<whispered>
Well, you won't know unless you ask now will you? Go ahead and ask , the worst thing that can happen is he says "no", I mean I doubt he will shoot you or anything. If he does shoot you, try to fall on the hardwood floor - that is a new throw rug and all...I heard the shuffled steps come my way, peering over the book I was reading, I noticed neon green fuzzy slippers with eyes that moved, moving my eyes upward, I noticed knobby knees, one sporting a cartoon bandaid, the other a bruise. Just above the knees was the bottom of a T-shirt, my eyes slowly raising I read past the mustard stain and read " Put something hard and vibrating between your legs", continuing to raise my eyes I noticed she had a piece of corndog in her smiling teeth , accented by a busted lip. The eyes were soulful blue, the dirty blond hair was mussed, and one tuft of hair in particular...
<blows tuft of hair away>
HiIhavetwoticketstotheplayandneedadateandyouareit.I had just been asked out by a Seven year-old, I think. This was confirmed after the seven-year old wearing a Harley T shirt looked back toward her mom and asked "Was that Okay?"
To which the mom [laughing, but not too hard] replied - "You might consider trying it again, a bit slower this time".
Hi, I have two tickets to the play I really really want to see. Since Mommy can't go, would you please, please, please be my date?Now honestly, how can a guy turn down a date proposal such as that?
"I don't have any frog slippers to wear" - I replied.
<giggling>
You would look funny in frog slippers...Mom - do they have bigger slippers like mine?Tip: do not try to outwit a seven year-old - you will lose.
Classmate , single mom raising a 'darling daughter', the kind of kid that goes into the Grocery Store wearing a "Nuke Berkley" T -shirt...well some folks might object, then again having a child attired as such does get folks to steer clear and one can find a empty check out lane. Then again mom didn't think to check to see if the kid was wearing shorts underneath - kid was not.
The tickets had been bought in advance, of course there was no way to know Mom would have an emergency appendectomy. Coming home from hosptial just days before the play was to be performed. Mom and I were taking the same classes, since all of our assignments , quizzes and exams were conducted online - I was just sharing the lecture via micro cassette tapes , and my lecture notes.
Live theatre I enjoy. So I hated the fact the mom and daughter could not enjoy this quality time together, still the kid needed to be a kid.
I got money Kid runs to her room <strange noises coming from kid's room> runs back
See? Twenty- seven dollars , change, some .22 brass, some .22 cartridges, hair-pin, Lifesavers, lint, P38 can-opener...
I have a new blue oxford shirt...The date:
I opened the truck door for the young lady dressed in kahkis, blue oxford shirt, cordovan penny loafers with a tuft of hair in the way...
We looked like twinkies, of course I kinda knew this was gonna happen, after about the umpteeth time being told about her new blue oxford shirt and being asked if my blue oxford shirt , kahkis, were clean and how cordovan shoe polish being rubbed into the kitchen table makes the wood look good. Mom always made her use newspapers to protect the table, then again when mom is asleep, using newspapers does not come to a child's mind.
Seems my date figured eating before the play was best, Mexican food with cheese dip is what you are supposed to have before
The Swiss Family Robinson. I thought it was cheeseburgers, at least that is what my nephew said some years earlier when I took him to see the same play at the time. Must be a gender dealie. Being a guy and all, what do I know about the proper food for what play?
Two adult Satillo plates, large cheese and extra hot sauce. Punch sucks, so my date suggested and ordered for us both iced tea....with lemon, don't forget the lemon
please Yeah well you know what they say, women can eat if they want to...
We arrive early to the Art Center, we peruse the galleries.
Must of been some good drugs...looks like a trash bag with a stick trying to poke out I had to agree with my date the "Art Crtique".
I like the pretty colors on that one, see the way that does that...that is called lighting, and that part is called shadingOkay, where did my seven-year old date go?
Oh cool! I like Pi...Pica..."Picasso"
Yeah I like Picasso's "stuff", these here are not 'charcoals', they call them Sketch's - he did them with a pencilMy date became fixated. We were looking a Rodin's
Gates of Hell Okay a really neat copy of it anyway. I pointed out the
Thinker, she was totally in awe of the 'sketches' the individual pieces, pictures of sculptures...
