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Author Topic: April 19 And Some Years  (Read 2959 times)

Elias Alias

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April 19 And Some Years
« on: April 19, 2005, 03:06:31 pm »

And the painted ponies go 'round and 'round....


I wrote the following two years ago while the Cheney-Bush Junta was raping Iraq. This is an authentic Elias Alias "rant", so if you're not into rants, just skip this one. (But I would recommend scrolling down to the list of names of the dead of Waco and meditating for a moment on behalf of their ascended souls.)

I posted this rant at TMM two years ago. It is my custom now to go back and re-read it on 419 each year:

I should note for anyone who decides to read this that at the time it was written, it was written while I was being tormented by a CIA agent calling himself Robert Espy, from Dulles, Virginia and one of his associates, "asunnyone",  in Nashville, Tennessee. Bark, TMM's webmaster, tracked 'em down for us. They had got my street address in Montana and had sent me a number of very weird emails regarding Espy's breaking into my home while I was away. Both of them had severely disrupted TMM's message board with incessant tripe and idiocy, ruining it. So keep that all in mind as you read the following, as several sections of the rant address those two idiots. The message board alluded to in this rant is not TCF; and I want that to be very clear up front. Methinks that at the time I wrote this I was pissed by the invasion of Iraq, the problems coming from those two stupid agents, and the rolling around once again of 419. So, it's a raw and candid rant.


