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Author Topic: For want of romance...  (Read 6376 times)

gaurdduck

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For want of romance...
« on: June 20, 2012, 11:17:19 am »

Reason for Being Single:
I was publicly dumped by my fiance and paternally disowned on the day before that. I'm broke and staying with my mother. My savings were completely spent trying to cultivate a good relationship with my father, who maintains that he'll always love me but never accept me. ...All because I'm Openly Transgendered.

Plans and Education:
I'm going to get an apartment in town near the college which I plan to attend in November. I have a home business making and selling jewelry and ceramic arts.

I have a GED, Tech Certificate in Horticulture, and will be attending college at a culinary school in November. I speak 10 languages total, but 4 fluently. I plan to go to a second culinary school after the first. That one will be abroad, possibly in the Philippines or Japan. I haven't decided yet, but I love Asian Food!

Sex and Gender:
I'm a transsexual woman who is mostly interested in other women, but open to the idea of dating other genders. I'm still in the process of transitioning, but will look completely fem in a year or so. Because I'm only 23, I won't look masculine at all. ^__^

Interests:
I'm an artist and like discussing food, philosophy, culture, anthropology, history, and art (of course).

I like long walks on sandy beaches.... (Too cliché?)



If you're interested, pm me.
« Last Edit: June 20, 2012, 11:20:46 am by Yuki »
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MamaLiberty

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2012, 11:32:39 am »

I'm sorry, Yuki. I just have a feeling you're going to have trouble with romance until you are established in your life and your "being." As long as you are in transition, it will probably be hard to find compatible souls. But I hope you can. I'm happy being alone, but not everyone finds it as freeing as I do.
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gaurdduck

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2012, 01:42:29 pm »

Thanks ML...
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Bear

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2012, 01:54:27 pm »

Yuki,

I can't offer any advice on your personal life, as it's beyond my experience,
but I can make a suggestion about the rest -- If I had your back ground with
languages and tastes in food, I would SERIOUSLY consider a job in import/export.

The cities that come time mind on the West Coast - Seattle, San Francisco/Oakland,
Los Angeles/Long Beach, are the hubs for trade and are ethnically diverse, and also
more cosmopolitan lifestyle and cuisine. Go for it!

If you can pick up some basic business courses and anything related to international
trade this fall, please do so. It can only help you.

Best of luck,

Bear
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securitysix

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2012, 03:45:12 pm »

I'm sorry, Yuki. I just have a feeling you're going to have trouble with romance until you are established in your life and your "being." As long as you are in transition, it will probably be hard to find compatible souls. But I hope you can. I'm happy being alone, but not everyone finds it as freeing as I do.

I hate to say it, but ML is right.  You may know who you are, but while you're in transition, who you are isn't who you are.

Part of who we are is the us that we present to the world.  Until what you present to the world is the same (not identical, but similar, cause let's face it, what we let people see and what we actually feel are very rarely identical, but they're often close enough to pass) as what you feel inside, people will always perceive that you aren't who you say you are.

Also, Bear gives some good advice.  While you may not want to live on the west coast, and especially in the cities Bear listed, you are much more likely to be accepted for who you are in those cities, as the cultures in those cities are more open minded to your particular breed of different (and we are all different, but that doesn't mean we can't find people who are different in the same way we are).

....Reading that back, it kind of sounds like an awfully insensitive way to agree with ML and Bear.  It's not meant to be, but I can't think of a better way to word it.
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socalserf

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2012, 07:01:55 am »

The cities that come time mind on the West Coast - Seattle, San Francisco/Oakland,
Los Angeles/Long Beach, are the hubs for trade and are ethnically diverse, and also
more cosmopolitan lifestyle and cuisine. Go for it!


Great advice.
There are few places your life won't be made miserable as a G/L/T.
The above mentioned cities are a good bet for jobs, education, and acceptance.
Go West young'un.(if only for the food)

Best to you, Yuki
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gaurdduck

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2012, 11:08:11 am »

The cities that come time mind on the West Coast - Seattle, San Francisco/Oakland,
Los Angeles/Long Beach, are the hubs for trade and are ethnically diverse, and also
more cosmopolitan lifestyle and cuisine. Go for it!


Great advice.
There are few places your life won't be made miserable as a G/L/T.
The above mentioned cities are a good bet for jobs, education, and acceptance.
Go West young'un.(if only for the food)

Best to you, Yuki

*facepalm*

I was just out there and came back east.... I lived in Reedley CA for 2 months.
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casca-503

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2012, 10:18:55 pm »

    YUKI,  i have no special  advise...be well..be yourself...hope  you   are able to  work things  out  with  your father...my father  died   about 15 years ago...we  still had  things to work out...  /   i hope  i'm  doing  reasonable  job  with  my    kids...  40 y.o. /  33 y.o.  /   and  31 y.o. ///  if  you want to talk...p.m. me...
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socalserf

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2012, 01:03:36 am »

Reedly, in the heart of the very conservative San Joaquin Valley ain't no Long Beach, nor West Hollywood, nor SF.
But, you knew that.
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amagi

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2012, 01:40:33 pm »

Consider Minneapolis.  A very open city.  Also liberal. Alas.  But there is a huge LGBT community here.

I don't agree that being in transition to medically female makes you less of who you are.  It is a medical process that takes time. One of my best friends transitioned last year at 45.  She was not fully who she was until she made the decision. After that it was just tinkering with the body.  And she found love too.  After the decision, before the surgery.  She is also a libertarian and brilliant, like you.

You are on a difficult path.  Walk it with grace and courage.

