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Author Topic: MamaLiberty's new story  (Read 62525 times)

MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #150 on: December 20, 2010, 02:23:56 pm »

Update... Final edit of the first book is in the can and I have a publisher. Just working out the details. Not sure I want to do all that, but we'll see.

Excerpts from what he sent to me:

"Our mission now is to reach non-gun owners. I will coach for free anyone of
good faith and freedom interest to get the word outside the liberty
community and to gain ever-increasing acceptance of second amendment values.

We have a long way to go, what with an international treaty looming and
other forces about ready to negate our recent court wins.

We need to win in the realm of public opinion and gain greater prominence in
libertarian, conservative and independent adults as well as Congress.

Talkradio appearances would not be for the purpose of selling a novel, but
for educating the listeners and breaking out of the gravitational pull of
the liberty community.

Speaking circuit would do the same. (You could also make some bucks in
speaking fees.)

I always urge writers to aim their content not at each other where they find
an automatic readership, but accept the challenge of writing for non-gun
owners for the purpose of involving them in their own self-rule.

 I work outside the
liberty community every chance I get. <snip> If I index the headline right, I'll get picked up by mainstream
websites. A lot of gunnies have a built-in audience and readership, but when
we preach to the choir (and sell books to each other) we accomplish little.]

<snip>The idea is to
go mainstream even though you have super connections among colleagues.

We need you every place BUT the liberty community... "

What do you think?
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Docliberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #151 on: December 20, 2010, 05:51:17 pm »

He's right.
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Doc

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."  Marion Morrison

"I do not fear my government.  I fear what my government will cause me to become."   Docliberty

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." H. L. Mencken

MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #152 on: December 21, 2010, 07:38:24 am »

We'll see. Sounds like more than a full time job to me. :)
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iloilo

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #153 on: December 21, 2010, 09:03:39 am »

Well, heck, I am just excited to be able to get the book!
Please keep us updated on all progress toward the day we can hold it in our hands!
Wonderful!
ff
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MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #154 on: December 21, 2010, 09:14:43 am »

Well, heck, I am just excited to be able to get the book!
Please keep us updated on all progress toward the day we can hold it in our hands!
Wonderful!
ff

Well, the dead tree version may be a year away, but I've got an idea. :) My publisher wants me to get at least 6 or 7 people to read the book and send me a review that could be used on the jacket/cover and for publicity.

I'd love to send the pdf of the book to you. Just let me know.

Starting chapter 5 of the sequel today. This one isn't going anywhere nearly as fast as the first one, but it seems to have  more depth of liberty education content. We'll see. I'm going to work hard to keep it an entertaining story instead of just a rant or scold on libertarianism.
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Docliberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #155 on: December 21, 2010, 09:34:10 am »

ME Too?
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Doc

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."  Marion Morrison

"I do not fear my government.  I fear what my government will cause me to become."   Docliberty

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." H. L. Mencken

MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #156 on: December 21, 2010, 09:38:59 am »

ME Too?

You bet. Send a PM with the email address you'd like it delivered to. :)
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iloilo

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #157 on: December 21, 2010, 09:57:28 am »

ML, I'd be honored.
And,  it will just in time for the holidays, to give me a good reason to sit around and read for a few minutes each day!  Woo Hoo!
If you send a pdf, may I print it out and make any notes in the margins for you, beyond writing a review?

Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. :laugh:   A new book to read!
ff
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MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #158 on: December 21, 2010, 10:20:51 am »

ML, I'd be honored.
And,  it will just in time for the holidays, to give me a good reason to sit around and read for a few minutes each day!  Woo Hoo!
If you send a pdf, may I print it out and make any notes in the margins for you, beyond writing a review?

Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. :laugh:   A new book to read!
ff

Absolutely! You have several email addresses, I know. Send a PM with the one you want me to use and I'll shoot that out to you today. About to leave here for a sudden trip to the city with friends, but I'll be back early. Supposed to snow again tomorrow, and we don't go out on the road then. :)

Anyone else want to write a review for me? Send a PM with an email and I'll get it to you.
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Moonbeam

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #159 on: March 04, 2011, 04:46:06 pm »

Holy Schnikes! I cannot believe I didn’t read this until yesterday! Can I just say: r   i   v   e   t   i   n   g…

There were a couple of sentences that really jumped out at me:

* Page 1: “Like hyaenas, the bandits had destroyed more than they used.”