April 19...
 Spring is in the air for most of America. And lo, the troops have arrived on Flight Iraqi Liberty and the willing (and paid) armed forces of American Primacy have taken, without much fuss, the airport of Baghdad, wretched symbol of tyrannical despotism that it is, and GOOD and FAIR and JUST and that God of Gods, DEMOCRACY OH HOLIEST OF HOLIES now prevaileth as the siege of Baghdad awaits like a blooming of HEAVEN's lotus.
 THAT is where all of Saddam's sins shall be revealed in mountains of wmds, bio/chem weapons, nukes most horrendous and despicable, all the terrors of modern civilization which we civilized nations could sell to Iraq, all the symbols of the madness of man, all the best that money can buy, shall finally be found in a great vindication of Bush's lies before the world. Where, oh where, did Saddam get all the money with which to buy those wmds? Could it be that he got the bucks to play our Corporate Death games by selling us oil for our precious automobiles and plastics industries? Isn't Oil what Saddam has traded us for all those armaments? Lord Bush and his angelic choir only know, as told by his prophetic father around some mesquite campfire at a family outing prior to the history of Saddam's defeat.
 Never must we mere mortals question "why" the President's father withdrew prior to climax in 1991, leaving Saddam in power in Iraq, after, as our religious media attested with fanfare and famous forebodings, defeating him in Desert Storm. No, let us not speak of the father's failure, especially when that failure had to be literally engineered, had to be "arranged". Bush Snr. had Saddam in 1991 and let him remain in power. We must not ask why. But I do ask why, and do not need your paltry answers. I am given an understanding, an understanding which comes from listening to the peers of both Bushes, the elder and the younger, each of which would follow in this Grandfather Bush's boots. It is not public knowledge that the President's grandfather extended credit and supplies to Hitler during World War II, and that the Congress itself seized his assets under the "Trading With The Enemy Act". That is history, and neither Espy nor any other soul-less ghoul of dispassionate logic can deny it, for it is on the written records of this very government now headed-up by the traitor's grandson, G.W. Bush. Quite the guy, Prescott Bush. And what a son he sired! Holiness works in miraculous ways, no doubt. As karmic comedy would have it, the man who traded goods to Hitler in WWII even as America's sons went "over there" across the seas to smite Hitler while facing bullets provided by Grandpa Bush, Ol' Prescott Bush produced a son who became the first Bush in the people's White House, oh Glory to God and the Almighty for evermore! And what a legacy evolved from that fair turn of fate, that his grandson also ends up at the nation's helm as finale. Amazing, but then, this is America, where anyone can grow up to be President, even the son of a greedy traitor. Even, and especially-so, Liars and murderers. The Bush clan proves it.
 Yes, it is Spring in America. The mass-media is once again a chorus of affirmation, announcing and trumpeting the justness of yet another illegal war brought to you by Amerika, Inc., and produced by the Globalizing Socialist Bankers, directed by G.W. Bush and Company, with all credits given in the sacred name of G.O.D. For the unitiated, G= Gold; O= Oil; and D= Drugs. (Tip of the hat and a salute to Michael Ruppert for that translation.) The three aspects of Amerikan Primacy; G.O.D. Bring up the flag, the great lie, the excuse for invasion, the banners of Imperialism and Conquest, the Proclamations of Hegemonic Righteousness, and cap them all with the Swastika and the Red Bear of Communistic Socialism, of STATISM PURE and UNADULTRATED, for somewhere the dark flower now blooms upon the once-barren land of honesty and dignity, of truthfulness and accountability, of sovereignty and nobility, of statesmanship and love of life, of freedom and naturalness. Let Slavery ring, eh?
 Yes, it is Spring, and a pastel gentleness rides the air as it is drawn into foul lungs which border darkened hearts, pumping ardously the sick fluids of State worship: Oh Great and Divine Government Which Must Rule Over Man, we accept Ruby Ridge as being necessary for the greater good of society; we accept Waco for the greater good of society; we accept Oklahoma City for the greater good of society; we accept every war of the Twentieth Century for the greater good of society, and we shall accept the Demise of American Liberty for the greater good of society. We accept the assassination of JFK by the CIA; we accept the lying, the deception, the robbery, the murder in our names, the oppression, the bulging prisons holding "criminals by governmental definition", we accept the unbearable taxation, we accept the hidden tax called Inflation, we accept governmental intrusion, we accept our roles as willing servants, slaves, subservient and selfless saints of the new G.O.D., in the Holy name of the Fatherland, the Homeland, the National Security State which inheriteth the world by default.
 Yea, we accept everything, and bow our knees and our heads in silent acceptance of every violation of our once-prized Constitution and Bill of Rights, for THY WILL means more to us than our own lost wills, which somewhere along the way we've managed to barter for our daily bread. We accept all this and worship it with the sacrament of our daily rituals and our actions. Bring forth the Great Rule, Amerikan Primacy, Global Conquest, and Democracy. And while you're at it, Lord, bring forth yet greater visions of Disneyland and General Electric and General Motors, in this year of our Ford, 2003AD. We love Big Brother, giver and granter of our Rights, supporter of our pleasures, furnisher of our moods and wiles, worm within our emptied souls, teaser of our mental states, prison-keeper of our futile thoughts, prophet of our demise, executioner and gravedigger.
