if we don't keep it within guidelines, the thread'll get locked.

If'n ya want, you can dig in and see who's paying for all those cops. I mean... I'm supposed to be in charge, right?
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Rarick

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2007, 12:17:28 am »

Who needs cops, uninvited guests crossing my well posted and warned property line get to say hello to a tube with a bore measured in .308, 12 gauge or.45.......... while being asked to leave, that is their second warning, the third will involve the sound of thunder and a hospital visit if they are lucky.
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........Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a darkside and holds the universe together.  It is theoretically reinforced with strings too.  (The dome has a darkside, lightside and strings of rebar for reinforcement too!)
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Most of the time news is about the same old violations of the first principles of consent and golden rule with a dash of force thrown in........ with just enough duct tape to be believable.

velojym

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2007, 12:36:23 am »

Who needs cops, uninvited guests crossing my well posted and warned property line get to say hello to a tube with a bore measured in .308, 12 gauge or.45.......... while being asked to leave, that is their second warning, the third will involve the sound of thunder and a hospital visit if they are lucky.

Yep, I never made any move to make the population defenseless.
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kirgi07

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2007, 12:58:07 am »

So do you require a bigger amount of Baksheesh,or do I have ta go to the source of the problem,I'd hate to suggest your own,hate ta do this your EGO.Just tryin ta keep ya honest(within the parameters uve set of course)With respect Ought 7.
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If you look like food you will be EATEN.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

velojym

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2007, 11:48:12 am »

Ah, but my ego doesn't bruise so easily, and I don't demand any sort of tribute. I keep telling the people to take care of themselves, and they still come to me with
their problems. So... I give them answers, whether they like them or not. I think, for instance, some of those waddlers choking the sidewalks are only doing it to spite
me. Ah, well. If that's what they want to do, more power to 'em.
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kirgi07

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2007, 12:45:01 pm »

So I see,your to take that position,like a modern day Wizard of OZ.You'll heip the masses as long as it's convienent,and doesn't interfer with your own mandate.Aint that douledipping,or at least a conflict of interest.I guess since your Lord over all you survey,a little hypocrisy is par for the course. :rolleyes: ^_^
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If you look like food you will be EATEN.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

velojym

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2007, 01:01:32 pm »

So I see,your to take that position,like a modern day Wizard of OZ.You'll heip the masses as long as it's convienent,and doesn't interfer with your own mandate.Aint that douledipping,or at least a conflict of interest.I guess since your Lord over all you survey,a little hypocrisy is par for the course. :rolleyes: ^_^


Nope. I'm perfectly straightforward with these people. If they want to ignore me, I've no problem with it. They keep coming to me with issues, and I dismiss most of 'em as none of my business, but a few times I have to smack 'em upside the head and tell 'em to figure it out for themselves.
Wizard of Oz? Well... he had a cool balloon... I'd prefer a fixed-wing.
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Rarick

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Re: Velotopia, in nationstates
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2007, 10:49:40 pm »

I suspect the TaxMan in velotopia is really a scammer waiting for justice, eh? :rolleyes:  ONce again if he crosses the (appropriately marked) line......  Like any other crook, the bakshyster, vigger, victimoid, and racketeer as well.
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........Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a darkside and holds the universe together.  It is theoretically reinforced with strings too.  (The dome has a darkside, lightside and strings of rebar for reinforcement too!)
-------------------------------------------
Most of the time news is about the same old violations of the first principles of consent and golden rule with a dash of force thrown in........ with just enough duct tape to be believable.
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