I thought this summed it up succinctly how almost everyone knows someone like this…

* I knew as soon as Jeff went to help Maria out of the backseat that they would end up together! Not because your writing is necessarily predictable, but because that's what I was really hoping for – and you made it happen (I love it when authors do that!) *big, cheesy grin*

* Page 6: "Jake sat down heavily and clapped the hat to his head until he remembered he was indoors and took it off again."

Though this was a simple sentence, it just reminded me of an honest man doing something courteous in the midst of harsh times…

* Page (?): "The 20th century tyranny had not been able to kill the old pioneer blood after all."

Triumph!

* Page 7: "The entire place stank of blood, burned cloth and wool - and increasingly - the ugly smells of careless, dirty human beings."

Such a visual without having to go into great (or horrific detail)…

* Page 8: [George is speaking] "Unfortunately, the good citizens were not as well armed or trained, so even as they thinned the ranks of the soldiers and goblins, the carnage was incredible. I heard tales that many of the police and sheriff's officers did all they could and took very heavy losses, but if the ordinary people had not been so well armed none might have survived. I'm sure it will be no surprise to learn that more people died in the cities and places where guns were not commonly kept. I hope that's a lesson we never lose."

I thought this was a good summary for the “unprepared” without being too preachy…

* Page 9: The tired horse that had been his salvation trotted wearily behind them, no doubt thinking horsy thoughts of his own warm stall.

Aw, I just like the idea of “horsy thoughts!”

* I loved that Bill was rewarded for his humbleness! A wonderful wife and being on the ranch council. And Linda having twins tickled me, of course!! (Yes, I realize it wasn’t for my benefit!)

The Pioneer Spirit reminded me of the Little House series. I hope you aren’t offended by that. I am positively fond of that reading experience. I loved reading about how they did things, and the moments that challenged them. I also love that in the midst if despair and heartache there was love and generosity. So I compare your story in that regard…

I hope you do not think I am being critical, however, there were a few things I wanted to inquire about.

* On Page 5: “Cathy, having had two children before was calm and stoic.” [Giving birth to Hope]

I had assumed that this was her fourth delivery? She already had two boys, and one girl who died?

* On Page 7: Maria’s niece was referred to as both Angela and Angel. I’m sure your editing caught this along with Bert and Burt being interchanged…

* I may have missed it so please forgive me… I wanted to see Mutt have a good wife :)

* I wonder if you would consider bumping the age from 30 to 35 (might even be able to get away with 40) when Betty is reflecting on not having children? It has been my experience that 35 is the arbitrary (but oh so Magical!) age the medical community uses for high-risk pregnancies. Since this story is set in “modern times” and a lot more women are waiting to marry and have children, 30 might seem a throw back to yesteryear, KWIM?

* It might be too tedious - or boring for some, but I would like to know more details on things (a reflection of me not you). For example, how did they store the meat they hunted? Did they build latrines? If this is to be a story to educate the ignorant, such as I, or awaken the brain then it might be useful information...

* Being a girl (really!) I tend to want the “girly” details - sometimes agonizingly so (or to the agony of others!). I'm curious about the cabins and mobile homes and soddies. And the main kitchen - how was it set up and/or operated? Maybe there could be a brief conversation among some of the women as they take a break from their KP or while they work that provides more insight. I am glad you touched on some details for Betty's new place :)

* Will there be more to the prologue? Like what made them turn Roger's ranch into a gulch in the first place? And how did the original group form? What kind of things did they do to prepare? If this novel is to reach the “unprepared” it sounds like Cathy’s pre-crash life might be relatable to many women…

* I also wanted some of the more suspenseful scenes drawn out. For example, I really wanted some nail-biting moments when Bert and John were on their mission. I was expecting (my imagination – not a reflection on you!) them to almost run into personnel in the secret lair…