 Revolution? Revolt? Rage? Ha! What need have we of such antiquities? Give us our Pooh Bears and our Super Bowls, our ribbons of patriotism and nationality, our rights to hate our neighbors and yes oh yes forever give us our gasoline powered automobiles, horseless chariots of steel and pistoned fire, rolling over the face of the earth. Give unto us these things, oh State, and we shall serve thee forever more. Amen.
 It has been one decadent decade since April 19, 1993. Longer since April 19, 1992; and but eight years since April 19, 1995. Let us now don our chains and shackles, and let us accept our new Homeland Security under the careful guidance of that Federal Government which gave us this date for its own edification. Let us continue to fund this Beast, continue to work for it, to support it, participate in its cute little elections, swallow its lies, to believe in it, to worship it with our daily actions in every way! Yes! Yes! Bring on the State to end all States! Number One! Us! The U.S.! The Ultimate Winner! Pour oil down our throats and light it for out light, filling us with it, drowning us in it, stuffing our guts with its blackness and its enhanced fluidity, its fiery finality! Bring it to us. Get it no matter what you have to do! We yearn with open mouths and wallets for it. Rape us for it, tear down our culture with it, sprinkle it across the unborn child in our oily belly, and give us the profits of all drug-dealing world-wide with which to drug ourselves into complacency. Let us ever shop until we drop. Yes, God Bush, do what thou shalt, and do it all in our name, for we have signed our names on the Lamb's everlasting book of Federal Accounting and are all weighed and found to NOT be wanting at the bottom line. Let our Portfolio's bulge, Let Statism Ring across Greed's Bell as we partake of life's feast with its chalice of black oil, black opium, and black gold.
 April 19 is drawing nigh once again. Where are we, America? Is our soul married yet to the spirit of Ruby Ridge? To Waco? To Oklahoma City? Have we swallowed the sweet taste of submission to forces which would give us such sacraments as we kneel before their divine authority? Do we give a damn?
 I cannot live with acquiescence to Evil. I'm sorry, y'all, but I just cannot do it. I never bought it, never paid for it, never even saw it on my shopping list, and ain't about to bring it home with me to the place where I live. I do not want it for you either, and am willing to help you in every way to deny its existence upon our great land. I choose to stand against it. And what do I have with which to avert this avalanche of Statism? Not much. A message board and an idea or two. No big deal, I'll agree.
 But for even possessing that much, I am now tormented by Statists who've nothing better to do than interrupt the intelligent discussion at this board with their inane Statist bullshit and worthless inuendos of incoherent distraction from every point of concern to which Americans today are heirs. We have the Warren Commission. We have the CIA's being exposed in a hundred lies and murders and drug-dealing. We have illegal laws on our legal books. We have Ruby Ridge. We have Waco. We have Oklahoma City. We have an IRS and a Federal Reserve System, Inc. We have a War on Drugs. We have an Empire to run. We have Democracy to spread.
 Soon enough the American people shall see that we also have a President who gave us with his own complicity the events now called "911". We have, unbelievably, an Administration which has hired a man with known connections to business ties with Ossama Bin Laden as the head of the Investigation into the affairs of 911; and we now have that Administration's arrogance shoved at us like the Final Gun Barrel of the appointment of a former Russian KGB Chief to the Homeland Security Agency. Wow. What else do we want? That the Bush family and the bin Laden families have shared vacations together and have shared business relationships for years is not much to brag about, but what else might we want, eh?
 How nicely and neatly must we insist this Administration package our slavery for us? The Government LIED about Ruby Ridge. The Government LIED about Waco. The Government LIED about Oklahoma City. The Government Lied about the CIA's drug-dealing. The Government lied to us about the Bay of Pigs, Gary Powers, Laos, Chile, Guatamala, and a hundred other nasty deeds. And the Government is lying to us today, on countless fronts, including this War on Iraq, which was deliberately staged by Bush Snr.'s arming of Saddam in the 1980s and his refusal to take Saddam out when he had our troops outside Baghdad in 1991. Bush Snr. Lied about selling Iraq one and a half billion dollars' worth of wmds in the 1980s. The Government is LYING about Iraq now. And we swallow the lie as though it were some kind of foreign oyster, hoping it will slip down our throats before we have to taste it. We do not want to chew on the lie, we just want to swallow it, like any back-alley whore. That is what Statism has done for Human Dignity in Amerika, Inc. That is what we have usurped of Jefferson's and Henry's and Franklin's and Washington's legacy. We eat this government's shit and call it our daily bread, and shake our heads and say that it's bigger than any one man can manage or control, so we must accept it or lose our homes and livelihoods and the toys of our children, who need plastic and gov-issued vaccination shots for to live successful lives.
 People of America, I have news for you.