That is really really cool! I haven't got to that part in mom's Art book thingy yet I guess...I am centered enough to not care one whit if my date buys me dinner, or hands the lady ticket taker the tickets. I can be "pulled' down a aisle to "our bestest seats". I mean this is stiil considered holding hands - right?
My date giggled, grinned, jumped at the sound of gun shots, jumped back into her seat with the waving of swords, pouted her lip , laughed, yelled, screamed in fright, and basically had a great time "participating" with all the rest of the kids in the Theatre...no matter how old all "we" kids in the Theatre may have been.
One always thinks about the end of the evening, how is this date going to end? All sorts of things run through both parties minds, at some point the date ends...
Wait...go there, turn...turn, yeah I wanna there ...My date wanted ice cream.
I can carry the handbasket and "eventually" catch up to younger woman running down the frozen food aisle.
That one...no the other one without the yucky stuff on the outside "Plop"! Good thing I had a good grip on the handles...
Crumpled up list is removed from kahkis pocket
Since we are here and everything...Yeah well made sense to me...sorta.
Bag salad, York peppermint candy, Milanos cookies, banannas ( not too green ya know) Chunky Clam chowder soup, and
is this chocolate pudding I like? Being a guy and all - I used my powers as such- spent about 2 seconds to deteremine in fact that indeed was "her" favorite. Snagged the White Chocolate one as well. Hey it was new and figured "since we had held hands and all" ( must mean we had gone onto the next level - right? ) I can suggest a new pudding. Then again if we had been on another aisle I might have suggested and put in the handbasket the stuff guys are notorious for putting into a ladies basket - you know, sardines, smoked oysters...
Crumpled money was also pulled from tiny pockets, along with .22 brass and plopped onto the counter. Checker asked if we had 4 cents, date looked up at me
pay her Hey I am guy, I just follow orders, I gave the checker the 4 pennies...
My date invited me in. Hey - this was a new and interesting twist on a 'first date'. No hem-hawing, no stalling, no small talk to kill time...
I gotta pee!Unlocks door, and as she runs to bathroom "
come on in....<doors banging, drawers opening / closing from down the hall>
"Honey, did you forget something?"
Like what? < yelled from down the hall>
"Your 'date'".
Yeah well do something with 'it' When asked if my date had a good time, my date had turned into a frog, well partially anyway. Frog Feet replied -
YeahIhadareallycooltime...wehadcheesedip...For us non seven year olds:
Yeah I had a really cool time...we ate cheese dip...<animations of play, arms waving, swishing swords, shooting guns...>
Sawsomesuckyartsomereallyneatartlikeinyourartbookreallyreallyneatoneaboutthinking...For us non seven year olds:
Saw some sucky art, some really neat art like in your art book, really really neat one about thinking...Now I was really having a hard time making a decision on my way home. You know how it goes, the date is over, there you are a guy driving home alone, your date is at her place. You start 'thinking' , re-playing the whole evening. Oh I was doing that all right, what I was contemplating? Did I want to remove the chocolate 'lipstick' off my cheek or the chocolate off my moustache first when I arrived home?
Hey, at least I didn't have to endure that " are we gonna kiss goodnight" dealie. She came over to my side of the table where I was sitting, kissed me on the cheek and noticed chocolate ice cream on my moustache.
Never kissed a guy with a moustache before, then she kissed me , giggled
that tickles...mom you can kiss my date to see what if feels like if you want...Offer was declined.
I will never forget my date saying goodnight. Frog Feet walk outside the door with me, I bend down she hugs me, and thru the slammed door
Bye!Few days later...
Well I had appreciated the fine time on my 'first date" with Frog Feet. Now being a Southern Gentleman and all...no chocolate was not a good idea, flowers, I don't know, I mean this chocolate and flower sending bit is kinda, well...
Mom....hurry...open it...hurry Oh COOL its "Rodents Thingy" "Rodin"
Yeah well so what, look this is the guy that looks like he is sitting on the pot...I figured chocolates get eaten, flowers wilt and die. I mean a lady is supposed to remember her 'first date' and all. Figured a Art Center Copy of Rodent's...err Rodin's Gates of Hell would do the trick.
Phil
Author
Topic: Asking someone out - Being asked out (Read 10620 times)