In my experience, people with confidence and kindness are accepted and respected.  People without those things are not, but they blame their difference for that lack.  It isn't being different that is the problem. (though there will always be bullies)
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gaurdduck

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2012, 08:43:21 am »

My girlfriend and I are back together...

====

Thank you Amagi.

====

Yup Serf, I actually had an argument with my paternal grandparents about the sanctity of marriage. They were claiming that all homosexuals were bad people who wanted to make humans extinct by destroying marriage and making it so hetero folks couldn't mate. I was like, 'You people are joking right? Please tell me you're joking.' Then they said that getting married was only to have children. Then they said maybe if they just ignore gays they will go extinct. (every gay was born from a straight couple, so that won't work... duh) I asked them if they only got married to have sex. They were silent as the dead for a full 15 minutes and seemed too angry for words. To break the silence, I asked grandma if grandpa was afflicted with a strange disease that made him into a woman, if she would rather stop loving him or become a de-facto lesbian. She dismissed it as impossible and refused to answer the hypothetical because logically, she would have chosen to become a lesbian and proved my point of marriage being a logical conclusion to love, not just a sexual partnership to make more humans.

(edited to fix a typo)
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MamaLiberty

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2012, 01:10:22 pm »

Just go slowly and be sure of what you want, and what she expects...  Measure twice, cut once... :)
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socalserf

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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #12 on: July 02, 2012, 11:44:05 pm »

My girlfriend and I are back together...

====

Thank you Amagi.

====

Yup Serf, I actually had an argument with my paternal grandparents about the sanctity of marriage. They were claiming that all homosexuals were bad people who wanted to make humans extinct by destroying marriage and making it so hetero folks couldn't mate. I was like, 'You people are joking right? Please tell me you're joking.' Then they said that getting married was only to have children. Then they said maybe if they just ignore gays they will go extinct. (every gay was born from a straight couple, so that won't work... duh) I asked them if they only got married to have sex. They were silent as the dead for a full 15 minutes and seemed too angry for words. To break the silence, I asked grandma if grandpa was afflicted with a strange disease that made him into a woman, if she would rather stop loving him or become a de-facto lesbian. She dismissed it as impossible and refused to answer the hypothetical because logically, she would have chosen to become a lesbian and proved my point of marriage being a logical conclusion to love, not just a sexual partnership to make more humans.

(edited to fix a typo)

You know your truth.
Arguing with toxic people won't help you or change them.
Even if you love them dearly.


You are on a difficult path.  Walk it with grace and courage.
 

That's Beautiflul Amagi. :thumbsup:
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Re: For want of romance...
« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2013, 01:32:41 pm »

My girlfriend and I are back together...

====

Thank you Amagi.

====

Yup Serf, I actually had an argument with my paternal grandparents about the sanctity of marriage. They were claiming that all homosexuals were bad people who wanted to make humans extinct by destroying marriage and making it so hetero folks couldn't mate. I was like, 'You people are joking right? Please tell me you're joking.' Then they said that getting married was only to have children. Then they said maybe if they just ignore gays they will go extinct. (every gay was born from a straight couple, so that won't work... duh) I asked them if they only got married to have sex. They were silent as the dead for a full 15 minutes and seemed too angry for words. To break the silence, I asked grandma if grandpa was afflicted with a strange disease that made him into a woman, if she would rather stop loving him or become a de-facto lesbian. She dismissed it as impossible and refused to answer the hypothetical because logically, she would have chosen to become a lesbian and proved my point of marriage being a logical conclusion to love, not just a sexual partnership to make more humans.

(edited to fix a typo)

Okay, here's my pre christmas advice.  First off, marriage was originally a religious way of controlling who mated with whom, and keeping them fairly clean of disease (possibly as a means of control.)  Today, marriage is still a religious ceremony but the actual God presiding over the contract has changed, now it is a secularly religious act of worshiping the State.  Unfortunately, most people worship the state at a deeply psychological level, and just accepting a union between two people who do not intend to break up is rare.  Often marriage is just "paying lip service" to yours or the other individual's family's taboos and fixed ideas (must be married or living in sin, even though many "life mate" relationships I've known were in their 30th or later year and many "marriages" I've known my old schoolmates to engage in, lasted a year or less... resulted in damaged kids, etc.

People marry for different reasons, to be sure, some marry for love, some marry just because they can't keep ye olde hormones under control, and others do it because they're too weak to say "I'll go to church if its uplifting, but don't fsck'n force me to get permission to marry you from those fucks at the government... if you want their approval so badly, expect me to leave NOW."  In reality for a LOT of people, love is what they call the original hormonal attraction, even though LOVE is actually that deep friendship that develops even with people you will never have sex with.  I know a beautiful 47 year old woman.  I know her kids.  I occasionally hire them for side jobs.  I'd love to offer them full time jobs, but I don't have enough work.  She is extremely attractive to me, and I also know I will never marry her nor have sex with her.  In reality, I actually care deeply for her and consider her to be on her way to my friends list... the shorter one. :)  But I will never put her on my "mate" list.  So think on that for a bit.

So I actually think that "marriage" is NOT something you do because you love someone, but a financial arrangement that has a lot more to do with government extension of "privileges and benefits" to a couple seeking to enter into a financial security agreement that also involves sex, and is recognized by the government and thus is a protected class.  Most of my Christian friends will probably strike me off their friends list if they heard what I have to say, but I hold that modern marriage is nothing but that.  And the price of those "protected class" agreements is the selling of the products of those unions into slavery as government serfs.  So you really don't want to hear my full views on government sanctioned marriages.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 01:34:45 pm by Destin Faruda »
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