 Everything we need for a wake-up call, we have already. If we refuse to see the handwriting on the wall, we shall pay at the final curtain-call. Our Congress has been stolen and peopled by servants of the New World Order. Our courts work for the same masters. Our White House houses the epitome of dark sacrilege and treason against us. Our Government thrives on secrecy. Our police have been militarized against us. Our money has been confiscated by a corrupt monetary system, shielded by bogus and illegal "laws". Our children's minds are bent to worship our flag instead of our birthright in freedom. All is usurped. Chemical trails are our daily signs from Heaven. (Someday soon, with UNcle Samuel's crooked finger pointing at Syria or Iran or even the vestiges of a disappearing Iraq, those chemtrails will rain down upon us nothing short of death. Can we really afford to believe the government's declaration of "no fire" about the missing twenty vials of Plague down in Lubbock, Texas? Are you sure about that? Got enough bottled water, gas masks, dried goods, duct tape and plastic sheets to withstand what the CIA has up its sleeve for you next? Really? Would you prefer to think that the major drug distributor on this planet, the assassinating kings of the clandestine underworld, the liars supreme, the CIA, shall not surely give us yet a larger example of terror than it gave us on 911? Feel confident about that, do you? Fine. You were told before hand. There is nothing else I can do. See as thou wilt. Do as thou shalt. Scorn and deride the messenger, disclaim me personally, overlook history, ignore facts presented by dying martyrs such as the previous Deputy Director of the FBI, John O'Neil and David Schippers and Michael Ruppert. Sure, go ahead, live in denial of it. But all the while, take note of the divorce rates, the suicide rates, the interdictions upon your travels, the over-population problem, urban sprawl, high-school violence, alienation, distrust of neighbors, delapidation of neighborhoods, the absence of security, the threat of a shrinking job market, the confiscation of property by government, the amazing new viruses leaked upon the world from government top-secret CIA labratories, the unending spiral of upwardly-mobilizing taxation, the demise of the family unit, the ridiculous peaks of over-legislations and frivolous lawsuits, the attitudes of your local cops who have been brainwashed by federalism and totalitarianism, the new waves of legislation coming forth from our legisatures, the fines, penalties, losses, criminal charges, oppressions on a hundred fronts which affront our daily lives, all these and so many many more. Go ahead, deny it all, and convince yourself in that denial that all is right with this nation today, and that surely to God no mere handful of Goddamned Bankers could have done this to us through social engineering, or that they would have any design or purpose in so doing. Sure. Deny it. Make fun of my dumb ass for sharing the insight with you. Laugh at me. Call me "delusional". Just don't bother to say that I never told you about what's coming down the pike of Socialism financed by a transmuted abortion of Capitalism, and do not accuse me of having remained silent as I watch the prophecies of George Orwell and Aldous Huxley fall upon us like some fine mist of a dark night in human history.)
 I am left with a message board, a keypad, a screen, and a will to live outside this wonderful system enacted and set in place by the GSBs. That is all I got. I cannot even afford the money to mail out packages containing writings, books, and films to people who WOULD take time to view or read them. Why? Because I refuse to have a credit card, a bank account, an insurance policy, and scores of other taken-for-granted blessings from the Corporate Dynasty. I live outside this system, off the grid, by my own preference toward freedom and liberty and personal sovereignty. That makes me weird to Mr. Espy, who would disavow my honorable service to this nation in the weirdest war in American history, and I'm not sure just what it causes "asunnyone" to think of me. Whatever anyone thinks of me is beside the point to me nowadays, for I cannot unsee what I've seen, nor unlearn what I've learned. So I come to message boards and mix into them my own flavoring of interpretation of current world- and national- events, and am met by agents of Statism who seek to desecrate the boards I frequent with their insane inanities and babbles and vomits of illogical State Worship. Fine. I cannot beat them, but I can speak my peace right alongside their strange and indifferent, insensitive, cold, inhuman garbage, knowing that I've done all I can do. They will tell me that all the flowers grow in gardens of submission to the greater good of mankind, that my ultimate peace lies in the acceptance of governmental brutality and offensiveness and oppression and in psychological and spiritual slavery to their precious State, to Government, to Economy, to Hegemony, to World Primacy by the Amerikan Corporate Dynasty.
 That is what E-spy wants me to see, and that is what assunyone uses as leverage against natural reason. Trash this place, you wonderful angels of destitution, you defilers and despots of the human soul. Do as you wish. Send me threatening emails, track my ass down and torment me. Call the cops on me. Do whatever you will, or can, or wish. Go ahead. Have your little fun in the sun. I already know your side has won, that the American public will follow your drumbeats into submission and slavery, into the demise of everything "individual" or "automonous" or "sovereign", for the American people in mass wish to be led. I see the truth. I understand. So have at it.
 But know ye this much: You'll have to kill my ass to shut me up, and as long as I've got a damned computer with Internet access, I shall not cease speaking out about what I see in today's world. Y'all got that? It's about time you did. I have a little willingness to go beyond my fear.
