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[Moonbeam]

Our 7 kids range in age between 9 months and 23 years.

I got tired just reading that sentence...

I think a few of my brain cells just withered and died so now I need a nap! 

[MamaLiberty]

I think a few of my brain cells just withered and died so now I need a nap! 

My first husband once worked for a man who had a large family. He and his wife had nine boys, from about 18 months to 22 years old.  They had a happy, healthy family, and the boys pretty much took care of each other and the baby. The two oldest ones had outside jobs. Bud ran the business and brought home the bacon. Edna did the cooking, laundry and so forth. Busy people, and delightful friends.  I don't remember ever hearing an angry word, a raised voice (except for the roar of laughter), or saw a child in tears. We were not there often, so I don't know what went on otherwise, but I've always thought that family was a miracle.

My two boys were quite sufficient, believe me.   I wish I had known then the secret of that miracle for their sake.

[DiabloLoco]

I think a few of my brain cells just withered and died so now I need a nap! 

My first husband once worked for a man who had a large family. He and his wife had nine boys, from about 18 months to 22 years old.  They had a happy, healthy family, and the boys pretty much took care of each other and the baby. The two oldest ones had outside jobs. Bud ran the business and brought home the bacon. Edna did the cooking, laundry and so forth. Busy people, and delightful friends.  I don't remember ever hearing an angry word, a raised voice (except for the roar of laughter), or saw a child in tears. We were not there often, so I don't know what went on otherwise, but I've always thought that family was a miracle.

My two boys were quite sufficient, believe me.   I wish I had known then the secret of that miracle for their sake.

My SHW and I decided to stop at 2 minions. We both agreed that we could provide a better quality life for 2 rather than 3 or 4 or more. I want to be able to afford to buy them their first car, college, wedding...etc...etc... without relying of government help to do so. Also, our attention is not stretched as thin. More money can be set aside for retirement as well. To each their own, but that's what we personally decided.

[MamaLiberty]

I want to be able to afford to buy them their first car, college, wedding...etc...etc... without relying of government help to do so. Also, our attention is not stretched as thin. More money can be set aside for retirement as well. To each their own, but that's what we personally decided.

Actually, they had tried 8 times for a little girl.   But this was in early 1960, a whole different world. And they had no illusions about providing their children with college or cars. They gave them all the love they had... and it was up to the boys to make their own way, wherever that led them. As far as I know, they all did well and at least three of them graduated from college when it still meant something.

Sadly, Bud never got to retire. He had a heart attack at work one day and was gone. Edna's retirement was set in solid gold, actually. Do you think any of those boys would allow her to be in want?

But yes... each to his/her own.

[Moonbeam]

Here I thought I was a rare bird! At least at this point, I have no intention of paying for any higher education or any weddings or any cars. Not to say I won't help in some capacity, but they definitely will need to take on such obligations themselves.

Thanks for sharing the story, ML. I know of two families who tried 5 times for a boy. We always felt so incredibly blessed to have boy/girl twins. When Monkey Wrench came along, we felt our cup overflowing. Little Man does complete our family. [*insert sugary sweet music here*]

[DiabloLoco]

Here I thought I was a rare bird! At least at this point, I have no intention of paying for any higher education or any weddings or any cars. Not to say I won't help in some capacity, but they definitely will need to take on such obligations themselves.

Thanks for sharing the story, ML. I know of two families who tried 5 times for a boy. We always felt so incredibly blessed to have boy/girl twins. When Monkey Wrench came along, we felt our cup overflowing. Little Man does complete our family. [*insert sugary sweet music here*]

I will say this- If I had not had 1 of each sex, who knows? I may have had 4 by now! I had the girl first, and once I had my boy, I knew that I was done having kids.

[sharp_shepherd]

We don't pay for cars, college or weddings either.
None are married, engaged or have kids.
My oldest is a welder who paid his own way.  No student loan debt.
The 2nd was I college and working in banking was promoted and asked to give up college for a promotion.  He was laid off last month and is now working a govt contract healthcare call center.
The 3rd is getting ready for her 3rd year in college studying abnormal psychology with partial scholarship and student loans.
The 4th just graduated and has a full ride scholarship and is going for nursing. 
The 2nd, 3rd and 4th graduated high school with associate degrees.

I'm not bragging just saying that I did enough clucking to warrant some motivation.

I'm worried about my 16 year old.  She will be a junior next year in high school and doesn't seem like the college type.  She's an artsy fartsy type who helps me in the summer in my business.  She's easily distracted and isn't a particularly hard worker.  I've clucked at her so much I'm sick of it.
My 3year old is truly rare in her intelligence and whit.  I haven't ever enjoyed being a dad as much as I do now.  Most likely cause I'm older and no longer have the urge to hang out with just the guys.  All of my friends are the husbands of my wife's friends and they all have lots of kids as well.

I think the more positive attention you can give to your kids the better they will be.  Which should be a no brainer right?  I think that includes holding them a lot early and often.

[securitysix]

I'm worried about my 16 year old.  She will be a junior next year in high school and doesn't seem like the college type.  She's an artsy fartsy type who helps me in the summer in my business.  She's easily distracted and isn't a particularly hard worker.  I've clucked at her so much I'm sick of it.

I don't know what they have in the way of them in your area, but in Oklahoma, we have Vocational/Technical schools (referred to as Vo-Tech) pretty much all over.  Oklahoma high school students can attend Vo-Tech for "free" (taxpayer funded) during their Junior and Senior years of high school.  You might see if she'd be interested in that.  Also, see if you can find a way to get her to take an aptitude test to find out what she would be well suited for.  College might not be her thing (it's not for everybody, after all), but an aptitude test could help her set her path.

[Rarick]

Motivation, it is hard to find when so many of the basics in life can be taken for granted.  My parents alway ensured I had clothes, but if I wanted the fashionable stuff instead of the utility stuff I had to find a way to pay the difference.  Food, we grew it for a serious chunk of my life, the supermarkets in the city when we moved south were kind of new.  I was surprised at how much useless stuff was available in them.......  My parents had the basics for me when I did my chores, anything beyond that and I had to figure out a way to make it happen........  If I failed to do a chore the lack of basics usually fit the crime.......

I still do not do well figuring motivations for most of the city bred types, they are just so disconnected.

[sharp_shepherd]

I'm looking forward to her vocational testing this year.  I hope we find out what makes her tick. 

[Lonewolf72]

I'm looking forward to her vocational testing this year.  I hope we find out what makes her tick.

I'm 42 yrs. old and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  Mostly just do some odd jobs and raise a decent garden. When you look at the money that gets taken from you, why would a person want to work a regular job? Especially if you are young and idealistic? Nor am I going to say that college is a complete waste, but for most young people what does it offer besides student loan bills? I know a few young people that have went to college, and all of the ones I know are flipping burgers (or the equivalent) because they are unable to find a job using their college "education." In such cases, what was the point of it?

I'm not trying to discourage you or her, but more and more it appears to me that most college is a waste of time and money. Even vo-techs can be questionable.

Hope it all works out for all of you in the end.

[Rarick]

Mike Rowe made an interesting point with his dirty jobs series.  None of them are glamorous, but they pay enough to cover the basics with a little bit more to set aside or spend on some of the wants.......  A lot of those are more about being willing the play in the dirt......

[sharp_shepherd]

I think JWR said the 3 D's are the jobs that pay...Dirty, Dangerous and I forgot the 3rd but if you do what others can't or won't then you can really get paid.

[Rarick]

Dull