I realize that writing can be like filling a jar with rocks; then you go back and fill it with gravel; and finally some sand. So I hope you aren’t exasperated with me! I stayed up until the wee hours finishing what you posted. And I have been thinking about the characters wanting to know more about them and what they are doing. Great story-telling, Mama!!
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #160 on: March 04, 2011, 05:31:54 pm »

What wonderful feedback!!! I've been hoping and HOPING that someone would tell me these things. Bless you. I'm delighted with all the ideas and, it so happens, I'm starting a whole rewrite this week. What is posted here was simply the first draft, and a lot has been added since. I've had some other feedback and it's all been helpful, but this is the best yet. :)

But no, this book wasn't intended to preach, or to be a How To guide for gulching, though that is unavoidably part of the story. There are so many thousands of different possibilities that any one "guide" either has to be terribly incomplete or the size of a phone book. And I'm not qualified to write such a guideline anyway, but I will certainly expand on it some, since I'm sure others will be curious.

This book hopes to explore a few of the many, many potential ways that voluntary groups of people might work together to build new and free communities, and more in the second book, about how these communities might work together in spite of their differences, in peace - with prosperity for all as they fulfill, finally, the promise of freedom that we accept as the birthright of America.

I'm typing as fast as I can... :)

Thank you so much!  :love4: :love4: :love4:
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Moonbeam

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #161 on: March 05, 2011, 04:11:05 pm »

[Where's the "blushing" smiley?] Aw, shucks ML  :rolleyes: you are welcome!

You are The Ghost is creating a story that is pulling me in so I've become vested in their world.

* I agree that the story could easily become bogged down with minute details. I think there is room to devote a few paragraphs to the some of the main (and even passing) characters. This could easily be achieved by sharing what they are thinking or the conversations they have or the memories that are sparked in them. Maybe for somone's birthday or Christmas "celebration" they receive a homemade gift that is intimate or provokes bittersweet memories. Even some of the "minor" characters really intrigued me: Luke, the trader who took over the East Valley area, John and Bert. I would love to know more about Charlie & Cathy, and Betty and Mutt's pre-crash life...

* Please forgive me if it was mentioned: I've noticed in some fictional TSHTF writing, that places east of the Mississippi River are not mentioned or included as places that are re-built. I personally believe that there would be communites in the Mid-West and the South for example. And while these are not necessarily places that need attention, perhaps mentioning one of those states having a ham radio connection would be a nice thought. Of course, I am not privy to The Ghost's vision, and will value their creation :)

* The other thing that I like about your story is that it's not a story that makes me feel helpless or want to bury my head in the sand. It looks like it would be a great introduction for those who need to be reached, too (like my DH)...

Whatever The Ghost wants, The Ghost gets, m'kay?! We want The Ghost to have great success!!!

Okay, I think I'm done with my  :twocents:
« Last Edit: March 05, 2011, 05:56:34 pm by Moonbeam »
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

MamaLiberty

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #162 on: March 06, 2011, 06:31:53 am »

Thanks again, dear. Remember that this is a story centered on some Wyoming folks, so most of the rest of the country won't be involved too much, but remember that the second half will deal with various communities and, eventually, regional cooperatives, working together to rebuild and prosper -  so the east coast will come into the story at least some. They are already having some interesting new challenges, and even some "global cooling" issues. It's not all roses for our sturdy survivors, by any means. :)
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Moonbeam

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #163 on: March 07, 2011, 09:25:50 am »

Thanks again, dear. Remember that this is a story centered on some Wyoming folks, so most of the rest of the country won't be involved too much

Yes, I understood that :) Look forward to their adventures!
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

DPR 2006

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Re: MamaLiberty's new story
« Reply #164 on: April 04, 2011, 03:51:39 am »

Congrats to you, MamaLiberty!  I've finished my book as well, and my brother-in-law is fielding it out to a publisher friend of his.  My brother-in-law is reading it now, and says that he likes what I've done.

Here's hoping that it all turns out profitable for us, not just monetarily.

Edit in:  I'm already working on a sequel AND a spin-off!
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