 Now about April 19. Whether or not I'm the only sombitch there, TMM is holding a public meeting in Belgrade, Montana, no April 19, 2003, in order to draw together some few remaining souls who understand about freedom of the individual in America's historic ideal. I am inviting any cop, any Federal Agent, any spy against the people, any Corporate Dynasty security personnel, and any State-worshipping Son of a Bitch who wants to come to show up and meet with me live, in the flesh, in person, face to face, to accept this invitation. I am a free sovereign human being living in the United States of America, and I bow to no authority. Come look into my eyes and see how fares your voice in my light.
 The meeting will be at the PrePaid Legal offices on Jackrabbit Road, Belgrade, Montana, just a long block south of the Interstate 90 interchange, on the East side of the road. You can recognize it by the business sign representing the co-sharer of the building, "Candle Factory". We will be upstairs on your right as you enter the front door. It will be at 3:00 p.m. I shall personally be speaking and presenting film clips from various films, and not a damned one of the films is government-friendly, I'll promise you that. There will be a moment of silence at this meeting, in honor of the dead Americans from Waco, Ruby Ridge, Oklahoma City, the WTC buildings, and the Pentagon building, all of which are provable government travesties and acts of terrorism wrought upon the fabric of American life by the great criminal conspiracy called these days the Federal Government of the United States of America. These facts will be reviewed and discussed publicly by myself and others present. Dissenting voices, if any have the guts to show up, will be respectfully heard and quickly rebutted, as Nature requires. Y'all got that? Espy, you want to fly out of Dulles once again? Asunnyone, you want to fly out of Nashville? Y'all come! I'd dearly love to meet with both of your Statist asses, face to face. And I'm sure that each of you would dearly love to encounter the Offline Divison of The Mental Militia in a personal way. Don't let me down, now, ya hear?
 "This ain't America any more when the ATF has that kind of power and [can] come to anybody's home and kick doors down..."  
~ David Koresh
 I found this list at Carol Moore's website. Here is the url:
 These are the people who died violently at the hands of the BATF, FBI, and the U.S. Army. These people were members of a church which had been peacefully in existence for over fifty years at Mt. Carmel, Waco, Texas. Manner of death: gunshots and fire. Let us never forget the innocent dead of Waco.
 Died February 28, 1993
 Winston Blake, 28, black, British
 Peter Gent, 24, white, Australian
 Peter Hipsman, 28, white, American
 Perry Jones, 64, white, American
 Michael Schroeder, 29, white, American
 Jaydean Wendell, 34, Hawaiian, American
 Died April 19, 1993
 Katherine Andrade, 24, white, American
 Chanel Andrade, 1, white, American
 Jennifer Andrade, 19, white, American
 George Bennett, 35, black, British
 Susan Benta, 31, black, British
 Mary Jean Borst, 49, white, American
 Pablo Cohen, 38, white, Israeli
 Abedowalo Davies, 30, black, British
 Shari Doyle, 18, white, American
 Beverly Elliot, 30, black, British
 Yvette Fagan, 32, black, British
 Doris Fagan, 51, black, British
 Lisa Marie Farris, 24, white, American
 Raymond Friesen, 76, white, Canadian
 Sandra Hardial, 27, black, British
 Zilla Henry, 55, black, British
 Vanessa Henry, 19, black, British
 Phillip Henry, 22, black, British
 Paulina Henry, 24, black, British
 Stephen Henry, 26, black, British
 Diana Henry, 28, black, British
 Novellette Hipsman, 36, black, Canadian
 Floyd Houtman, 61, black, American
 Sherri Jewell, 43, Asian, American
 David M. Jones, 38, white, American
 David Koresh, 33, white, American
 Rachel Koresh, 24, white, American
 Cyrus Koresh, 8, white, American
 Star Koresh, 6, white, American
 Bobbie Lane Koresh, 2, white, American
 Jeffery Little, 32, white, American
 Nicole Gent Little, 24, white, Australian
   and unborn child
 Dayland Gent, 3, white, American
 Page Gent, 1, white, American
 Livingston Malcolm, 26, black, British
 Diane Martin, 41, black, British
 Wayne Martin, Sr., 42, black, American
 Lisa Martin, 13, black, American
 Sheila Martin, Jr., 15, black, American
 Anita Martin, 18, black, American
 Wayne Martin, Jr., 20, black, American
 Julliete Martinez, 30, Mexican American
 Crystal Martinez, 3, Mexican American
 Isaiah Martinez, 4, Mexican American
 Joseph Martinez, 8, Mexican American
 Abigail Martinez, 11, Mexican American
 Audrey Martinez, 13, Mexican American
 John-Mark McBean, 27, black, British
 Bernadette Monbelly, 31, black, British
 Rosemary Morrison, 29, black, British
 Melissa Morrison, 6, black, British
 Sonia Murray, 29, black, American
 Theresa Nobrega, 48, black, British
 James Riddle, 32, white, American
 Rebecca Saipaia, 24, Asian, Phillipino
 Steve Schneider, 43, white, American
 Judy Schneider, 41, white, American
 Mayanah Schneider, 2, white, American
 Clifford Sellors, 33, white, British
 Scott Kojiro Sonobe, 35, Asian, American
 Floracita Sonobe, 34, Asian, Phillipino
 Gregory Summers, 28, white, American
 Aisha Gyrfas Summers, 17, white, Australian
    and unborn child
 Startle Summers, 1, white, American
 Lorraine Sylvia, 40, white, American
 Rachel Sylvia, 12, white, American
 Hollywood Sylvia, 1, white, American
 Michelle Jones Thibodeau, 18, white, American
 Serenity Jones, 4, white, American
 Chica Jones, 2, white, American
 Little One Jones, 2, white, American
 Neal Vaega, 38, Somoan, New Zealander
 Margarida Vaega, 47, Asian, New Zealander
 Mark H. Wendell, 40, Asian, American
« Last Edit: April 19, 2005, 03:41:07 pm by Elias Alias »
"Heirs to self-knowledge shed gently their fears..."


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April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2005, 02:22:46 pm »

I realize I'm a little late in the game, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say,

"Beautifully spoken."

Both times.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2005, 02:33:55 pm by Tin-Man »
...when it comes to mass murder the worst individual monster in the world is a gnat compared with even a relatively benign state.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2005, 12:18:27 am »

I realize I'm a little late in the game, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say,

"Beautifully spoken."

Both times.

And,  this:

And the painted ponies go 'round and 'round....

Is from one of my favorite tunes by one of my favorite artists.  :-)
Member of the toughest, meanest, deadliest, most unrelenting -- and ablest -- form of life in this section of space,  a critter that can be killed but can't be tamed.  --Robert A. Heinlein, "The Puppet Masters"
Information is more dangerous than cannon to a society ruled by lies. --James M Dakin


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Re: April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2007, 02:34:59 am »

Thanks again and salute mon generalĀ  :icon_pirat:

edited to add

The Times Up flag will be flying at the RagnarDanneskjold household on 4/19. Hmm, think I'll put it out today in honor of the 4/17 IRS assault on the homeland.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2007, 03:06:20 am by RagnarDanneskjold »
The Mayor is the Problem
The flagpole is the answer
We hung the first one
We can hang another one

The Firesign Theatre - from the album Boom Dot Bust

Dear Government
You are a ass shit.

A note from my younger son when he was 3.

When rights are outlawed, only outlaws will have rights. - Me

Round up everybody who can ride a horse or pull a trigger. Let's break out some Winchesters.  - John Wayne (Chisum)

Elias Alias

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Re: April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2007, 04:23:31 am »

Thanks again and salute mon general  :icon_pirat:

Wow, Ragnar; you had to do some deep digging to come up with that old rant. I just sat here and read it, and it took me back to previous steps up the mountain's trail, steps through emotions wanting a voice, steps made of feelings and stunned realizations. It's a bit embarrassing, to see myself hog up so much bandwidth using train-loads of words in a futile attempt to get something righteous said, and then to re-read it all a few years later and finally have to say, "nice try, Elias, but when will you learn how to compose your danged thoughts for human consumption, eh?" Or something like that..

Recently Thunder put a piece of light on Claire's blog; something about deciding to live liberty instead of deciding to hate the state. I've been doing a lot of thought about that concept, the metaphysics of it, the power intrinsic to it. I never want to forget April 19 and the long line of years in which April 19 reclaimed an old hold on mystery. In my rant above I left out the April 19 of Lexington, and there are others which escape me at this moment. It is quite a date, to be sure. Yet I hope that I never lose sight of the miracle of life, the beauty and glory and majesty which surround me on every hand. Can I make a kitten purr? Can I wave at a neighbor across the ranch fence? Can I smile at a stranger as we pass on the sidewalk in front of stores in the city of Man? Hold hands with a woman down by the river's wooded bend? Can I learn to love myself, and then spill that love outside myself into a world gone mad, wondering if my love may go to waste on gritty curb-side gutter drains where the indifferent steps of mankind kick it aside in their rush to get ahead? Can I do that again and again every day, and know why I want to do it, and not expect anyone to pick it up or return it to me, and to bless those who do and forgive those who don't? Can I go on as if the Good Grey Usher shall not seat me just yet, not today anyway, and as if I am free to live and love and look into a child's eye and see an old death awaiting a new beginning.... Heck, Ragnar, I don't know. I don't know why I think I have to write my brains out on message boards, or why I might hope anyone, someone, everyone would read my puny run-together words and know how to heal me. But I do know there is the friendship and the family and the faith in human goodness after all, and a brotherhood you and I share with many righteous souls, and perhaps as I continue to age in this backwash of societal demise and manifesting chaos I can finally learn that, as was said of old, "a wise man has his yes, and he has his no."

The child is after all father to the man - and if I just knew how to shut off my mind and stop this never-ending stream of words, this river of symbol, sign, sooth, signet and song in which I drown daily on a raft made of books, I'd gladly do it and let this text box get some peace and silence....

That's it! No shit! I quit! April 19 is coming 'round again!
"Heirs to self-knowledge shed gently their fears..."


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Re: April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2007, 10:58:38 am »

I try to remember it all the time. Some things need to be in the fore front to keep you on track. This might also explain part of my name.  :rolleyes:
"Shepard Booke use to tell me," If you can't do something smart then do something right" "Jayne Cobb.

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Re: April 19 And Some Years
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2007, 12:06:18 pm »


Copied to my docs.
"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge.

Don't push me, and I won't push you."
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